Forbidden Desires

Emma.

The bath was glorious. The smell of lavender filled the room and I closed my eyes, sinking further into the hot water. The alcohol buzzing through my system had finally worn off, but my confusion over Gavin hadn't. He was in the room yesterday when Cooper asked me to attend the event tonight, so he knew I'd be with Cooper. I wanted to let myself imagine that Gavin was staking his claim on me, and at the same time, that thought disgusted me. But I was also disgusted with myself. What the hell was I doing in Cooper's bathtub? At first, a little tipsy and seeing the glorious room, it had been totally innocent. But now, as the effects of the vodka faded, it felt anything but. Was I subconsciously making my decision? An irreversible one, at that?

Cooper's knock echoed through the bathroom. "Emma?"

"Yes?"

Cooper opened the door and let himself in. I looked down, realizing all the bubbles had vanished. Nothing but pink skin as far as the eye could see. I folded my arms over my chest.

He held back a grin and looked away, clearing his throat. "Sorry, you, uh... got a phone call, and I saw who it was so I answered."

"Who was it?"

"Gavin. I told him you were in the bath." Cooper's face didn't betray his satisfaction, but his voice did.

My heart banged in my chest at his words as I considered the implication and impression they caused. Cooper watched me, waiting for my reaction.

"That's perfect, thank you." It wasn't a lie. And if Gavin felt jealous, it served him right. I didn't want to play his silly games. I was out with a sweet guy and having a damn fine time. Cooper gave me a wide smile, seeming very pleased at my dismissal of Gavin.

"Did you need something else?" I asked as I rubbed my feet together in the warm water.

"Do you like being here with me, princess?"

I hesitated, not wanting to lead him on, but not wanting to lie either. "Yes."

He moved into the bathroom, leaving the barrier of the door behind. Leaning down, he gently kissed my forehead.

"You are so fucking perfect, it hurts," he whispered near my ear.

I didn't know what to say, so I remained frozen beneath the water. He was so sweet. So gentle. Nothing at all like Gavin. And, damn it, it felt so good to be cherished.

"Let me wash your hair. Nothing else, I swear it."

I nodded in response, my throat suddenly tight and dry. He pumped a few drops of shampoo into his hand and knelt on the floor by the tub, gentling massaging my head with his fingers.

"Mmm... that feels good." I leaned back into his big hands. No one ever pampered me like this, and even though doubt lingered in the back of my mind, I wanted to enjoy the moment.

An excess of lather built and suds slid down my neck and chest. Cooper's breathing quickened, but his touch was controlled. He worked his way from my scalp to the ends of my hair, until he was massaging my neck and shoulders with the thick white foam. After he rinsed my hair, he conditioned it, taking his time stroking my locks until all the tangles were gone.

I glanced at Cooper's intense stare and felt my cheeks burn, so I looked away and flicked the drain open with my toe. He opened a huge towel and lifted me when I stood, wrapping me inside and carrying me back to his bed. He sat me down and grabbed the clothes he'd brought for me. Cooper turned to face the wall, and I let the towel drop and slipped the sweatshirt on as guilty feelings began to stir.

How bad was it to come on Gavin's fingers one day and then get naked in Cooper's tub the next? Super bad or just a little bad? I couldn't face him, feeling more confused than ever. My chances with Gavin might have just slipped away with that bath water, but maybe that was a good thing.

"I-I think I better get going." I looked down at my lap, my head spinning, and wondered if maybe I was still tipsier than I thought.

"I'll call you a car, princess."

When Cooper left the room, I slipped on the huge sweatpants he'd brought for me, cinching the waist tight to keep them from falling. I gathered my dress and purse and headed down the hall, finding my shoes by the door. High heels and sweatpants? No, no one would think this was a walk of shame. Bare feet in the city was not an option, however, so I slipped on the heels as Cooper came over, laughing at the sight.

"You like my new look?" I turned around for him, and he nodded.

"Car's out front. I'll walk you out." Cooper held my hand as we entered the elevator, and when the doors opened in the lobby, he peeked around. "Coast is clear."

I smiled at him. "I look good in heels and sweats."

After planting an innocent kiss on his scruffy cheek, I stepped into the car and pulled out my phone, looking back at the call log to see how long the brothers had spoken. About five minutes. Were they talking about me the whole time? What did Gavin say was the reason for calling me? I should have asked Cooper, but I knew it would offend him to talk more about Gavin. He was patient all night with my many questions.

I opened my messages and wrote to Gavin, I'm sorry. I read the words over and over and debated sending. Deciding against it, I pushed to delete the text and accidentally sent it. Damn this new phone.

The phone pinged almost instantly, and Gavin's text read, Why, did something happen with Cooper?

My heart rose into my throat, and I debated lying before texting back a simple, Yes. He replied a few minutes later as the car pulled up to my building, Why would I care?

I wrote back quickly, Why else would you have asked?

Damn, Gavin could be such a child. Cooper would never play a game like this; he'd just tell me he wanted me. Maybe Gavin was a bit more damaged. He had textbook anger issues, after all. Reading his final response, Glad you had fun with my brother, I almost threw my phone down on the seat.

"Thanks," I called to the driver, my irritation obvious. Fucking Gavin. It was his idea in the first place that I should work with both of them.

My house looked drab in comparison to Cooper's high-end palace. I threw my purse and keys on the kitchen table and poured myself a tall water. The sounds of my neighbor's TV bled through the walls, and a siren wailed outside. Cooper's apartment had been quiet save for the light music that played through a built-in speaker system.

I flopped on my bed and curled up in the blankets. It was getting late, but there was no chance I could sleep. I felt a deep sense of shame about Cooper and the bathtub.

I typed out and erased a dozen messages to Gavin, some apologetic, some admitting that I'd stalked him for nearly a year, some telling him off.

And what about Cooper? Did I owe him an apology too? I hated the thought of leading him on.

When did my life get so confusing?

***

Cooper.

Ever since I'd answered Emma's phone, Gavin had been acting like a complete cockhead, snapping at me, Quinn, Sonja, and anyone else in his path. But through it all, he still hadn't asked me the question. The one I knew was burning a hole in his gut.

Now, the two of us sat alone in Quinn's office, the smell of food lingering in the air between us along with the tension. As we waited for Quinn, I wondered if Gavin would finally break.

"Where the fuck is he?" Gavin barked.

"Chill out. He'll be here."

"Don't tell me to chill. Ever. I'm starting without him." Gavin grabbed a container of noodles and filled his plate.

"I'm here, boys. Now play nice," Quinn said as he came in and shut the door. I filled my own plate as he slid into the seat across from Gavin. "What's your problem today?" Quinn asked him. "Cooper's smug," Gavin said before helping himself to a forkful of pad thai.

"No, I asked what your problem was. Cooper being smug is Cooper's problem," Quinn said.

"I don't have a problem then."

"So, this is about Emma," Quinn said.

"Yes," I answered as Gavin gave a resounding, "No."

When Quinn and I said "liar" in unison, a deeper scowl formed on Gavin's face. He looked down at his plate, digging in once again.

"Gavin's been flying solo a long time," Quinn said. "Seems to me he really likes Emma and doesn't want to admit it to us."

At that, Gavin rolled his eyes, then glared at me. "What happened with Emma last weekend?"

Quinn and I looked at each other, both in shock at the very revealing question. Gavin did like her. More than he was letting on.

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Shit.

It was what I wanted. Or, part of me did, at least. But I couldn't deny I was getting attached to little Emma Bell myself.

"We went out, I brought her back to my place, she got undressed and enjoyed my spa tub..."

Gavin was hanging on my every word as Quinn shot me a stern look of warning.

Suddenly, Gavin let out a muttered snarl and pushed his unfinished plate across the table, then stood and left the room.

Quinn shook his head at me. "Why'd you have to do that, Coop? You know he has a harder time with this stuff than you. You win women over all the time, and you know he's been alone for a long time now. Maybe this is the one for him." I hated when Quinn was right. And, damn it, I knew Emma wanted Gavin too, even though he wasn't treating her the way she deserved.

But I loved my brother. At the end of the day, what I wanted most was to see him happy.

I released a heavy sigh and stood to follow Gavin, who'd retreated to his office. Alyssa eyed me as I passed her desk and knocked on his door.

"Go the fuck away, please," Gavin called back.

I opened the door and closed us inside his office. "Do you like her or not? Tell me now, last chance."

"Nope. She's all yours. You've already had her, anyway."

"So if I didn't have her already, do you like her?" I demanded, clenching my fists at my sides. If only he knew what this was costing me, maybe he'd show one ounce of appreciation.

"No." Gavin looked into my eyes without blinking.

"All right, then."

Gavin creased his brow at me. "But I like how she handles herself as an escort, so I may still take her out sometime."

Liar. As if we didn't have a host of professionals who would suit him just fine.

If I didn't know it before, I was starting to understand that Gavin was even more damaged that I'd ever assumed. After growing up without a mother's love, all I desired was love, intimacy, and affection at the end of a long day. But Gavin craved control-plain and simple. Because if he was calling the shots, he could never get hurt.

We were totally different, but there was no question we were headed for a collision course and soon-when it came to Emma Bell.

And something told me that one of us was going to find ourselves in a world of pain.