novelxo Chapter 34: Secret Garden
“Just you and me
Within these walls
But when we go outside
You’re gonna wake up and see that it was hopeless after all”—rewrite the stars
Darlene led Baellnar and Alyenna out of the tavern and into a small garden hidden in the back of the inn. Miraculously untouched by the carnage from earlier. It boasted a simple fountain and marble bench hidden by a trellis covered in creeping vines. Thick gardenia bushes that filled the air with a fresh and lively scent. Baellnar handed her the tankard. “Drink.” She took a swig and felt fire run down her throat and she started to cough. “Good, now again.” She took another sip this one went down easier. She felt the effects of the potent amber liquid almost instantly.
Alyenna felt weak. She was not sure she would ever get used to the sight of death. A feeling that made her feel horribly inadequate. How could she save the world when a woman who lost her whole family in one day had more control over her emotions than Aly did. “How do they do it?” She asked stroking the soft petals of a delicate white flower.
“Do what?” He asked softly. He had sat down on the bench and pulled out a tiny string instrument. He stroked it gently and secretly she envied the instrument in his hands.
“How do they handle death so well?” She focused hard on the delicate petals in her hand, she took several deep breaths and another swig of her tankard. She was alarmed and grateful to see that she had taken in about half of the metal cannister. The warming sensation made her feel fuzzy and bold.
“They grew up with it. We all did, even me.” He started to stroke the chords of his instrument. The sound gently tickled the air around her. A warm breeze laced its way through the bushes, and the leaves made their own accompaniment to the song.
Her heart burned. How could she be so insensitive? He was one of them. He was hundreds of years old, and he never seemed broken or tortured by their journey. He always kept pushing them forward. He was their real leader. “Why not you?”
“Hmm?” He said enveloped in a musician’s trance.
“Why are you not leading them? You are smart strong and brave and know how to survive this world. Why are you not the hero they crave?” Her hands were shaking so she took another drink trying to calm her own nerves.
He never stopped playing. “I am a hero in a way I guess, but I am not the one meant for the history books. Every leader has advisors who are invaluable to them. No one can save the world by themselves. Think of me as an advisor.”
“I think of you as much more than that.” Alyenna said bravely pulling her eyes away from the flower. Allowing herself to see Baellnar nestled on the marble bench, a glowing web of music interlaced around him.
Again he never looked up from his instrument. “I am glad.” A gentle smile tugged at his soft pink lips.
Alyenna came closer to him. The burning feeling in her stomach driving her through her own emotional wall. She had to push forward she had to know. “How do you see me?”
He smiled his fingers worked faster now. He took a deep swig of his own beverage and the musical web began to flicker and dance. The glowing waves of melody wound around Alyenna. Her skin warmed to the sensation of the magic’s caress. It was almost as if he was touching her, yet he never looked up. “I see someone who has gone through more than anyone ever should, I see a friend and an ally.” The music continued to wind around her. Wrapping around her legs and her neck. She felt a gentle prickle of her hair standing on end. The wind around her pushed her closer ever so gently. Her heart was thundering in her chest. Fear and ambition were warring within her. She felt as if she might explode with anxiety and excitement.
The music was pulsing around her sending chills down her spine. To ease her nerves she took another sip. The tankard was almost empty. She bit her lip enjoying a warm sensation that coursed through her veins as even her toes curled. She edged closer driven by the music and the ale. Her walls were crumbling. She needed to know.
“Is that all?” She asked her voice trembling.
“Is that not enough?” He answered her.
“No, Baellnar. No, it is not enough.” She crossed the path and sat next to him on the bench. “Please tell me I am not alone in this feeling.”
He was trembling. His fingers were racing across the instrument. The air was twinkling with the veiled light of the music. It encased them in an ethereal globe of song. “We must both remain alone in this felling Alyenna. I am sorry.” His voice was shaking, she could hear the pain in it. She was not satisfied with his answer.
“In everything else, we win as a team, why must we remain alone in this moment? I know I am not alone. I care for you Baellnar, in a way I never knew possible.”
“It is in this that she can control us Aly. It is in this that she wins. It is how Cameron and I lost Eleanor. I will not allow it to take you too. I learned from their mistake. There can be nothing more between us Aly.” His voice was tight and pained. It was breaking her, and she could tell it was breaking him.
“That cannot be it!” She whispered. Her heart was breaking. “Why must you push me away?”
“Aly please!” She swore she saw a tear in his eye. She could not believe this. She would not believe it. So she went for it. She turned his face to hers. She would not allow another moment to pass. She had to know. The fire burned within her and she had to know. So she kissed him, as her lips met his she pressed into him. Daring him to pull away.
He resisted at first, but only for an instant. His hand gently cupped her chin and his other interlaced itself into her hair. She parted her lips allowing the kiss to deepen. Welcoming his warmth. The music around them grew wild taking on a life of its own. The beads of light and the warm wind gently pushed her into him and the kiss continued to deepen. She lost all control. She could feel fire warming her toes and it gently crept up her legs and then overtook her entire body.
She pulled him to her and gripped tightly to his shirt. Her fingers testing the density of his muscles. Enjoying their firm resistance. The kiss was overwhelming. He dipped her and pushed her down onto the cool marble bench. His hands hungered for her and gripped tightly at her shirt. She moaned out his name and pulled him to her.
Then the feeling vanished.The warmth was gone and so was Baellnar. She looked around and Baellnar stood away from her his eyes wide. “I am so sorry,” he said and then he vanished into the inn leaving her alone in the garden cradling an intense hunger that she knew would not go quietly into that dark night. She had her answer. Baellnar was well and truly hers and she his. Whether or not he was ready.