Finding Forgiveness

The next morning, the sky was thick with cloud and the air dank and clingy. Through an open window, the humid smell of the rainforest drifted in and settled in the bedroom.

Andrea was gone.

I didn't know where and frankly, I didnt care. It gave me the opportunity to get up and rid myself of him in a cold shower. I sat on the floor underneath the shower faucet and let the water fall onto my head and drip down my back. As I pulled my knees into my chest, I watched it disappeared in a neat stream down the drain in the corner of the shower.

I stayed there until the coldness of the water chilled me to the bone at which point I turned off the water leaving me in the silence of the bathroom.

A few more minutes later, I brought myself to stand up and wrap a towel around my self. After wiping the steam from the mirror, I caught sight of my reflection. My hair was in a wet tangled mess, my eyes dark from hardly sleeping for the last few days and my face and arms covered in various bruises.

I sighed and looked away, unable to bear looking at myself in such a state.

It was two days before Andrea returned. I'd spent most my time sitting in the garden, under the same large tree staring out into the jungle or plucking the grass with my fingers. Chico always lurked around me but never said a single word. Occasionally, he'd thrust some food in my direction that I'd refuse to eat but most of the time we just coexisted together, both awaiting Andrea's return.

He arrived at just before midday whilst I was still lying silently in the bed, unable to bring myself to move. After speaking in Spanish to Chico for a while, he came straight upstairs.

The bedroom door opened and I rolled over to face away from him. I didn't want to see his face, not even for a second.

"I hear you haven't eaten,” he said.

I didn't reply.

"Ella," he replied deeply. "Don't ignore me."

“I'm not hungry," I said eventually.

"Whatever," he grumbled before I heard his footsteps near me. "But this is for you."

I looked up to what he was handing me. It was a small box, the writing was in Spanish but inside were packets of pills.

For the first time in two days, I looked up into his eyes and raised an eyebrow, "Why are you giving me this?"

"Because I don't want no kid. Take one every morning and every night. Do not forget. Understand?" he replied.

I looked back down to the box. It was birth control. He was giving me birth control.

"You can't force me to take birth control,” I spat.

"Oh yeah?" he replied. "But I don't need to, Blanca. Do you want to get pregnant with my kid? What would your Alpha think about that? Huh?" "Fuck you,” I said, throwing the box on the floor. I then got up and attempted to storm out of the room.

But he caught my arm and pulled me back towards him.

"You are going to take those pills and you aren't going to question it," he growled.

I stared him in the eye before he finally let go and walked towards the bathroom.

"And go downstairs and eat something. You're getting skinny,” he called.

The night he got so drunk he passed out I shouldn't have listened to Chico. I should have killed him when I had the chance.

Wanting to be as far away from him as possible, I headed downstairs and towards the garden. But as I passed through the kitchen, the most amazing smell filled my nostrils.

Chico was stood behind the stove stirring something on the hob.

"The boss wants tacos,” he said to me. "I made enough for you."

"I'm not-"

"Just come here,” he replied after looking at the doorway, presumably to check Andrea hadn't appeared.

I sighed and joined him by the stove, "There is little you can do about your situation,” he began picking up a taco shell, "But you still need to take care of yourself."

He then filled it with whatever was in the pan and handed it to me.

I looked down at the steaming beef inside and the soft floury shell and smelt the spices and flavour in the air before I gave in and took a big bite.

"Good?" he asked

I nodded closing my eyes and enjoying the tase, "So good.”

He smiled, possibly for the first time ever, and handed me a plate with three more.

"Enjoy," he said before Andrea appeared in the kitchen, still wet from his shower and only wearing a pair of sweatpants and his face hardened again.

Andrea sat opposite me eating his tacos. He kept looking up but didn't speak until he was finished.

"We're going to Colombia this evening,” he said eventually. "Just you and 1."

"Why?" I asked.

"I gotta another job I want you to help me with," he replied.

“I don't want to be involved in any more murder," I said. “Please-" "Relax," he said with a laugh. "No one's gonna die if all goes to plan. So pack a bag. We're going for three days.”

The only clothes I had were the ones I arrived in, a few t-shirts Andrea had leant me and underwear from the weird draw of ladies lingeries that Andrea had for some reason. So I packed what I could and I soon found myself back in the SUV, this time with Andrea driving.

"We aren't following signs in the direction of Colombia," I said once we got into Caracas

"That's because we're making a stop first," he replied.

"Where?" I asked

"Enough with the questions,” he snapped. "You'll find out when we get there.”

We were soon on a jungle track, rife with potholes. Unsurprisingly, Andrea was an incredibly reckless driver. That combined with the terrible state of the road and limbs of jungle sticking out, obscuring the road, meant that I felt my life was fairly at risk.

At long last, he pulled up on the side of the road and I thanked the Goddesses for preserving my life.

"We're here," he said as he finally stopped the car before opening the door and taking his gun off the dashboard and putting it in the back of his pants.

I wasn't exactly sure where here was but I got out the car and followed him through the dense jungle. After a few metres, I could just about see a warehouse a hundred metres away. We walked down an overgrown path until we reached it and Andrea knocked loudly on the door. "Andrea!" a jolly looking man said after the door opened. "Patron!" "Javier, my best exporter. It's good to see you again,” Andrea said in English.

The man's eyes flickered down to me and he gave a knowing look.

"I see you have a gringa with you?" he responded also in English.

"Ella Loren,” Andrea said putting a firm hand on my shoulder. "Was once Alpha Loren's but is now mine."

Javier smiled, "She's a pretty thing. How'd you come across Loren's mate?"

"It's a long and unpleasant story,” Andrea replied. "But I have some more important things I want to discuss with you."

"Please," Javier said. "Please come in."

He turned and began walking back into the warehouse at which point, Andrea withdrew his gun and without hesitation shot him in the back of the head. He fell forward onto his knees and then straight motionless onto the floor.

My lips quivered and I brought a shaking hand up to my mouth.

"Why- why did you do that?" I asked. "I thought you were friends?" Andrea stepped forward over him and prodding his body with his foot. "We were," he said with a shrug. "But then he screwed me over.”

I stepped back and pressed my back against the wall, closing my eyes and blocking the site of blood oozing from his head.

"What did he do?" I asked looking back to Andrea who was still staring down at the body, unphased by the gore.

"He gave information about my exports to my rival, Gustavo Escobar," he replied in a deep tone. "And I can't have a snitch working for me.”

I looked around the warehouse and only then noticed how it was piled high to the roof with packets of what looked like cocaine, weed and heroin.

"I knew there was a mole in my operation because my export trucks kept getting hijacked even though we take unexpected routes at unexpected times that no one could guess without inside information. But when I realised his trucks were never touched, it became clear who that mole was," Andrea explained crouching down to Javier's body and letting out a long sigh. "It's a shame he chose to betray me. He really was my best exporter.”

It was the first hint of remorse I had ever seen from him and it was mildly reassuring but then he shrugged and simply stood up.

"We're taking over the export today since Javier is...otherwise engaged...and this is where you come in. If you're driving, the border control will let a cute little blonde girl through easy and the drugs will get into Colombia without having to kill any state soldiers, which the government usually gets a bit pissed off at me for doing which leads to a whole host of complications. We're on good terms right now, they let me get on with my business and I leave them to their's so I don't wanna ruin that."

"Now you want me to help you smuggle drugs across countries?” I asked.

"I mean or I could just massacre the whole patrol guarding the border station. Your choice," he replied.

"The first option,” I replied quietly.

"Glad we're on the same page,” he said with a sarcastic smile. "Now, I will deal with the body. You go around the back and start unloading the boxes labelled Bogota from the truck behind the warehouse," he ordered.

I nodded, glad to get away from the dead body and hurried around the back of the warehouse.

There was, in fact, a pile of boxes in a truck but what Andrea didn't warn me of was the two teenagers, 16 at most, already doing what Andrea had ordered me to do. They both immediately turned around and stared at me blankly.

"Gringa?" one asked.

I nodded.

"We no speak much English," the other said. "What you doing here?" “I'm here with Andrea.”

"Andrea Martinez? The boss?"

I nodded.

The exchanged nervous looks and froze. Guilt and fear were all over their faces. It was clear they had a reason to be concerned about Andrea's presence but despite being involved in drugs, they were young and seemed innocent.

"Listen. You need to get out of here. I'll try and hold him back," I said without a second thought.

They nodded, dropped their boxes and began to move fast towards the jungle. Just then we all heard the warehouse door open and footsteps come towards us

"Go!" I shouted. "Now!"

They bolted and seconds later, Andrea marched out.

He held up his arm straight and shot mercilessly into the forest after the boys until the gun ran out of bullets. After putting the gun back in his belt, he turned to me and wrapped one hand around my neck. "You better stay right here," he growled.

I nodded frantically trying to prise his fingers off my throat to free my airway. He then dropped me onto the floor and sprinted into the jungle in the direction of the boys.

I took a few seconds to catch my breath before fumbling back into the warehouse. Javier's body was still in a bloody mess on the floor and Andrea had only got as far as rolling him onto his back. I gasped at the site of his pale grey skin and wide open eyes before taking a deep breath and shakily looking in his pocket for a phone.

Blood was still pouring out of his head and it got on my hands but all I could think about was calling Leo before Andrea could get back and find me.

I eventually found his mobile, the screen was cracked, presumably from his fall and it only had one bar of service but I could still dial Leo's number.

"It's me," I said as soon as someone picked up.

"Ella?" Leo's smooth voice replied.

"Gustavo Escobar," I said quickly. "He's Andrea's rival and you might be able to get more information from him."

"Do you have anything else?"

"I have to go," I whispered as I heard Andrea's footsteps come out the jungle. I quickly hung up, shoved the phone back in Javier's pocket and wiped my hands as best I could on him.

"Blanca!" Andrea's voice shouted before the door to the warehouse opened I stood up straight and backed away as his eyes set on me next to Javier. His white shirt was saturated in red along with his hands and there were even splatters on his face. "I thought I told you not to move?" he questioned marching up to me.

He then grabbed one of my hands and lifted it up to take a closer look. "What the fuck have you done?" he asked seizing my wrist tightly. “l.I-" I stuttered.

"Let me guess, you used Javier's phone to call your precious mate?" he said turning to Javier and delving his hand into his pocket.

I stayed quiet as he held the phone up and turned to me. It had Javier's blood on it from my hands and he could check the recent calls list; there was no point trying to lie.

I nodded meekly.

"Stupid fucking woman," he sneered roughly putting one hand around my neck once again and slamming me into the wall. With the other hand, he withdrew his gun and held it at my head. "What did you tell him?!"

I stayed quiet.

"What did you fucking tell him?!" he repeated smashing my head against the wall.

"That I'm in the Venezuelan jungle. That is all,” I lied in between gasps for air.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't shoot you right now. It's reloaded and ready to go,” he demanded, pressing the gun harder against my skull. "Why I shouldn't just cut the bother? I'm Andrea Martinez, I don't tolerate shit like this."

"You need me for the export,” I said. "You could do it without me but that would risk getting yourself in more trouble than I could ever cause."

Andrea paused before letting go of me and allowing me to breathe. "Fine," he said. "I will kill you after.”

Better I suppose.

"Now..." he articulated looking me up and down. "No border guard is going to let a woman covered in blood through without question. Change your clothes, wash your hands and neck and I'll be dealing with this rotting corpse and loading the car with the drugs outside. Don't try anything, Blanca, or this time I really will shoot you.”

I nodded and looked down at my clothes that had gone red from where Andrea's shirt had pressed against me. My neck was also covered in it from where his bloody hand had been too.

I did as he said and found a bathroom with running water to clean myself with. I watched as watery blood washed down the sink and thought about who it belonged to. Those boys were so young and although I didn't know it for sure, Andrea had almost certainly killed them both. I then changed into clean clothes from the bag I'd packed. When I came back from into the main warehouse, Javier's body had gone and only a thick pool of sticky blood remained so I went around the back to find Andrea.

The boxes that were being unloaded were now gone and in their place was a lilac tiny car. Andrea was stood next to it with his blood covered shirt off by an outside tap washing his face and chest.

"What are you staring at, babe? My abs?" he asked.

"No...your car actually,” I replied looking at the sickly shade of purple coloured thing. "Not the sort of thing I'd expect you to drive, Andrea.” "I'm not driving it," he said throwing me a set of keys. "You are. And you do know how to drive, right?"

I nodded kind of glad that I was going to have to sit in the passenger seat enduring his reckless driving anymore.

A few moments later, Andrea was fully dressed again and I was trying to work out how to drive this car.

"Put the clutch down, Blanca," Andrea said in a bored tone from the passenger seat. "Now the accelerator. It's just a normal car.”

I did what he said and slowly rolled the car forward.

"Jesus Christ," he muttered.

I ignored him and took the sharp corner around the warehouse towards the road with great care - especially since my entire body was still shaking from the events of the last ten minutes.

"Speed up,” he said. "There's no limit on this road and if there was, it probably wouldn't be 10 mph."

"I'm just getting used to the car," I replied. "I drive an automatic at home. Be patient.”

"Don't tell me what to do, woman," he snapped.

"If it's threatening your masculinity that much, you can drive," I replied "Watch it, Blanca," he warned with a smirk. "Remember how I almost killed you five minutes ago."

It was only twenty minutes before Andrea climbed into the back seat of the car and ducked into the footwell. He also pulled out his gun and held it ready which concerned me a little, to say the least.

"The border is just around here. Smile, tell them you're here on vacation and flirt if you have to. If you prove to be useful, I might consider keeping you alive. We'll see.”

Might consider...sounds promising...

I drove on and minutes later we were approaching a bridge with a barrier across it and half a dozen or so men in military uniform standing guard. They were all werewolves and held big guns and eyed the car as we neared.

"Oh shit," Andrea cursed. "Those ain't no state police.”

"Who are they?" I asked.

"Gustavo's men..." he whispered. "He must have taken over the border.” "Should I turn around?" I asked, my heart rating raising.

"It's too late. They've seen the car,” he replied. "Fuck."

He then reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a walkie talkie. “I'm gonna need back up,” he said into it and a voice replied confirming.

"I have men not too far from here,” he told me. "You've just gotta fool them long enough.”

I nodded as we got close and Andrea ducked further into the footwell. One of the guards approached the car and I wound down.

"You speak Spanish, Miss?" he asked.

"No, Sefior," I replied in my best Spanish as I gripped the steering wheel and not looking him in the eye.

He sniffed the air, obviously detecting my scent and eyed me closer. "Passport," he demanded. I reached into my bag and found my passport before handing it to him.

It was a good job the name on my passport was still Ella Jones and not Loren.

"American? Here for vacation or..?" he said looking from me to the photo on my passport.

"Vacation," I said quickly.

"Alone?" he asked and I nodded.

He then used the end of my passport to brush my hair off my neck, "Where's your mate?"

"At home with the kids," I replied.

He nodded and looked down at the passport once again.

"Just a second,” he said and then walked over to another two guards with my passport and began talking to them.

"You're acting suspicious, Blanca,” Andrea hissed. "You need to buy time for the backup to come.”

They talked for thirty seconds or before he stamped my passport and came back.

"We need to ask some questions and you'll be good to go," he said to me.

"Sure," I said with a smile.

"Firstly, that's a big mark you have. Who is your mate?" he asked. "An Alpha?"

I nodded.

"Alpha Thomas. We're from a small pack in Texas," I replied trying my best to keep eye contact.

"Small?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

I nodded again.

"And where are you heading to tonight?" he asked.

"Bogota," I said.

"That's a long way to travel alone. Your Alpha doesn't mind?" he replied.

I shook my head, "He trusts me."

"Very well,” he said with a nod. "But I will need to search you and your vehicle."

My heart dropped.

"Is that really necessary officer?” I asked.

"Please step out of the car, Sefiora,” he ordered.

I did but as slowly as possible as I scanned around looking for my best escape option. The road had thick jungle either side, if... mean when...the shooting begins, I could get myself there and find some relative safety.

I closed the car door finally and the guard gestured me to hold my arms out. I slowly lifted them up and let him pat me down.

When he was sure I was clear and unarmed, he then gestured for more the guards to join him as he walked around to the trunk of the car. Inside the car, I saw Andrea loading up another gun so that he had two in his hands.

The officer put his hand on the trunk handle and I took a deep breath. There was only a piece of metal between him and discovering boxes of hard drugs and only the pull of a trigger between me and a bullet.