Eclipse Child

Don’t let them use Icarus against you

when you speak of dreams that feel a million

miles from your reach

they will say, “don’t burn like he did”

but if Icarus were here he’d strap

the wings to your back with a smile,

and fly by your side.

-you cannot fly if you are unwilling to fall // l.s.

We stand a distance away from the pack house.

Orion waits beside me. He did not voice out loud or question why I was hesitating.

I look at him, conflict suddenly entering me. Should I have told him more about my family before throwing him to the fire?

It was too late now, and the information would only weigh him down. I could honestly write a story about my family- the events that had happened to the past generations and present were just too strange to ignore and think irrelevant.

“I don’t think I told you...”

Orion turns slightly to face me, grey eyes peering down through the falling curtain of his blond hair.

I push one side back behind his ear, sighing at the uneven sight.

“You should have given yourself a haircut.”

A smile twists his face as I take his chin in my hand, shaking my head and groaning from the sight. It was starting to surface in my mind just how wild Orion appeared.

“And a trim. By the Moon, why did we not trim your beard back at your parent’s house?”

He laughs softly, an amused expression filling his grey- making the color appear less hard like steal. Instead warmer. Like a cloud before a summer storm.

“I don’t think I told you that my dad’s name is Atlas. My mom’s name is Lexie.”

I rub a thumb along the rough edge of his chin before letting go. Taking a deep breath, I walk forward, feeling Orion move with me.

“Oh,” I glance at him, whispering now even though I know mom can’t hear me, “don’t comment on my mom’s hands. If you do say something...be nice.”

His eyebrows lower in confusion, but he doesn’t have time to act that way for long.

We are on the steps leading up to the door. It was nerve-wracking. I had already played out several scenarios within my mind of how Dad would act around Orion. Mom I knew, would be nice and inviting, but dad...

I hesitate again, a startling question running through me if I should knock on my own home or not. But I don’t need to think. The door swings open. Orion blocks my path of escape from Sandra’s arms and crying face.

“Soraya!” She clings onto me, hard sobs wracking into her body and vibrating into mine.

I can’t help but smile at the sight though.

“I’m back Sandra,” I softly pat her back, trying to get her off.

She pulls back and turns around, “Luna! Luna, she’s here!”

Mom emerges in the doorway then, a paint-splattered hand on her chest as she closes her eyes in relief.

“Soraya, I was so...” She doesn’t finish though and softly embraces me, lingering longer than she normally did.

“Hey mom.”

I look behind them, waiting for the arrival of dad.

Before I can ask though, mom is pulling back, her eyes round with curiosity as she takes in Orion.

“Who is this Soraya?”

I step back and smile, “This is Orion. We’re mates.”

Sandra and mom freeze.

I still with them, my chest clenching up with nerves from their reaction.

I look up at Orion and feel my eyes only widen. He has a bewildered expression on his face as he stares directly at mom’s hands.

My frantic wide-eyed look of stop it was not working. He still stared, and I felt my hands curl into fists as his mouth opened-

“What is on your hands?”

I think the only sound that can describe what came out of my mouth is that of an animal being gutted.

It penetrated the silence, making Orion look at me with an odd expression as he tried to figure out if something was wrong with me.

“It’s paint.”

My head whips to the door, captured by the sound of dad’s voice.

His angry voice.

“Do you have a problem with that?” He growls the words out. The hair on the back of my neck rises from the power that is coming from him, a challenge issuing into the air that has me rising in defense. Dad only became like this when it concerned mom.

Mom looks nervously at him, all to use to dad’s angry outbursts.

Orion doesn’t even seem to register it. Instead, he steps closer to mom.

A low warning is heard from dad.

Mom came first in his mind.

She always came first.

Not me.

Not the daughter he had not seen in three months after never saying goodbye.

A bitter taste rises to my mouth, but Orion interrupts my thoughts as he holds out his hand.

We all stare at him in confusion. Except mom. She hesitates but slowly places her hand in his. I watch as her free hand opens and closes with nervous energy.

Orion bends down to examine the hand, squinting his eyes as he took in the colors.

“...I’ve never seen paint before.”

His other hand comes up to stroke the blue and black that stain her skin. It’s almost painful to watch mom as she stands silently in front of Orion. He towered over her.

I see from the corner of my eye Dad stepping forward. He’s had enough of this male touching mom.

But Orion surprises me once again as he looks down at mom, a small smile forming on his lips, and whispers, “It suits you.”

To my disbelief, mom blushes and looks away. “Thank you,” she murmurs.

Dad pulls her back, glaring at me. For some reason, his anger is not directed at the male that had made mom turn red.

It’s on me.

“Who is this Soraya.”

“Eh...my mate...”

Orion steps back to stand beside me as he nods his head in greeting.

Sandra stands off to the side, a hand over her mouth as she takes in the family drama that I knew would happen upon my arrival.

Dad glares at Orion before looking back to me, “You finally came back.”

We narrow our eyes at each other.

“Ya, guess I did.”

He nods, his eyes falling up and down me, “you’re different...” he breaks off from his thoughts. “I need to talk to you in my office.”

“Now?” I glance back at Orion, anxious about leaving him alone. I could understand better how his parents felt.

“Now.” His word does not leave room for discussion.

“I’ll show Orion around the pack house,” mom offers.

Dad frowns at the idea but mom only raises her eyebrows at him, before walking inside with Sandra.

Orion looks at me before following silently behind them.

I feel a sudden restlessness with him out of my sight. Like I had lost an arm from my body. I felt detached.

Dad turns away, leading me up the stairs and into his office.

I look at the desk and two chairs that face on either side. He sits down, his eyebrows rising as he motions toward the seat opposite him.

I still at the sight, a nauseous wave coming over me as I take it in.

“Soraya?” I can detect small concern in his voice. It’s not enough to make me sit down though.

I move towards the window, leaning against the frame and crossing my arms to face Dad.

“What did you want to talk about?

He stares at me for a few seconds before sighing and picking up a note slip on his desk.

“You were accepted into the Training camp.”

“What?”

I push off the window, my attention captured from his words.

Dad doesn’t look happy about the news.

“It was a week after you left. General Flint called and said your interview went well. He accepted you into their training. I can call them and tell them to expect you tomorrow. Your mate can...stay here...”

“No.”

“I’m sure the first time was a-,”

He stops suddenly, his eyes staring blankly at my feet before flicking up. “No?”

“I’m not going.”

There is a deadly silence. It fills the room. I can almost see the image of it choking me down, pushing me into suffocation as I watch Dad slowly rise from his seat.

His voice is soft, but the effect it has, makes me shiver against the cold anger that leaks through each word. “You try so hard to get in. And then you do get in. And now that you have a mate. You won’t go.”

“It’s not because-,”

“Soraya. If you want to be Alpha you cannot put your-,”

He stops, and my eyes widen in disbelief when I come to my own understanding of what he is trying to say.

“I what? Can’t put my mate before the pack?”

His fists are curled upon the desk, head bowed. I can tell Dad is trying so hard to keep his anger at bay. Mom was the only one who could ease it. She was the only one who could make him smile.

Everyone else was nothing.

“But you do that every day,” I point out.

“Soraya, you don’t know anything about your mom and-,”

“You put her before the pack every day. Every decision you make, every action you take, every word you say- you always consider what she will think and how it will affect her.”

“Your mom-,”

“I’m not finished,” I growl. I don’t know what greeting I was expecting from him. Ever since I was young, Dad had always been awkward around me. It only grew with my age.

He stares at me, those blue eyes a mirror image of my own. I take a breath to steady myself. I should tell him what happened in that office. On that day. Why I really didn’t want to go to that camp.

But was that weak?

To let the actions of someone determine what I did? And to tell dad, the person I was trying to beat...The person I was trying to look strong in front of.

It seemed no matter what I did, I still had that hackling sensation that General Flint came out the winner. I went, then he had me. He had tempted me with his offer. I didn’t go though, and he would know that I had given into his actions. I had caved into the power of his presence and how just a few minutes within his office had made me feel so incapable.

“I...I’m not going. I went to the Mountains. I trained there. As much as you think I messed around, I didn’t. I met my mate, but I did not let it distract me from what I have always wanted. Orion is not...”

I struggle to find a word. Camilla’s definition rang through my mind, but I pushed it away.

“Orion will not be my weakness.”

Dad still has his fist curled in anger.

I sigh and lean back against the window, looking out at it.

I stop short and try to figure out what I was seeing from the view.

Mom had set up an easel upon the edge of the backyard. She was painting now upon a blank canvas. And Orion sat next to her, his wolf looking up to take in whatever she was saying.

“Soraya, are you listening to me?”

“What?”

I tear my eyes away from the sight to see the disappointment in Dad’s eyes.

“Never mind.”

We stand there in silence until I break it, “Can I go now?”

He nods, a tired look coming over his face as he sits back down.

“Leo is at the clinic?”

Dad runs his hand through his hair, nodding at my question, “Where else?”

I ignore his own question and walk towards the door.

“Soraya...”

I turn to look at him. He has a...almost remorseful expression on his face.

“It’s...I’m glad...Welcome back.”

I don’t answer him. I don’t know how to respond. So instead I only nod and open the door to let myself out.