Eclipse Child

Tell me father,

Which to ask forgiveness for:

What I am, or

what I’m not?

Tell me, mother,

which should I regret?

What I became, or

what I didn’t?

-thoughts of a stray | m.a.w.

We watch from the background- the male looking at me.

The wolves were in the distance, curled up at the foot of a hill.

Resting.

He puts his head down, repeating the same stance that he had done when asked if he was an Alpha.

It takes me several seconds to finally realize that he is waiting.

Slowly, I mimic him.

He shuffles forward, almost sliding on his stomach against the rocky forest floor, as he approaches the pack.

The young wolves eagerly race forward, tackling him and biting his tail and ears in play.

I slowly, almost painfully, skim forward.

They stop in their actions, heads turned to gaze at me.

The older wolves step forward, and this time- I see the threat.

I was not something foreign.

I was one of them.

A stranger approaching their young.

Their jaws raise back, revealing threatening canines that would attack if provoked.

I feel my own hackles rise in defense to their actions.

But the male steps in-between.

He turns to me, and slowly steps over my crouched body- placing his front paws on either side of my head as he stands over me.

The others approach until they are leaning in, cautiously sniffing me.

I slowly rise, feeling the male press against my side as he rubs his scent into me.

She’s with me.

I can almost hear the words coming from his wolf.

I stay still, not daring to move as they circle around us.

Smelling. Watching. Taking in the sight.

One wolf lunges, nipping against my ear and biting hard into the flesh.

I can’t stop the sharp cry of pain that leaves me.

The male does nothing.

I only feel his body tense even more besides mine.

But whatever the action meant, it seemed to have confirmed their decision.

Several sneeze, casting away my smell from their noses.

They shake out their bodies, and slowly- like the male- rub against me.

Mixing the scent of the pack into my fur.

Wolves run with the moon.

The pack rushed past the trees, falling into the crevice of the mountains as they ran in the night.

Wolves run with the moon.

It was why the packs looked so fondly up at the sky when stars shone in the darkness and the silver crescent ascended.

Flashes of stories- bits and pieces of information about the Moon and her powers- flow through my mind as half of the luminescent figure showed itself to us.

My grandmother’s words fall into place.

The Moon is not something to pray upon, Soraya. She does not hear your cries. She takes no mercy upon the weak. Only the strong will survive.

She always spoke of the Moon as if it were a living entity. As if there was something greater than us hanging above.

I never knew what to believe.

But the stories she spoke- the tales she told of her adventures when she had the Moon’s cursed blessing and traveled the world- it all seemed like a fable.

She had so much power.

I had always thought that as I gazed at my grandmother.

She had possessed so much power.

I always meant to ask her, at the end of her stories, what had made her give up such a powerful presence.

What had made her cast aside the Moon.

I feel the male brush against my side.

He had stayed with me throughout the run.

I only spare him a glance as we continue.

But we do not run for long.

The wolves are stopping again.

Wandering here and there- some still full of energy and choosing to let it out through play. Others curling up and watching the actions instead of participating.

The male softly bumps into my side, his head pushing against my right shoulder as he leads me away.

Is he going to shift?

I follow him away from the pack, my steps almost eager as I jump forward.

I’m starting to shift.

I can feel my body shaking, but before the process can even start, a sharp pain runs through my tail.

I look around to find the male biting it, his eyes wide.

He releases me and continues in the same direction.

I follow cautiously behind, irritation flowing through me as he leads me deeper in.

Then he stops.

His body gets low, falling to the ground as I copy him.

We stay like that for several minutes.

Several long minutes.

I huff in annoyance, but the male remains quiet beside me.

His ears suddenly rise to attention, leaning slightly forward as he strains his neck.

Then I see what he sees.

A small rodent.

He rises slowly, and silently stalks towards it.

I can’t look away.

Everything about him screams predator. Roars that a monster is approaching.

Even if it is just a rodent.

Even if it is just small prey.

He was dangerous.

The scent of power is overwhelming and in that second, I suddenly find myself questioning-

Is he an Alpha?

Just as soon as it happens- it’s over.

He descends, canines gleaming against the moon’s light.

I can barely even take in the scream of fear from the rodent before it is crushed in the grips of the beast’s jaws.

He turns to me, holding his prize.

I look at it, wondering if he will offer it to me.

But he doesn’t.

A low growl leaves my chest at the slight snub.

The male ignores it though.

Instead, he walks forward, continuing down the path.

I eagerly follow him- almost falling to the ground when I see that he is back to his downward position.

The excitement of the hunt was growing within me.

There was another rodent.

The creature blissfully unaware of what had happened to its kin just a few minutes ago.

I run forward, racing towards the animal.

It squeaks in fear, racing away into a small crevice within the roots of a tree.

I stop short at the foot of the trunk, my paws eagerly digging into the hole.

But I turn quickly, stirring up the loose dirt around me as I bare my teeth at the male. He releases my tail, taking a step back.

Only then do I realize my mistake.

My head falls in embarrassment at the blunder, but to my surprise, the male does nothing more but brush against my side. Before turning to walk away.

The night consists of more blunders.

I only manage to catch one rodent.

I can almost see the male’s amusement when I bring the creature back.

I drop it proudly at his feet, ignoring the fact that the animal already had a torn leg.

He looks at me, waiting.

Before he can stop me, I run to the cover of a nearby tree and shift.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

The wolf is looking wildly around, his grey eyes wide in surprise.

“Get over it,” I snap.

His movements stop.

I cross my arms, coving my chest, but obscuring everything else that he didn’t need to see, from view.

“I’m not going to eat this,” I jerk my head towards the rodent.

The wolf stares up at me.

“Shift.”

He makes no move.

“Why won’t you just shift?”

He gets up suddenly and runs down the path.

“Hey! Come back here!”

He stops short several feet away from me, hiding behind a tree- mimicking me.

I watch as he peeks his head out, inspecting me from the cover of the trunk.

Wordlessly I shift back.

I stare at the rodent.

It was just meat.

Just meat that was uncooked.

I walk forward, not even knowing where to start.

The male comes closer and nudges the body with his nose. Rolling it closer to me.

I tentatively take a bite.

Fur.

The fur stained my tongue, catching onto it, and creating an itch within my throat.

I hack, coughing against the grating feeling.

But I keep going.

I could feel the male’s eyes on me.

Almost like he was challenging me.

Waiting to see if I would pass or fail.

If I would do it, or give up.

I snarl at the rodent, a new determination rising within me.

I didn’t give up.

Little meat is found on the rodent- it’s not enough to satisfy me, and just the taste of food hitting my stomach has me hungry for more.

But the male ignores this.

Instead, he presses against my side, rubbing along with the feel of my fur.

Pushing me back down the path to where the pack was.