Eclipse Child

"People want to hear songs

with the words, they're afriad to say"

- Hilarie Burton, One Tree Hill

“Being Pregnant sucks.”

Bram makes a face at my words, blanching at my groan as I ease into the chair.

“You sound like a wolf on three legs when you walk.”

“Thank you, Bram. Your words always fill my mornings with sunshine.”

He shakes his head, chewing on his toast sadly, “why are you even here…don't you have your own house to live in now?”

“Yes. But I miss my breakfasts with you.”

“You just don’t know how to cook.”

“I do. That’s not the reason.”

Bram gives a loud sigh, “even I can smell the burnt eggs from here.”

“Don’t make me slap you.”

Bram whimpers quietly, “why would you hit a defenseless wolf?”

“Your words are better weapons than some of my warriors’ claws.”

Bram gives another long dramatic sigh, “yes, if someone comes, please just face me towards them and I will insult them away from the pack.”

I laugh, earning a small smile from him.

I hear his whispered comment about burnt eggs, causing a light smack on the back of his head.

“I’ll tell Rex.”

I gasp, “please no, not Rex.”

Bram glares in the wrong direction as he points his fork to me, “Don’t you have Alpha duties or something?”

“No, my feet hurt. Let me just rest here.”

“It’s only five months- I can’t image four more if you’re already complaining this much.”

“Bram,” my voice takes on a whining tone that is immediately shot down as he shakes his head, “go away. You’re ruining my morning. I like to be alone by myself, talking to no one.”

“Urgh,” I take the last toast, smiling as I hear his outcry a few seconds later from the doorway.

Rex wouldn’t know though. Bram seemed to be on the same wavelength as me, keeping our mornings a secret. Not a secret but…to himself. As if he was embarrassed to admit that he could raise his voice or become angry over such little things. Almost like he had an image of the moody sad wolf to maintain.

He reminded me a lot of Orion in the beginning, but the more time I spent with him, the more I realized that Bram reminded me of myself.

I see Orion in the distance. He’s never too far.

I don’t want to think about the first time- how I went through all of this before and what it was like then- or how Orion was like in contrast.

He was different now compared to that. He didn’t cling to me or insist that he stay by my side.

He gave me space. He almost seemed afraid to touch me, as if any small movement would cause me to shatter. It made me feel uncomfortable to be around him sometimes.

Maybe that was another reason why I enjoyed Bram’s company. Because we held nothing back from each other.

Five months.

I stand in the middle of the pack, the center of it all. Watching the people as they worked and talked, or just sat on their porches, observing like how I was.

Five months.

I look up to the sky, the moon nowhere in sight, but something in me having the sudden urge to pray silently-

Please let it be longer.

It’s the evening.

We are sitting on the porch, staring up at nothing. Pack members are laughing, children are playing. It’s a scene I would have never envisioned for myself if asked a year ago what I thought pack life was like. This was what the evenings were though.

Neighbors and friends, a gathering of conversation. People approaching me to tell me what they did during the day, the accomplishments they made. Children coming and shyly showing me their drawings that Orion helped them with.

The females fussing over me, making sure I ate -the males teasing Orion.

At moments like these, Orion would take my hand, and I knew we both were feeling some small hurt inside at how blissfully unaware of our pain the outside world was. But the pain was slowly becoming something bearable as the gossip circulated to what name we should choose; would the child be a male or female? Would it have Orion’s eyes?

Yes, I wanted to say, please let it look more like Orion than me.

The stabbing image of a blond haired, grey-eyed child I had envisioned long ago comes suddenly, taking my breath away, but only Orion notices the flash of terror that comes over me or the shiver of fear that can be felt in my skin.

I feel it sometimes in him.

The pack questioning and joking why he went into the woods for two days without anyone. I don’t tell them its because he needed a break. That five months meant something to us. It would always be a stepping stone that we stumbled over.

The laughter is broken. I raise my head in attention to the noise, feeling Rex quickly stand beside me.

And then the crowd before us parts as the struggle is heard.

“Alpha!”

I rise from the steps, walking down it to meet the two males. Between them, they are trying to contain something in their arms.

A boy. His screams of struggle make several of the pack members step back in fear. Others eye him curiously; this boy is nothing against the horrors they’ve seen in the world.

“Let him go.”

One of the males holding him back shakes his head, “I can’t Alpha- He said he’s here-,”

“Let me go! Bastards! All of you should go to hell!” He continues his struggle, trying to tear free from the male’s iron grip. One of the males holding him looks exasperated at his attempts.

“Oh my.”I look to my left and see Grandma staring at him curiously. Andrew is beside her, his face just as curious as hers as he leans against his crutches. He was always sticking close to Grandma since she promised to teach him about medicine.

“He doesn’t look happy,” she notes.

“No Grandma,” I said dryly, “looks a little upset to me.”

I turn back to the boy. He’s calmed down now. His eyes are full of anger. Anger that makes me stare at him openly as he calmly looks.

“It’s you.”

“Me?”

He nods his head, “you’re the Alpha of Alba Rosa.”

I laugh at the title, “No. I’m the Alpha of the Contritum pack.”

His face grows confused as he looks over the other members.

“They told me you would be here. Not that you would be the Alpha. I thought…”

“Mmmhh?”

He holds back his tongue, his eyes now taking in the stares from the other members. The hardness that was beginning to form in their thoughts as they pieced together the few words he had already spoken.

“I’m here to challenge you.”

“Challenge me for what?”

“I thought you were Alpha of the Alba Rosa.”

“But I’m not.”

“That doesn’t matter. I don’t care about the title. I’m just here to challenge you.”

His flat words catch my attention. The hold on him from the males tighten, a low growl coming deep from within their chest.

The boy looks up, an almost triumphant smile lighting up his face.

“They said you would be weak, and you are.” He can’t point to me, but I follow where his eyes go. “They said you wouldn’t be able to defend yourself. And you can’t. You can’t refuse my challenge. You have to fight me. Fight me.”

There is a long silence- a deafening ring- before I break it.

I laugh.

His face holds shock as I reach for Orion and grab his hand.

“It’s okay,” I whisper, seeing his crushed face. I take his face into my hands, feeling the roughness of his beard as I press our foreheads together, “history doesn’t repeat like this.”

I pull back and look at Rex. He comes up to my side, his hands violently shaking. He wants to shift. But I calmly put my hand on his shoulder, turning back to face the boy.

“I refuse.”

His stare becomes blank.

“You refuse?”

“I refuse your challenge.”

“But…” anger quickly replaces his thoughts again as he jerks away from his captors, “you can’t!”

He struggles, a frustrated scream leaving him as he pushes and pushes, failing to rip himself from their grip.

“You can’t refuse!”

“I can.”

“Let me fight you!”

His scream chills me. It’s a scream thirsting for blood. It’s enough to make me stop and turn back to him. I want to ask him why. Why he is so desperate. But before I can, Rex steps in front of me. And then it’s not just Rex, but another male. Then it is not a male, but two females. And another. And another. Until I watch the pack step in front of me, pushing me aside, leading me to stand behind them. A shield.

“Enough, enough!”

They glare at the boy, but their display has taken away whatever fight was in him.

We all watch as he slumps within the male’s arms. As tears fall down his face.

“I need to fight you. Why…”

I step closer, causing panic to rise in the pack.

I hold up my hand, making their words stop as I turn to the members.

“Thank you.”

They still are on edge, tensely watching as I walk closer to him. I can feel Orion pressing against my back, every step I take a shadow of his own.

“What is your name?”

“Everett.” He chokes on his own name as he lets his tears fall.

I study him, trying to fill why his presence made me so uncomfortable.

“Why did you come here?”

“Because you killed my brother.”

Something cracks within me as he whispers his words.

And then he raises his head, letting me look at his blue eyes that I already knew.

“Your brother…”

I feel Orion tense beside me.

“I did.”

I wish now that the pack would go away. That they wouldn’t be here to hear the horror that I had caused to another life. How similar I was to the packs they hated that had tossed them aside. How those packs that they despised- and their own beloved Alpha- shared a cruel connection.

“How old are you Everett?”

He glares at the usage of his name from my lips.

“Twelve.”

Twelve. I close my eyes and shiver.

Not even old enough to shift.

Yet he was here, calling for my blood.

I slowly lower myself to the ground, hearing the alarm from the others, but I hold out my hand to stop them. My hand instinctively rests on my stomach. That movement causes a flash of uncertainty to come over Everett’s face, but he moves on, his features building back with resolve.

“I’m sorry.”

He says nothing. His eyes are wide, and new tears are forming. I feel though, that these tears are different.

“I’m sorry. I know there is nothing I can say that will make it better, but…But I’m sorry.”

I feel Orion’s frame turning to stare down at me. I can sense his shock at my words.

Everett stares at me. I watch as his tears fall, and land upon the ground. Watering the earth with unneeded sorrow.

“Why did you take him?”

“It was either him or me.”

“I know.”

Everett lowers his head, his eyes closing. The males holding him seem to have tightened their grip- as if they are expecting him to lower their guard and suddenly react, but I can see that the fight is gone from him.

“I wasn’t even close to him. I barely knew him.”

I don’t ask why he is here then. It’s insensitive. That was his family. The word alone seemed to echo my own silent thoughts inside me. I looked at him and something in me understood.

“I think I’ve talked to him maybe three times in my whole life. None of them were nice conversations but…but no one cared when he was gone. No one did anything so I…”

He stops as if realizing that he was pouring his soul out for a whole pack to hear.

I ignore the watching eyes though.

“What if that was me? Would they do that to me? Would anyone care if I was gone?”

His head jerks up, startled as I whisper my words to him.

“Why is no one sad? Is the world that cruel? Can they just forget that easily?”

He stares at me with wide eyes, “exactly,” he breathes, his expression turning into relief. Pure relief. Finally, I think. Oh the wonder of someone finally being able to understand your pain.

Of being able to speak about it and be heard.

What a horrible thing, to be alone with nothing but your darkness.

“I will promise you this. When you are seventeen and able to shift- then I will fight you.”

He stares at me, his eyes reading my face. Looking for something.

“I…I didn’t want to face him,” I whisper, “If you must know, he’s not forgotten. If you worry about that then you should know that he haunts my nightmares very frequently. I will never forget your brother.”

Everett pulls back, his face smoothing over. I still see the tear stains on his face. Still see the mark of sorrow and anger and frustration in his eyes. But he nods.

“I’m going to hold you to your promise.”

“Why don’t you stay here at my pack to make sure I keep it?”

To remind me every day of what I am.

He stills, looking uneasily around at the members. Their attitude seems to have changed though. Their eyes have become softer, their bodies less guarded.

And then his eyes meet mine, and I feel my own silent thought ringing in him. Everett shrugs, “Okay. No one will notice I'm gone anyway."

I look up at the males and their uneasy face, feeling a smile curve around my lips as I say, “It’s okay. You can let him go.”