Flip (Next Level Book 2)

I almost slip and tell Trey that what’s changed is that I have big, deep feelings for him. And where will that land me?

No. Where will that land him?

Trey’s been the only man I’ve even let touch me in a long time. Not that he knows about my non-existent love life, and I’m not willing to share my secrets or bare my soul to him any time soon.

I should have been prepared for tonight. I know that. Even if it was a waste of money and we didn’t fuck, at least I should have planned for it and stashed condoms in my room.

Because ever since we fucked, it’s all I think about when I’m alone at night in my bed. And in the shower. Even when I’m gardening…

Wow, I’m pathetic. I’m also out of my depth.

Trey looks at me like I’m the hottest woman on earth. Spoiler alert: I’m not.

My ass is starting to sag, my boobs were never the same after I had my son, and I’ve been running myself to the ground for years. I can’t remember the last time I got a decent night’s sleep. Shit, I can’t even remember the last time I had my eyebrows waxed.

I rub my eyes and realize I still have some of Trey’s cum on my damn face.

Holy crap. I’m a mess.

No. I’m a dumpster fire.

Trey should run, fast and far from me if he knows what’s good for him.

The alternative is having him stay forever, and that’s not going to happen. He’s got his career, a social life, adventure and excitement. A golden path of success is laid out before him, and I’d only be a roadblock. A dead end. There’s no way I’d ever want to stop him from going after all he wants and Trey’s the kind of man who would not only hang the moon for his woman, but he’d also shut down the world so she could take a break and relax while he did all the heavy lifting.

He’s perfect.

“You coming, or am I going to have to put you over my shoulder and fireman carry you in here, Erin?”

He’s also bossy, did I mention that?

I like it though. It’s nice to give in and let someone else take the reins for a night. Trey’s the only one I’ve ever submitted to. I try to not think about why that might be.

He meets me at the doorway to the bathroom and wraps his massive hands around my waist. “There you are,” he says. “Thought you’d snuck off to clean the mess downstairs.”

I should have.

As if he can’t tell my heart is cracking, Trey flashes me a brilliant smile and ushers me into my own shower. He closes the curtain and leaves me alone for a few heartbeats before joining me. Thank god. I think I’d cry if he didn’t.

I’m not sure where we stand with each other. Tonight escalated for us in more than one way—at least on my end. Yes, I want to have sex with him again. Yes, I want him to stay for however long I can convince him to.

But my son will be home from camp in a couple days, and what on earth would I tell him about Trey being here? Or worse… Glitch? He’ll kill me if he knows I’ve been hooking up with his best friend. Keeping secrets from each other is not how we generally work. In fact, it was a rule I put in place right after our parents died. I couldn’t bear the thought of Glitch going through anything—good or bad—and me not being a part of it. Now I’m keeping this huge thing from him, and it feels wrong.

This is getting serious.

Sometimes I imagine what life with Trey would look like. I squash it before getting too far though. It only hurts to think of it.

Trey takes up all the space and air in my little shower. He’s a big guy. Chiseled body, dark brown eyes, full lips, amazing personality—he’s the complete fantasy package, and he knows it. Oh I’ve seen the way he swaggers into a room. Sometimes his confidence rubs off on me. It only lasts as long as our trysts, but I love every second of how he makes me feel.

“Thank you,” he says, cupping my face.

It takes me a second to realize he’s wiping cum off my cheek. “For the best blow job ever?”

His laugh warms my skin more than the shower does. “For that, and also for trusting me enough to push you like this… dirty girl.”

The pleasure, I sometimes fear, is all mine. I snatch my loofa and body wash, then busy myself because I don’t want to talk anymore.

“Here, let me.” Trey plucks the loofa from my hand and turns me around, scrubbing my back first.

He does a thorough job of cleaning every inch of my backside, and even squats down and kiss both my butt cheeks before rising to his full height again. “Goddamn,” he says, slapping my ass. The sound is loud in the steamy bathroom. I swear I feel his handprint burning into my skin.

I wish it would.

“I could eat you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.” He spins me around and starts working on my front. Making wide circles around each of my breasts, he looks enthralled while I stand there, unsure of what to do with my hands. I grab shampoo.

“I wanted to do that next,” he fusses.

“Well, my water heater sucks, which means we’ve got about two more minutes of hot water left so… maybe next time.”

Will there be a next time? God, I hope so.

Trey pulls the nozzle down and sprays the soap off me from head to toe. True to its nature, my water starts cooling before he’s rinsed my feet off.

“Shit, you weren’t lying.” Trey starts spraying himself off, and I see goosebumps rise along his skin. His nipples harden and muscles tense up because now the water is near frigid. “Woo! That’ll wake you up.”

I laugh even though I’m partially embarrassed. I can’t even offer him a long hot shower. How could I possibly offer him a life with me and my son?

Stepping out of the shower, I give him a fresh, dry towel from my cabinet. “You should probably go.”

“What happened to me staying?”

“I need to get some sleep. There’s a lot to get done before the wedding.”

“I’m here to help.”

“Glitch will be here early in the morning. He can’t know you spent the night.”

“Erin. We can’t keep doing this.”

We have to, because once we stop it’s over. “I’m not ready to make a change yet.”

“Says the woman who just finished telling me things have changed.”

Damnit. He’s right. I’m being stupid. No grown ass woman should act like this. “Look, maybe you should…”

“I’m not leaving.”

My heart thuds hard in my throat. “Trey.”

“Erin.” He dries off and hangs his towel. Standing in front of me… no, towering in front of me, he licks his lips, and his expression turns somber. “Look, I’m gonna be straight with you. I don’t like that we just hook up when I’m in town. I don’t like that I have to wait for an excuse to see you when I want to be able to call you whenever I want and swing by to pick you up so we can spend time together.”

“Swing by,” I scoff. “You live over two hours away. You can’t just swing by.”

“I’m not finished with what I have to say.”

His authoritative tone shuts me up, and that’s never happened before.

“You’re not just some challenge for me, Erin. You’re more than that. So yeah, I guess things have changed. On both our ends. If you don’t want to see where this thing between us can go, then tell me now. But if you’re willing to give me a shot… a real shot… then let me into your life as more than this.” He flicks his hands between our naked bodies. “I lo—” Trey clears his throat and tries again. “I love being with you. And Beetle. I love how we are together.”

“You mean you love having a slut on her knees with your cock in her mouth and cum on her face.” I fold my arms to hug myself. I’m picking a fight, and I know it, but can’t seem to stop. It’s this or hear him confess something I’m not ready to hear.

Or worse, be let down because he’s not going to confess what I’m not ready to hear.

Jesus, I’m a clusterfuck.

“You’re right.” Trey clenches his molars, making his jaw sharper. “I like having you on your knees for me.” He drops to floor and says, “And I love being on mine for you.”

I swear I feel faint. This topic is shifting again, and I can’t find my bearings. “Get up.”

“Not until I’m done saying what I have to say.”

Then say it before I unravel and make a fool out of myself. “Fine.”

“Go to dinner with me.”

“We just did that!”

“I mean after the wedding. With Beetle. Just the three of us.”

I back up and throw my hands out. “Whoa, whoa, whoa.”

Trey rises to his feet. “We’ve done it before.”

“That didn’t count! Glitch was there too.”

“So?”

“So?” What does he mean so? “So, my son will be there with us. He might get the wrong impression.”

“And what would that be, Erin? That a man wants to take his mother out for a nice night? That he might see someone treat his mother like a fucking queen for once? I doubt Beetle will mind.”

“Stop.” I feel nauseous. “This is just supposed to be a fun time, Trey. Not serious.”

“We’ll go out for fast food. How’s that for ‘not serious’?”

“I’m not sure we should do this.”

“Give me a good reason why not.”

He folds his arms, and my eyes glaze over his biceps. God, he’s stacked. And I know he’s only trying to do something nice and genuine for me. I just don’t know what to do with that level of kindness.

“I’m waiting, Erin. Give me a reason why we can’t do this.”

“I…”

I don’t have one. Not one that won’t break my heart into a million pieces and it’s too fragile lately anyway. There are things I haven’t told anyone about. Things I don’t want to revisit ever again. Things that haunt me every day…

“I don’t know why.”

Trey nods. “Then we’re doing it.”

There he goes, once again trying to push me out of my comfort zone. Only I wait for either thrill or dread to hit my gut and neither of those things come. Instead, all I feel is relief. “Okay,” I say softly.

“I’m sorry. What was that?” Trey cups his ear, a smile tearing across his handsome face. “Let me here that again.”

“I said okay.”

“A little louder.” He’s gloating and looks great doing it, damnit.

“I said, OKAY!”

Trey snatches me by the waist and crushes me against his chest. “That’s my girl. Always willing to try new things.”

“Ugh. Get off me.” I playfully shove away from Trey and manage to push him out of the bathroom with the excuse of having to use the toilet. I hear him chuckling softly in my bedroom while he’s, I presume, getting dressed, and I have a full on melt down into my towel.

I don’t know what to do.

Staring at my reflection, all I see is a tired, worn-down roadblock.

A selfish one at that.

My mind scrambles to come up with the excuses I’ll have to give my son when things don’t work out between me and Trey. Because they won’t. I know it. He’s going places and I’m not.

And I refuse to ever hold Trey back.