Finding Forgiveness

Andrea came into the bedroom an hour or so later after the other men had left. He peeled off his shirt and collapsed next to me on the bed. He reeked of beer and tequila and a shiny sweat was visible on his skin as he fumbled around in his belt for his gun which he then threw carelessly onto the nightstand.

"You'll feel like shit in the morning if you don't drink water now," I said after a few moments. "Even werewolves aren't immune to that amount of alcohol.”

"Then get me water,” he grumbled.

I got up and fetched him a large glass of water from the bathroom which he proceeded to drink the whole of.

He then rolled onto his back and gestured to his feet, "Take my shoes off."

I knealt down by the side of the bed and untied his laces before pulling the first shoe off his foot. As I reached for the other, he put his hand on the back of my neck and pushed his fingers up through my hair.

"I want you right now, Blanca,” he replied. "But I'm too drunk.”

I breathed a sigh of relief and continued to fumble with his shoe.

"You need to sleep,” I said after finally getting his shoe off and putting it neatly by the other one at the end of the bed.

He beckoned for me to come closer to him with a hand gesture but his drunken clumsiness gave me the confidence to refuse. He glared for a few moments before lurching forward, grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him.

I held my breath as he held my face inches away from his and stared in silence. The anticipation of his next move drove me mad, but then he just let me go, rested his head on the pillow and closed his eyes.

"Good night, Blanca,” he mumbled.

I slowly stood up. He didn't stir.

Keeping my eyes fixated on him, I crept forward and took his gun from the nightstand and then crept back towards the door which was only a couple of metres away and millimetre by millimetre silently turned the knob so that the door could be inched open.

Once I had slipped into the hallway with the bedroom door securely shut, I allowed myself to breathe and press my back against the wall, trying to pull myself together. I looked down at the gun; it was only a shotgun and relatively small but my hand still shook as I held it.

What the hell am I doing? How did I get myself into this?

But there was no going back now so I took a deep breath, composed myself and whilst keeping my eye out for Andrea coming after me, ran on my tiptoes down the dark hall towards the spiral stairs that lead down to the foyer.

Just as I reached the top of the stairs, I felt something grab my arm and pull me around the corner.

"What are you doing, gringa?" a voice asked.

It was deep but less harsh than Andrea's and with a thicker accent. Although his face was mostly shadowed by the night, I could tell it was Chico, still wearing the same expressionless face.

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"Trying to get yourself killed?" he said quickly pulling the gun out of my hand and flicking the safety cap on.

"No-I-," I stuttered.

"You know what the boss would do if he found out about this, yes?" he questioned shaking my shoulders. "Why would you try this?"

"I don't know," I whispered. "I wasn't thinking."

He sighed and glanced around the hall.

"You're going to tell him?"

He looked me in the eye briefly before pushing the gun back into my hands, "Take this and put it back exactly where you found it."

I nodded frantically and let out a shaky thanks as my lips quivered. "Don't do anything stupid,” he warned before letting me go.

As Chico had ordered, I went straight back to Andrea's room and replaced the gun being sure not to wake him and then I just silently lay down on the other side of the bed, my heart beating fast. The thuds of my pulse surged in my ears along with the fuzzy hum of a high pitched note. As time went by, it became less piercing and the surging slowed. My hands also stopped shaking and I felt myself relax.

I stared out the balcony at the rising moon and twinkling stars. The jungle seemed still and the twittering birds had been replaced by the clicking of hundreds of insects hidden in the undergrowth.

I must have been staring out for hours before I could sleep. Andrea didn't move leaving me alone to think over everything that had happened and to dwell on my own misery. The only comforting thought I could think was Cato now being safely at home, probably curled up in the warmth of Leo's arms as they both slept. I smiled to myself at the image of the pair but at the same time it wretched my stomach that I wasn't there to see it for myself.

I also thought about Chico, how he had helped me, how he had risked the wrath of Andrea for my benefit. He hadn't been warm or friendly or even smiled but it was nice to know that not everyone was fully against me here.

The next day, I woke to a prod in the back. I opened my eyes to be met with a gun.

I let out a choked gasp as I tried to shuffle away but he only laughed, withdrew the gun and turned away.

"Get up, Blanca,” he said. "We have shit to do today.”

I closed my eyes, once again trying to banish my fear. It was just his idea of a joke.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I could feel my hair sticking up in all directions and the bags under my eyes but I had no energy to do anything about it so I just followed Andrea downstairs to the kitchen. "Are you hungry?" he questioned.

"No," I said in a hoarse tone.

"Then go and sit out in the garden,” he said pointing to the doors. "I'll be out in a few minutes and we have much to discuss.”

I say nothing and just stepped out onto the patio, a clingy warmth instantly hitting me. Chico was walking on patrol around the perimeter of the lawn. He caught my eye and his stare lingered for a moment or two before he continued doing his job as if he'd never seen me.

The heat was unbearable so I made my way under the shade of a tree by the pool and pulled my knees against my chest. I watched the soft breeze ripple the water and slosh in against the ceramic edges. But despite its crystal blue colour and the fierce morning heat, I didn't feel invited by it in the slightest. I'd rather hide in the shadows.

Under the cover of the leafy tree, the temperature was comfortable and the air felt less thick and warm. I took a deep breath in and felt the closest to peace I had in days.

But wait. Here comes a condescending piece of shit to destroy that. Andrea stepped out of the house and scanned the yard for a few moments before his eyes landed on me. He strode across the neat lawn until he reached a deckchair just beside the tree I was underneath. He leant back and closed his eyes letting the sun rays doze his brown skin Considering his state last night, he did not look all that bad. His hair was unbrushed and he wasn't dressed in his usual smart attire but apart from that, there was little evidence of a hangover.

"Do you not like the sun, Blanca?" he asked.

"I live in Washington,” I replied bluntly after a moment or so.

"You'll get used to the heat soon enough," he said. "Anyway, we're going out.”

"Where?" I asked

"Remember how you were my lil errand bitch before I found out you were lying to me?" he began. "I don't normally give second chances but I'm thinking you could still have a use. If you prove me right, maybe I won't kill you.”

How comforting.

"As I told you yesterday, we're attending a party tonight and there will be a man there that you are going to help me kill,” he began. "When we arrive, I will point him out to you and then you're on your own because he can not see my face. All you have to do is get him upstairs alone. Shouldn't be too difficult. I got you a pretty dress to wear,” he explained.

"You want me to..." I began.

"Relax...you don't have to fuck him. Just act like you're going to. I'll come up and kill the bastard before he gets that far,” he explained. "How good is your acting?"

"I can't lie for shit," I replied.

"What about for your life, eh?" he asked. "If he finds out that you are working for me?"

He then laughed and smirked, "You will be dead, Blanca, and that's for sure."

I gulped.

"And make sure you get his gun off him. Understand?"

I nodded.

"Ever seduced a man before?" he asked.

"I have a mate,” I said. "As you are well aware.”

"Funny. I would have imagined that it's Loren that does the initiating," Andrea replied.

"You're surprisingly obsessed with Alpha Loren's sex life,” I began. "What else do you wanna know? How long it takes him to cum? His favourite position? If he's ever experimented with a man?"

"Watch it, Blanca,” Andrea hissed. "You're treading on thin ice.”

I grinned to myself, happy in the knowledge that I pissed him off.

"l ain't no motherfucking gay,” he replied. "I can show you how straight I am tonight if you like, huh?"

I looked down to the floor.

"That's what I thought,” he grumbled.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before he spoke again.