Don't Tell Ellie

I’ve never been uncomfortable in Vivienne’s presence, but today I am. I’m bitting my nails—an old bad habit and fidgeting. “How do you know he’s coming for me?”

“A long time ago,” Vivienne begins, moving to the edge of her seat, “when your mother and I were sophomores in college, we went to a festival. It was a stupid spiritual thing, fake psychics, fortune tellers, Wiccans. They were telling futures and selling potions. We were stupid and thought it was all so much fun.”

I’m watching her closely, each word perfectly annunciated and dripping with regret.

“It was an uneventful night, we had our cards read and bought some potions, one for love, one for wealth. You know, the regular bullshit kids think is important.” She stops speaking suddenly and stands, “do you want some tea? I think we need tea.”

“Fuck the tea, Viv.”

“No, it’ll do us some good.”

She leaves me sitting in her living room as she clatters around in the kitchen. Finally, she’s back and she hands me a gigantic mug that I need two hands to hold.

“Peach Green Tea, it’s delicious. Do you have a cigarette?”

I set my mug down next to me and dig out my forgotten pack of Marlboro Reds. I hand her one and place one in my mouth.

“Perfect.” She says with a shiver, “So where were we?”

“Your night was uneventful,” I say, trying to filter my annoyance.

“Right!” She nods sipping her tea, “so we left. We were walking back to our dorm laughing at the stupidity of the night when he stopped us.” She takes a long drag off her cigarette and holds her breath as if she’s smoking a joint. Smoke streams out of her nose and mouth as she exhales dramatically.

“It’s odd to me that you’re taking so long to explain this story when you’ve just told me some psychopath is after me. What’s the deal?” I’m on cigarette number two and my mug of tea is empty, Viv is still nursing her tea which is definitely cold by now and looking everywhere but at me. “Vivienne!”

“I’m sorry,” She sniffs. “I just miss your mother, honey. She was my best friend and I-” she shakes her head in an attempt to dissipate the blood in her cheeks that’s turned them crimson. “He was wearing a blue suit, royal blue. I remember because at first, I thought it was black, but in the light of the street lamps, it shimmered in the prettiest blue hue I’d ever seen. His face was kind and he was a well dressed older man so we didn’t think anything was strange about him until he started talking.”

Vivienne stands and her eyes close as if she’s diving back into the memory. “Angela Howard, he’d said. He addressed your mother by her full name it was really eery and you know your mother, all bark no bite. She glared at him, eat shit old man, she’d said and god, we fucking laughed. Witness me, Vivienne Harris, he’d said and I was sure the guy was just a bored professor from the college who had seen us at the festival and wanted to fuck with us. But then he said: your second seed will bring about destruction and I will return to stamp it out. When twelve years have passed I will reclaim what is mine. And then out of thin air, he was gone.” Vivienne’s eyes pop open and set on me.

My mouth is hanging open. “What the fuck does any of that mean?”

“For years we’d talk about it, joking, laughing, it was a highlight of our college career, the nut job who said your mother's kid was going to end the world, but then when she was pregnant with you he showed up. He knocked on your mother's door on a Sunday afternoon in the middle of a summer heatwave. I was there. Your father was working a double at the hospital and I came to help your mother with Marlow and the house. He said his name was Wes Marston and that his family owned the house across the street. They went upstairs to talk and when she came back down she was a wreck.”

“He wanted me because I’m supposed to what? End the world?”

“I didn’t know what he thought, but the next day there was a young guy across the street, he was ordering some landscapers around, you know how rich people are. This bush isn’t trim enough, and you left behind a leaf.” Viv rolls her eyes. “I decided I was going to have a word with the Marston’s and I marched over to him.” Vivienne rounds her shoulders and sticks a finger in my direction like she’s about to tell me off. “Tell your fucking father to stay the hell away from my family or so help me, god-” she relaxes and widens her eyes. “He smiled. The sexiest god damn smile I’d ever seen too. He put his hand on my shoulder, I can only assume it was to try and calm me down, but when he did it was like a tornado had ripped through my brain. I felt weightless, images were swirling around us. I saw your face, as it is now, you weren’t even born yet, but I knew it was you.” Tears are spilling onto her cheeks. “The man in front of me, he was with you, holding you. I felt the most intense feeling of love I’d ever felt in my life.” Viv’s voice cracks off in a low whimper.

“It was Benjamin,” I say with certainty and Viv nods down at me.

“When it was all over I knew he’d seen it too, I could barely speak after but I knew he was on my side. It turns out old Wes is the head of his clan—so to speak. He’s like their creator. And we knew he needed to be stopped. So over the next few weeks, we devised a plan. When you turned seven I’d hide you, take you away only for a little while. Benjamin taught me how to place a ward of protection on you, he couldn’t do it himself, just like your family couldn’t know or, he—Wes would find out. So when the time came Benjamin provided me with the power to do it, and I lured you to the Victorian house.”

“I always thought I saw my mother in the window.” I say, “It was you?”

“Yes.” She takes a seat again and lifts her empty mug to her lips before placing it back on the ground and pointing at my pack of cigarettes. When she lights it, she continues. “I took you home with me, back to Manhattan for three weeks. That’s how long Benjamin said you would need to remain asleep for the wards to take hold.”

“What exactly do these wards do?”

“They protect you from death.” She says matter-of-factly.

I scoff. That explains so many of the near-death experiences I’ve had. Death has always felt so near to me, like an old friend that could never touch me. I hate to admit it to myself, but at times I may have gotten a little cocky, snorting that extra line of cocaine or drunkenly running through a busy city street. If only I’d known I was untouchable, oh, the shit I would have gotten myself in to.

“But you see, the problem was, Wes was angrier than a bare-assed rooster.”

I arch an eyebrow at the image. Is that a thing?

“When he came looking for you five months later and there was no trace, no scent, no hint to follow, he lost it. He killed your entire family all because he couldn’t find you, sleeping right there under his nose. You were lost to him.”

Rage courses through me. All this time I thought it was a simple accident. A gas leak. No one to blame, no one to loose my anger on, but now there’s someone to blame. “So how does he know where I am now? How the hell is he going to find me?”

“The wards were set for twenty years. Tomorrow is July 8th, the day you went missing. They break at midnight and Wes knows it.”

“Well it doesn’t matter anyway Viv, I’m going back.” Who cares if he can find me now, I’ll be dead long before midnight.

“Dammit, Eleanore, that’s exactly what he wants. That beautiful penthouse is Benjamin’s punishment. He can’t be away from it for very long, it’s Wes’ little game. Benjamin has access to you, at all stages of your life through those fucking doors. But, you always die and he can’t save you. He’s doomed to repeat it all over and over again, to watch you slip through his fingers. To watch hope light up in your eyes when you believe you can actually do something to save your family.”

My stomach twists and I think I’m going to be sick. The thought of Benjamin having to fight for me forever, fuels my rage. I am a war he will never win.

“So, can’t we just place the wards again?”

“Haven’t you been listening?” Vivienne says exasperated. “Benjamin gave me the power to do it, he was stripped of the ability. And, even if he wasn’t, it takes three weeks! We have nothing.”

There’s a rattling sound from the metal door that leads into Vivienne’s shop and I jump, sliding off the cushion I’m sitting on and slamming into the ground. “Ow!”

Vivienne jolts up from her seat and freezes as the door continues to rattle. “What time is it?!”

I snatch my purse and turn it upside down, dumping its contents onto the floor. I see my phone and snatch it up, jamming my finger on the home button until the screen lights up. “Shit! Its 9 p.m already.”

Vivienne lets out a sigh of relief and walks to the door. “Shops closed, idiot!” She shouts inches from the door.

“Open up.” His voice is demanding and my heart skips. Benjamin.

Vivienne pulls the door inward and when I see his face I can’t stop myself from getting up and running to him. His arms are waiting for me and I sink into him. “I’m sorry.”

He kisses the top of my head and holds me closer, “Don’t be. It was my decision and you are always my choice.”

Vivienne is whimpering off to the side of us, a soft motherly happiness spilling out of her as she watches us.

“We have three hours,” Benjamin says and I can tell it’s taking everything he has to remain calm.

“Well, do you have a plan?” Viv asks her cheeks still sprinkled with tears.

“I do,” Benjamin smirks. “This time, we’re going to beat him at his own game.”

Vivienne is having a severe case of road rage as we inch our way down the traffic-jammed city streets in Benjamin’s Lincoln on the way to his penthouse.

“Your mother should’ve aborted you!” She screams as a black SUV narrowly misses the front of our car.

Benjamin catches my eyes as she continues shrieking in the back seat and I know exactly what he’s thinking. “No visions,” I say trying not to laugh.

“Suit yourself.” He shrugs and returns his eyes to the road.

“So, how exactly are we going to beat Wes?” I ask staring at this digital clock on Benjamin’s dashboard, it’s already 10 p.m.

“The study,” Benjamin says as if it’s obvious.

“Oh, yes, of course. Colonel Mustard in the study,” I say with a very deliberate eye roll. “With the candlestick.”

“Whose Colonel Mustard?” Benjamin asks and I can’t stop my giggle. “Anyway, the door opens tonight and I cannot contact myself in a previous timeline, I’ve tried. But you can. I need you to bring the version of myself back through the door that has the power to fight Wes.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to find you?”

“I was there.” Benjamin says in a low voice, “In the foyer. I was the one-”

“That knocked me out?!” I shout.

“That makes it sounds very barbaric, Eleanore. As I recall it was quite gentle.”

“Whatever, and what am I supposed to tell you when I see you?”

“You’ll know what to say. I’ll send you through the door when it opens at midnight. Wait in the foyer until the younger version of yourself is safely asleep—this is very important. If I never render you unconscious, the wards will never be placed.”

I nod. “And then?”

“Bring me through the door.”

“Hold on,” Vivienne says from the backseat. “What happens to the version of you in this time?”

“I’m not certain,” Benjamin admits.

“What do you mean? What if it doesn’t work? What if both versions of you disappear or die?” I ask frantically.

“That’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

I want to tell him to forget it. Fuck it, just let Wes take me, but then I remember that if we fail Benjamin has to do this all over again, and it may never end. I reach out and touch his hand. “Okay.”

“I can’t motherfucking believe it took us an hour and a half to get here.” Vivienne is grumbling as the elevator moves upward toward Benjamin’s penthouse.

“Viv, come on, we’re here and we still have a half-hour,” I say trying to get her to calm down.

“Well one of us as to be the loose cannon! You two are way too fucking calm.” She frowns.

When the elevator jerks to a stop and the doors slide open. Benjamin raises his arms in front of us. “Stay,” he growls.

I jump back and push myself against the wall of the elevator, “What is it?” I whisper.

“Someone is here.” Benjamin sticks his left hand behind him, palm up, I take it and he pulls me close to him, shielding me behind his back. I stick my own out and take Vivienne’s hand.

“Welcome home!” A smooth voice bellows from somewhere in front of us. Benjamin’s grip on my hand is nearly crushing my bones. I stand on my tiptoes and peer over his shoulder. Wes is beaming from the entrance of Benjamin’s penthouse. His arms outstretched and royal blue suit perfectly tailored. “It’s rude to keep your grandfather waiting, Benjamin. You know better.”

“You’re not going to win this time.” Benjamin thunders.

“Ha!” Wes’s smile grows larger, “you would do well to remember your place, boy. I always win.” he steps forward and Benjamin whips his right arm behind him forming a barricade around me, as if that’s going to protect me, but I admire his tenacity.

“Let’s talk Wes, man to man,” Benjamin says in a controlled voice. “It’s been years, I think it’s time we reconcile.”

“In order to discuss something man to man, there would have to be another man present. Did you bring one?” Wes grins.

“Eleven forty,” Vivienne whispers into my year.

“I didn’t think so.” Wes continues, “But I brought something. Come here.” He turns into Benjamin’s house and when he turns back my knees nearly give out. He’s holding that small raven-haired boy, gripped under his arms, dangling him in the air before him as if he’s a disgusting piece of garbage he was forced to pick up.

“Mommy!” Michael cries, “Are you coming home?” Michael struggles against Wes’s grip. “You’re hurting me,” he whines.

“Do you see him? Is he real?” my words are distraught. There’s an intense weight on my heart as I stare after the small boy, I want him in my arms, away from that psychopath, I need to protect him.

“Yes.” Benjamin’s voice threatens to crack.

I drop Vivienne’s hand and try to move, but Benjamin’s arms are unwavering and Vivienne has locked hands with him to keep me trapped. “Let me go!”

“There she is!” Wes laughs, a fighter, just like her mother.

“Fuck you!” I scream.

“Children present.” Wes sings. “See the problem with you is that you don’t know what real sacrifice is, Eleanore. You’ve been protected your entire life by fools. Your son, this tiny little creature, the demon spawn of you and my defiant grandson is very much like me. He’s powerful, you see.” Wes drops his hands and Michael clatters to the floor like a lifeless marionette before bellowing painful cries.

“No!” I’m jumping, punching, pushing at Benjamin but he won’t move.

“Take me! Take me!”

“I’m not finished,” Wes says, reaching down and pulling a sobbing Michael to his feet.

“I want mommy. It’s not fair.” Michael whimpers wiping at his face with the back of his hand.

“Fair.” Wes says the word as if tasting it, “People see small children dying of cancer or terrible accidents and they say it’s not fair! They were so young! But what they don’t realize is that those small children whose lives have ended so abruptly would have grown up to be the murderers and terrorists of the world. And I don’t think we need any more of those.”

“Eleven Fifty-Eight.” Vivienne hisses.

“If you live, this is what you breed! Destruction! and I can’t let that happen. No, no. That would be unfair of me.”

Wes looks down at Michael, examining his face. He reaches out a hand and ruffles his hair as if attempting to cheer him up, but then his eyes go black.

“Midnight!” Vivienne screams.

Before I can think Benjamin breaks his restraint on me, he rushes forward and yanks Michael away from Wes. “Go!” he shouts back just as Wes’s hand closes around his neck. I charge forward, letting my mind focus on getting to the door as I see Vivienne scoop Michael into her arms. He’s safe. I repeat in my head like a soothing mantra. He’s safe.

I’m through the doorway, Benjamin is struggling against his great grandfather but his face is determined. I take the wooden steps to the hallway two at a time and push at the wooden double doors, yes! They’re unlocked. I race to the curtained wall and fling them apart to reveal the red Victorian door. It’s already open. Without hesitation, I enter.

The foyer of the old home is dark and I can hear the rain beating against the concrete outside. That smell is taking over my senses and I’m fighting to stay focused. Wait for it.

“Mom? What are you doing in here?” Holy shit, that’s me, I’m here. I screw my eyes shut and try to slow my breathing.

There’s the sound of shuffling feet and then a thud. Okay, it’s time.“Benjamin!” I cry running forward, I can see his silhouette in the dim light streaming through the windows on either side of the door. His back is arched hovering over the younger version of myself. I inch forward moving around him and reach out a hand, “Benjamin I need your help, it’s me Ellie!”

His body snaps up and his back is rigid, he moves forward forcing me against the windows. I lean back and when his face comes into the light my heart falls.

“Hello, Eleanore.” Wes smiles. “I told you. I always win.”

Just like that night twenty years ago when I was taken, my world goes black. And, when my eyes open, I look around, confused for a moment. Where am I? But, then I remember...oh right.

Jack is late. He’s always late. I can’t help but take it personally while I’m waiting on the corner of Jones Alley.