Don't Play With My Soul

Zenia's POV

I had not left the party. Instead, I was inside EJ's bedroom awaiting for him. I was not about to be crumbled and shattered when he hadn't heard my side of the story.

I knew he was angry, his eyes said it all, but I needed to stand my ground, swallow up my fears, and be true to myself and him.

I sat at the edge of his bed, looking around his bedroom in satisfaction. Everything was neatly arranged and in order-- not a T-shirt on the bed or a book laying on the floor.

His bed felt so comfortable beneath me, I couldn't help it but lay myself back.

"What are you doing in here?"

I flung myself up and saw his angry grey eyes staring at me. "I need to talk to you."

"Well, I don't wanna talk to you so you can leave."

"I'm not going anywhere until you hear me out."

"Zenia, I'm really not in a mood for this. I don't want to hear you out."

"You will listen to me! You will stand there and listen to everything I have to say to you."

These Hollen men could be so damn difficult sometimes, then sweet the next. Now I knew how Jasmine must have felt when Evan rejected her. But, unlike Jasmine, I wasn't afraid of using my talkative mouth. "What is it, Zenia?" He gave in. He loosened his neck tie and sat himself down on his bed.

I stood in front of him. "EJ, I don't know what Madison told you, but I'm really sorry for everything that had happened."

"Oh, now you're sorry? After you killed my baby, you're sorry?"

"It was an accident EJ! I didn't know I was pregnant."

His eyebrows creased in confusion. "Liar, liar pants on fire."

"Stop being childish and hear me out."

"No. I'm exhausted, murderer. Miss Abortion. Miss I'm-too-young-for-a child-so-I'm-getting-rid-of-it. Miss one-night stand."

That was the last bad name he called me because I smacked the rest of them out of his mouth. "I can't believe you'd sit there and say all those things to me, EJ! Do you really think of me in that awful way?

"I didn't have any abortion. For Pete's sake, I'm against abortions. Jasmine could testify to that! I went behind my sister's back, ignored her wishes, and told your brother about her pregnancy because Jasmine was thinking about an abortion, and I knew he would be the only one who could stop her.

"Do you really think I would deliberately kill my own child, even though I got pregnant from a one night stand with your disrespectful ass? No matter the circumstances, I would have brought that baby into the world if I could have, but I couldn't."

He firmly pulled me onto him, and I thought he was going to beat the crap out of me, but, instead, his sparkling grey eyes came back at once.

"What really happened, Zenia? To the baby I mean."

His hands smoothed my hair and his lips ran tender kisses down my neck.

"I'm really sorry, EJ. I honestly did not know I was pregnant. I had just gotten out of a heart wrecking relationship, and I was looking to have some fun and forget about everything in the past.

"I went to the Halloween party with some girls, and that's when I met you. We were both drunk, but I remembered you. I remembered your eyes, your scent, your voice and your touches.

"One month after our encounter, I lost the baby because I had a large amount of alcohol in my system. I drank myself drunk to get over a silly heartbreak and, in the process, I ended up getting rid of a child." "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because I didn't want you to get mad at me or look at me like I was bad news. I really do care about you, but I lost your baby. I just figured that I had taken something away from you, so I was pushing you away from me."

He heaved a loud, long sigh and buried his face in the crook of my neck for a minute.

"Baby, you know how I feel about you. You know that I want to be there for you, and I would always be there for you; you should have told me."

"I'm sorry." Tears slipped from my eyes and fell on his arms.

"Shh, stop crying." He turned my face towards his and wiped my tears away with his thumbs. "It's okay, Zenia. I'm just sorry that you had to go through that pain by yourself. I wish you hadn't just left me in that bedroom after we did what we did."

"What did you want me to do?" I asked, sniffing.

"Well, I wanted you to stay, to get to know you better on sober days, to fall in love with me."

Our lips crashed together and everything felt alright again. He laid back on the bed and pulled me up and closer to him without breaking the kiss.

His hands roamed my body as I strongly gave in to his kiss and ran my hands through his beautiful black hair. His strong chest heaved in and out through his shirt, and I had the strongest temptation to peel it off him and give him something he was bound to remember.

He rolled me over, hovering over me, and stared into my eyes.

I felt my body going numb.

One look.

One look was all it took to get tranquilized by his luminous orbs.

His lips collided with mine again, claiming them and making them his.

Bit by bit, he was breaking down the strong and tall walls I'd built around my heart. I was falling for him with every kiss and touch and eye gaze.

Tears welled up in my eyes again, and he noticed them; he stopped.

"Baby, is everything okay?"

I nodded, yes.

"I know you're still hurting, but I forgive you, Zenia. No man is perfect so we all make mistakes. All we have to do is learn from them, okay, baby? I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to hurt anymore. We have all our lives to have babies."

He started kissing me again, but I stopped him, straightened my dress and pulled myself off the bed.

"What's wrong? Was I forcing you?" he asked, studying my body language and making his way over to me.

Just tell him.

"There's something else you should know."

"What's that?"

"I won't be able to have any more babies in the future."

He raked his fingers through his hair and looked heavenward. Another loud sigh came from his nostrils, and he turned away from me.

"EJ, please say something."

"What do you want me to say, Zenia?"

"Anything," I pleaded.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight."