Don't Tell Ellie

Benjamin is standing at the passenger door of his car, he’s got it open and he’s waiting patiently as I stare straight ahead out of the windshield like an insolent child.

“You need to sleep.” He says coaxing me from the car.

We’re double-parked on 3rd Street in front of Vivienne’s psychic shop. There’s a taxi cab behind us and the driver is leaning on his horn while yelling expletives from his window.

Benjamin leans down into the car, “Excuse me a moment.” He says before standing up and adjusting the rolled cuff of his grey button-up shirt. I watch him in the side view mirror as he strides toward the yellow cab. He makes his way around the driver’s side and the cab door pops slightly open. Of fuck. This guy is about to start a fight with the wrong person.

Without missing a beat, Benjamin grabs the driver’s door and slams it back into place. He leans in as if to whisper something in the man’s ear but I can’t see his lips moving. The cabbie is a young middle eastern guy, maybe thirty or so, but as Benjamin stands there half inside the cab’s window I can see the man’s face age twenty years.

Benjamin stands and backs away from the car. As the cabbie opens the door again a chorus of horns blare from behind them while they block traffic, but neither of them seems to mind. Benjamin waits by the cab as the driver sulks over to me, I stiffen.

The cab driver comes around to my door, his face downcast, “I...I’m sorry miss.” He says sincerely, “My behavior was rude and I beg your forgiveness.” He reminds me of a bad kid who’s been forced to apologize, gazing down at his shoes embarrassed.

I want to laugh, New Yorkers don’t apologize. “It’s okay, man. Just don’t be a dick.”

He nods and returns to his cab where Benjamin pats him on the shoulder and watches as he navigates his cab around the right side of the Lincoln. The stream of cars they’ve held up do the same without a single glance in Benjamin’s direction.

He’s back, standing on my side of the car and gazing down at me amused. “The sun is just about up,” he says.

“So? Are you gonna turn to dust or something?”

Benjamin laughs. “Not a vampire.” He crouches down so that he’s level with me and places his hand on mine, “I’ll take you home if you would rather be there.”

“No.”

“I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what you want, Eleanore.”

“I thought you knew everything,” I say with an air of annoyance.

“I’m not omniscient.” His eyes search my face, and I have a strong urge to throw myself into his arms, “I know paths—choices people will make, errors that guide them to me, but I don’t know what someone is thinking. Unfortunately...” he stalls, confused, probably wondering how much information he should give me. “Unfortunately, because your timeline has been broken I cannot foresee your future nor demise.”

I smirk. I’m a mystery to him. “Take me back with you.”

“That’s not a good idea.”

“Well, that’s what I want.”

He removes his hand from mine and closes the car door. When he’s back in the driver’s seat he looks at me. “To answer your question. Yes, death can fall in love... at a price.”

I’m covering my mouth in an attempt to hide my smile. Death’s got a thing for me. How fucked up is that?

“What did you say to that cabbie?” I ask as he drives us back to his penthouse.

“Just that he should apologize.”

“That’s all? Then why did he act like you’d just threatened to murder his entire family.”

Benjamin’s nostrils flare and he clears his throat. “I showed him his death. I wanted him to see what kind of trouble his words can get him in to.”

“Holy shit.” I gasp, “That’s fucking heavy.”

“It was a lie. But, at least now, he’ll learn to silence that nasty mouth of his.”

I shift, turning myself in Benjamin’s direction, “So you can give people false visions?”

“I can.”

“Give me one.”

“Absolutely not, Eleanore.”

“Oh, come on, I want to see how it feels.”

“You are incorrigible.”

“Then teach me a lesson,” I say silkily.

Benjamin turns to me, his eyes no longer on the road, that darkness is back, rippling in his eyes like the midnight waves of an ocean, I wonder if I should have kept my mouth shut, but then a feeling so serene washes over me a small moan escapes my lips.

I’m in his living room, my body pressed into the white cushions of his chase under the weight of his body. His knee is between my legs, sliding gently back and forth. One hand cups my breast and the other grips a handful of my hair, his breath brushes my lips, and his tongue follows, lazily dragging the shape of my mouth.

“Tell me you want me.” His words caress me and I have never wanted someone so bad in my life.

My hands reach out to grab him, to pull him closer but he pins them above my head, he’s looking down at me through hooded eyelids heavy with need.

His lips glide across my neck until they find my ear and he whispers again, “Tell me you want me.”

I push against his restraint, using all the strength I have to break free and touch him, and just as I think I’m winning the fight my fist slams into the dashboard of his car.

Benjamin is chuckling a closed mouth devious laugh as I brush my hair away from my face and shake my head. “You evil asshole!”

“You asked for it.”

“Well, I didn’t mean...”

“Didn’t you?” The corner of his mouth twitches.

I’m glad his eyes are back on the road because I’m certain my face is scarlet, I can feel my heart still trying to slow from the excitement of what I’ve just experienced.

I’m searching my mind to find something to say so that this moment doesn’t become awkward. But the need to throw myself on top of him and kiss him is still potent.

“Why did you save me and how? You said that your family is cursed, are you all death?”

“Slow down. One at a time.” He holds a single finger up. “To start, death is more of an essence, it would be better to say that we are harbingers. We don’t directly cause a person’s demise, we try not to interfere unless needed. We keep timelines in check and make sure people are guided to the afterlife in accordance with their fate.”

“So, then you are the Grim Reaper?”

“There is no Grim Reaper, that’s folklore.”

“Oh,” I say and my voice is slightly disappointed.

“Humans like to associate good or bad experiences with supernatural entities, good luck, miracles, curses, death. Some of what you believe is true, others embellished—like the Grim Reaper or Angel of Death. We have just been given a job, and yes we are all harbingers at the same time.”

A low melody is playing somewhere in the car and I realize it’s coming from my purse. I unzip it and find my cell, there’s a text message from Vivienne.

Please call me.

I toss my phone back in my purse before Benjamin can see what it and lean back into my seat. The sun has completely risen and the pedestrian traffic is steadily climbing as we turn on to Astor Place. Benjamin stops in front of his building and unlocks the car doors. “Wait for me in front, I’ve got to park.”

I hop out and walk to the sidewalk, as soon as his car has turned the corner I yank my cell back out of my purse. Vivienne answers on the first ring.

“Where are you?” She breaths desperately into the phone.

“You lied to me.”

“No, El. Well, yes, but you don’t understand. I can explain everything, just give me the chance.”

“Fuck you, Viv, I trusted you!”

I slam my thumb onto the end button fighting tears. She owed me an explanation years ago, and now she wants to explain? Fuck her.

“Everything alright?” Benjamin says from behind me and I can only imagine how tense I look gnawing at my fingernails.

“Yeah, let’s go up.”

He slides a hand around my waist like the first night we met and my breath catches in my throat all over again.

“I have a spare bedroom, it’s nothing spectacular but it’ll do for sleep.”

Even though I’m feeling this newly discovered safety around Benjamin, as if I’ve known him my entire life, I remind myself that he doesn’t know me at all. He doesn’t know that I could sleep on a bare floor, and sometimes even had to in overcrowded foster homes, so anything above the floor is a luxury.

“Are you hungry?” He asks when we’ve entered the penthouse.

Definitely. But my hunger isn’t going to be satiated by food.

“I think I want to lay down.”

Benjamin leads me down the tiled hall until we arrive at a small door across from the bathroom. He pushes the door open and the inside of the room is practically bare except for a queen-size bed and a small wooden desk.

“I told you it wasn’t much.” He shrugs.

“It’s fine,” I say moving in and ungracefully flinging myself across the bed.

“If you need me, I’ll be in the living room.” He says and before I can reply I hear the door close. Dammit. The memories of the vision he gave me swirl through my head, but I know right now I need sleep more than I want sex.

When I wake up the sun is gone and the room is tinted blue by the stream of moonlight pouring in through the windows. I roll on my back and stare up at the ceiling to find that it’s painted in elaborate golden and green flowers, interconnecting and spiraling around each other. I wonder if his interior decorator is an elderly woman.

“But, I want to!” I bolt upright, trying to figure out what I’ve just heard. It’s a tiny voice, a little boy or girl I can’t be sure.

“Please, Michael, not right now. Soon, I promise.” Benjamin’s voice is hushed but tender, and my heart starts pounding. What the fuck is a kid doing here?

I slide off the bed quietly and tip-top to the door, cracking it open I peer out from the room and see Benjamin standing in the hall about three doors down. In front of him is a small raven-haired boy, he only reaches Benjamin’s navel and he’s staring up at him, his arms crossed over his chest.

“You promised yesterday!” He whines.

“Enough,” Benjamin places his hands on the boy’s shoulders and whirls him around to face the open double doors behind him.

Before I can stop myself, I slide out from behind the bedroom door and unconsciously walk toward the two. Benjamin hears me and his body goes rigid, he pushes the boy toward the door and turns to me.

“Give me a second, would you?” He looks unnerved.

“Who is that?” Just go back into the room and shut the hell up, Ellie, don’t you have enough to worry about?

“The boy's head peeks out from the doorway and his eyes are big round replicas of Benjamin’s. Holy shit, Benjamin must have a son. I don’t know why I never thought about it, he said each firstborn male inherits his curse, of course, he’d have to have an heir.

I open my mouth to ask but before I can the little boy Benjamin called Michael darts out of the room and he’s aiming right for me.Shit.What if he’s already a little harbinger, what if he touches me and I die or he says something I don’t want to know...wait. Benjamin said these doors all lead to loops in my own life. I stare at the boy, look his face over furiously as he bounds down the hall with a smile so large it’s making my face hurt, but I don’t know him.

He collides into me, his arms tighten around my waist and I hold my breath. It’s clear he knows me, but how? I look down at him, his chin is digging into my stomach as he beams up at me, “H..hello...” I say, hoping that being this close to him might jog my memory. His response makes my blood run cold.

“Hi, Mommy!”