Down End Road

Everything turned white before I was back in the classroom, with Maverick talking in my face and poking my shoulder with a pencil, Alex stood a good distance behind him. Far away from me, I noted with a growing sense of gloom.

I whipped my head around and studied the empty classroom. The room was still set up with rows of pew like bleachers with a line of desks in front of me. Not a single slab of obsidian, nor was there an indistinct glow emitted from any surfaces.

Light filtered in from a ceiling length window. The orange sunlight filtered through the sheer, partially drawn drapes. It turned Alex’s skin into one of liquid gold and his eyes turned almost hazel in the afternoon sunlight. My hand was numbly fiddling with my medallion.

Maverick stared at me in curiosity, before he let loose an amused space chuckle. “Come on major tom. Let’s get you some food.” Maverick teased.

I nodded up at him, my eyes dazed and body jelly-like. Ally wasn’t in that class. Only Maverick and Alex. A tall, lanky boy named Tom knelt on the ground outside the door, hurriedly picking up the fallen papers and stationary.

I knelt down beside him and began to help. His dark brown eyes met mine and his wide thin lips cracked into a grateful grin. He had light brown curly hair with caramel skin. We had been paired together for a few discussions and he had told me that his mother was Spanish and his father was an all-American.

He had always talked to me after that. Always eager to help me adjust or fill in the gaps of my knowledge. He was a good friend, and one that Alex seemed to despise. Anytime we were talking or sat next to each other he would always find a way to butt into our conversations.

Although, that had been happening less and less these past two days. As I managed faint smiles at Tom’s horrendous jokes, Alex only scowled. I could tell it was all he could do to not rip me out of Tom’s arms when he gave me a ‘thank-you hug’.

Our shoes slapping against the wooden floors was the only sound as we walked down the eerily silent halls of End Road Manor. The crackle of electricity between us was only noticed by the two of us. Beside me, Maverick strolled in complete ignorant bliss.

The tension only seemed to thicken when Alex took a minuscule step away from me. I felt my heart bang on it’s bone cage as the raging hurt set in.

Even my veins stiffened when Alex sucked in a large rigid breath. The space between me and Alex, every centimetre, killed me. My throat was thick and my tongue was heavy with unspoken words and a lengthy lecture on broken promises. We had agreed to be friends. We had agreed to be nice to each other.

Alex being cold and stony toward me was not new. So why did it affect me so much more that time? Maybe the hope of a, dare I say, loving relationship -platonic or otherwise- between us being crushed, was what hurt me so much.

I hated it when people broke their promises. I would be able to scream about it for hours if I could. But with Alex it was different. He hadn’t just broken a promise, he had broken a part of me that hoped. He had crushed my hope. And that was so much worse.

I didn’t want to cry or scream or laugh or rage until I was numb. I wanted to do all of that while still in Alex’s arms. I wanted to cry about the space between us. Scream at him to never break his promises. Laugh at how this always seemed to happen. Rage about how my life was slowly falling apart.

Alex, sensing my impending meltdown, made an excuse to Maverick about me having to pack. Which wasn’t a complete lie because I had to pack for the order of Washington field trip.

We veered off down the girls dorms, which were peculiarly empty. Alex guided me into my room, where tears threatened to spill from my flooded eyes, and shut the door with a quiet click.

“Have you packed?” He asked calmly. His calmness made me angry. The needy part of me, the part that longed for Alex to be with me all the time, was enraged and depressed.

I glared at him with all my might and retorted, “I don’t know, you tell me seeing as you brought me here.” I sat with my arms folded across my chest and my back ram rod straight. I was being stubborn and needed to pack seeing as the trip was in one day.

There had been an assembly on Monday evening, it described the trip details which all enrolled students had received the details of earlier in the year. However, since I was a spontaneous enrollee, I was just hearing about the trip. We were travelling and arriving Friday. Having the games on Saturday. A ball was hosted on Sunday. And then we would be travelling back to McBurr, Florida Monday.

I had called my parents and informed them of all the details. My mother had been ecstatic about me travelling whilst my father just wanted to know if the rooms were co-ed. After an hour and a half of assurances and promises of pictures and details, I had hung up with the promise to call when I was leaving and when I got there.

Alex groaned in frustration then marched over to my chest of drawers and closet. He made a show of showing me each item of apparel. We had successfully packed me five shirts (one spare) two sets of pajamas, a pair of jeans, a pair of yoga pants, and shoes.

He glided his hands over to my top drawer. The drawer containing all of my underwear. A blush formed on my face as I immediately stood up and ran to him and slapped away his hand, shutting the drawer fully closed.

I stood as a barrier between him and the drawer, my tan face beet red with embarrassment. Alex lifted a brow and narrowed his eyes at me with suspicion. “What’s in the drawer Myra.” Alex challenged.

My mind, still mortified of Alex accidentally seeing my unmentionables in front of me, seared my brain. Too embarrassed to tell him the truth I nervously brushed him off. “N-nothing of i-impo-importance.” My speech was stuttered and my hands were becoming clammy as they gripped the knobs of the drawer.

“Whats. In. The. Drawer. Myra.” Alex spoke in a stern, calm, quiet voice. I shook my head at him. I felt his strong hands grip my hips before he sun me around so that I was behind him and he swiftly opened the drawer. I let out a horrified gasp at the sight of colorful lace and cotton underwear and bra’s all on display. I raced in front of him and closed the drawer shut again.

I gulped before I faced him, in utter shame, again. That was embarrassing. I was surprised when I saw his dark skin blushing. His face was a dark shade of scarlet and his eyes were wide. I saw him gulp before he forced out a response. “Oh, right. Didn’t think of that.” He muttered.

I felt my eyes harden as I mumbled, “you do a lot of things without thinking.” His eyes sparked with clarity, whilst his face feigned a look of question.

"How would you know." He challenged. I had the sudden epiphany right then and there, that he was pushing me away. He was challenging whether or not I actually knew him. Whether this was to prove to me or himself that he didn't need me I didn't know.

"Why are you pushing me away?" I redirected the conversation to a more relevant topic. "Why do you always push me away?" I whispered. I felt tears prick my blue eyes, and I knew then and there, that if it involved Alex, I could cry an ocean out of my ocean blue eyes.

I resisted the urge for my lips to quiver and blinked back the searing hot tears that drowned my eyes. "Because I don't want to get hurt." He stated, his usual strong tone cracked mildly.

I stepped towards him each step made my heart tighten but gave my lungs a breath of air. I swept his hands up in my own and entangled our fingers. He didn't flinch and I basked in the presence of the butterflies in my stomach.

"I promise I won't intentionally hurt you." I promised again. He shook his head and dismissed it, in contrast his hands tightened around my own.

"You already did."