Eclipse Child

We cannot solve our problems

with the same thinking we used

when we created them

-Albert Einstein

Grandma sits over Andrew, watching his sleeping face. She doesn’t seem tired- even after sitting the whole night through with him.

She looks up as I approach, a smile coming to her face.

Softly, almost as if she doesn’t want to disturb the world around us, she takes my hand and opens it’s palms, spreading the fingers out to display the surface of skin.

She traces the small scars along my fingers. The longer ones that run up my hand.

I wanted to ask her the other day but knew I couldn’t unless it was alone. Now, lost in our peaceful moment together, I felt reluctant to break it. But slowly, I pull my hand back, letting it fall to my side to watch her face look up to register my emotions.

“Leo.”

It’s only his name, but Grandma immediately nods.

“Jay’s with him.”

It only eases the tension in me a little.

“You know…we both know that Leo…”

“Yes.”

Grandma looks away then, turning back to her patient. Andrew is completely and blissfully unaware of the world around him.

She stares at him, a smile coming to her face.

“He looks a little like Leo.”

I don’t see the resemblance. Other than the age, that seemed to be where it stopped.

But I let Grandma humor herself as she continues to stare at him.

Her eyes drift away, lost in her thoughts as she starts voicing them out loud.

“I can never understand Atl-Your father. Even with years of watching him, I still don’t really…understand him. I thought Jay was complicated but,” she laughs here, cutting off herself with her mirth. “No…”

I watch as she picks up a stand of her faded blond hair, the color closer to a grey with each passing day. She looks at it before letting it fall back to her shoulders.

“No, I never could understand him. Lexie was another thing. The girl was like an open book- she showed her thoughts very openly. I liked that about your mother when we met. Keep in mind, that’s not a good trait for a quiet person to have, but it’s still refreshing after dealing with Atlas.”

I sit in the empty chair next to Grandma, fascinated with the stories of old she was telling. I had never heard her speak so much about the past. Only small sentences here and there that left me to glean and piece it all together.

“Leo though-,” Her thoughts had concluded to their full circle as she turns back to face me. “Leo is a mixture of Atlas and Lexie…On one hand, he hides what he thinks very well but on the other…”

I match Grandma’s sad smile as she whispers, “I don’t think he wants to hide it sometimes. I think he wants you to see how sad he is. How lonely the world can be. It’s hard for Jay to watch him. It’s always been-,” she stops, shaking her head as if to reprimand herself for saying too much.

“I know Soraya. Leo can’t be Alpha for long. It’s just the nature of the pack to want a future and to have that future provided by their leader. The truth is though, he doesn’t want to be there. I think he wants to be anywhere but there…but it’s where life has put him. And don’t take it all on your shoulders Soraya.”

Grandma’s hands come up to softly squeeze my shoulders, “he had every chance to say no.”

“That’s not like Leo though.”

“I know. But the choices we make, even if done unconsciously out of our own reasoning, are still ours to keep.”

I look away from her knowing eyes, towards Andrew.

“Will he be okay?” I point to Andrew, just to let Grandma know I was changing the subject.

She leans over, taking both my hands in her own and lifting them to her lips. She looks up, smiling and nodding as she says, “He will be okay.”

The supplies come later in the week.

Alpha Theon and Sandra could not stay long. I watch as Sandra again becomes teary-eyed, her face turning red as she hugs Orion. Alpha Theon watches all this with an unreadable expression.

I walk silently to stand beside him. He doesn’t turn towards me, but I can still hear his whispered words.

“You played it well.”

I smile, “I don’t know what you mean.”

He turns just slightly to let me see the scowl on his face.

“Just this once I’ll allow it. But don’t do it again.”

We stare at one another, a silent agreement coming between us. I narrow my eyes at him, “How many are here because of you?”

He smiles at that.

“None. My pack does not entertain such cruelty. And even if we did…” his gaze turns to Sandra then, “I feel like such horrors cannot last long.”

Something in my view of him shifts as he walks away from me. His positioning in my mind changes as I watch him reach for his mate, and whisper in her ear that it’s time to go home.

And the days pass. They pass. They pass.

They bleed into one another, like a season of growth coming together to transition into what would be summer turning into fall. What would be winter turning into spring. The comparison only coming into my mind because of the subtle change. Because one day you look up at the leaves and realize it is no longer summer. You wonder when the leaves had begun to change their appearance, or when they had time to fall while you were not looking. It seems like such a sudden thing when it really it took months to get to this point.

This change only came to me for a few weeks. Only a few weeks in but it hit me one day, as Rex showed me the new additions that were being made, the supplies that were being put to use, the plants that were growing and training that was being done.

Change was small but indefinite.

And then again- Change could also be abrupt.

It could be sudden.

It could knock you off your feet and take the air from your lungs.

I jerk up when I hear the knock on the bathroom door.

“Soraya? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I just need a few minutes alone.”

I can hear Orion pausing outside the doorway, hesitating on what to do before walking away.

I put my head back between my legs, letting my tears coming silently down.

Change happened.

Whether you liked it or not.