Chapter 21: Modesty
The next morning before I even have time to properly open my eyes Jane storms in. “Look I know you don’t understand Jessie.I said I would teach you and I should have thought to teach you this first.” She actually seems to be shy all of a sudden. The behaviour so out of place in the image of her I have constructed in the few short hours I haveknown her that it makes me more interested in what she would do next.
“You can’t look at human females when they are naked.” She blurts out turns and storms towards the den’s excite.
“Why?” I wonder.
She stops dead in her tracks and turns on me. “Because I said so!”She growls at me and disappears.
She doesn’t stay gone for long. When she reappears she has what Ian calls a bag with her.
“Okay I admit I did that wrong.” She frowns at me furiously. “Not because I said so…” She tries to explain again biting back the anger. “…because human society decided it many years ago.”
“What are years?” I ask.
“A way to measure and keep track of time.” She shrugs.
“What is time and measure?” I ask.
To my charging she storms off again. At this rate I will never make it back to my pack with a teacher that confuses me more with each answered question I would have to live here for the rest of my days. The thought is disturbing and I whine with frustration.
Like DenMother my whine brings her running back and I file this strange reaction to my emotions for later use. It had after all worked similarly the night before.
“I’m sorry okay. I’m new at this you know. I mean hell it’s not like I’ve had any experience in this before either. I’m right about you being here. I know it’s the best thing for you to learn slowly without being over crowded by all those others. Being here in a place that is like your old home. It is like it isn’t it?” She turns a hopeful gaze’s my way.
I don’t understand the same pup that was so self-assured and even took on the Alpha of her pack for me yesterday was acting confused and unsure pacing back and forth and now wanted me to say she was right. I wondered if she might be in heat only briefly but there was no scent so I dismissed the thought. I could not answer her knowing she would not like to hear me compare this lonely place to that of my pack den.
“I’m hungry, you?” I asked trying to distract her from the lesson she is trying to teach me so unsuccessfully.
She doesn’t answer just staring at me. “I suppose I can eat.” She finally admits.
I sentasilent thanks up to CatchingTail who’s coming of age lesion for me had been all about how to distract a female you had angered and find forgiveness. He had shown me that the first and most effective way to distract was always to admit to hunger and to find forgiveness to offer food. I had wanted both a distraction and forgiveness even though I wasn’t sure what I had done wrong and it worked.
Thinking of my coming of age lessons I immediately changed my way of thinking towards this new arrangement I find myself in. My pack had made sure that I would know what to do if I ever had to run a den of my own and although this den belonged to Jane I didn’t think she would have had the benefit of the same teachings or mind if I used what I had learned to benefit the both of us. We were after all a little pack of our own now even if it was just the two of us for now.
As we run I take special note of my new surroundings keeping my pack knowledge in mind. HunnyBee had recommended mint leaves to keep nats and other pesky insects at bay and I am pleased to find it not far from our den. I also note fish in our little stream not yet the right size to bother with but worth keeping an eye on. There is a good tree for nail sharpening and general scratching close by as well. I note the position of the sun and the amount of snow still thawing on the ground.
The scent of pheasants catches my nose and it being the season LightFoot recommended catching them in I lead us in their direction. It doesn’t take us long to grab one each and we feast on them outside not too close to where we caught them. I would not want them to scare off. On our way back I grab some mint and place it around the den. Jane is curious as to why I am doing it but seeing as she keeps her shield up I do the same. I don’t want to force her to hear me if she so obviously likes being alone.
“Jessie.” She says when I’m done and I sense that she is much calmer now. There is still a hint of shyness to her thoughts but I pretend not to notice.
“There are differences between males and females.” She pauses thinking that of course I would have noticed this by now. “What I mean is in humans there are more differences between males and females.” She sighs getting frustrated with herself. “In humans there are differences and those differences are dealt with differently from what wolfs deal with things.” She frowns deeply. “That doesn’t make any sense at all.”
“The birds and the bee’s talk.How interesting.” I hear Ian laugh softly from the den entrance.
Immediately Jane is furious and again I don’t understand why. She takes off and leaves me to my uncle I hope he has better luck teaching me than she does.
“Morning Jessie. I felt your excitement this morning.” He grins. “Hell I think the whole pack felt your excitement.” His smile widens. “Can I take a guess and say that you found our Jane very much to your liking in her human form.”
I don’t know how to answer. Of course I find her to my liking but the way uncle Ian says it makes me wonder if there is a deeper meaning to his words. I simply nod.
“I have to say most of us were very interested to see exactly what you were seeing when you bombarded us with your happy thoughts but alas you where shielding the image quite well. You know none of us has had the pleasure of seeing her in human form before you came? Yesterday when she helped stop your bleeding was the first time she had shown herself to me and Michael.” He raises his eyebrows.
This news is strangely comforting to me. I’m jealous of the beauty I had seen this morning and reluctant to share it. This is new feelings to me and I can name them only because I have seen others feel this way.
“I think our poor Jane had quite a shock finding you staring at her.” He winks.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to shock her.” I apologise then realize I’m apologizing to the wrong one. I turn to go look for her but he stops me.
“Let her be for now. Come I think it will be easier for our poor Jane if I was the one that gave you the talk she was trying so hard to give you.” He walks around the den noticing the mint and nodding in approval.
I sit down and open my mind so I can understand everything he wants to tell me.
“First you have boys. And then my dear nephew there are girls.” He highlights his words with images as he explains showing me both in a way I will understand with wolf pictures and then with human ones. The human ones confuse me but understanding dawns slowly and I see that from a human point of view I had embarrassed Jane this morning as well as overstep boundaries humans had put up between female and males. Some of what he explains really makes me want to close my mind and run away but I listen and make sure to remember what he says.
The way I see it there will have to be two sets of ways we do things in my new little separate pack. When in wolf form I could be myself with Jane as long as I treated her as a sibling. When in human form I should just stay away from her but I doubted I would be able to do that so I would have to settle for keeping strictly to the things Ian said was acceptable between male and female family members and try hard not to think of her in a boy meets girl kind of way.
I won’t be able to do this without some more of the clothes fur so I ask Ian to bring me some the next time he comes by and he agrees easily. When he asks if I need anything or would like to do anything specific I almost beg him to take me back home but I stop my silly puppy fancies before they take hold and shake my head instead. We would be fine we had water and food in abundance what more could we need.
Ian leaves then with a bit of my fur and some blood wanting to go and experiment on it in his lab den. When Jane returns I am sunning outside the den and am glad to see that she is feeling better also.
“Did you understand Ian’s explanation?” She asks not looking at me.
“Yes thank you.” I assure her not wanting to ask anything in case it sends her running again.
My answer is satisfying and she comes and lays opposite me. This close in the full light of day I feel a stirring in my heart. Jane is so much smaller than me even in Werewolf form and looks so much lonelier than I had ever felt that I vow to myself to always keep her safe and never leave her alone again.