(Dis)content (Judgement Of The Six Book 5)

Bethi turned in her seat to look back at me.  We were in the car, waiting for Winifred and Carlos to come out of the restaurant.

“What’s up with the switch?”

“I have some questions about what you said this morning.  And I have an idea that I’ll need your help with.”

“Intriguing.”

The driver’s door opened, and Winifred got in.  I turned to see Carlos climb into the front of the SUV with Jim.  Our gazes met as he closed the door.  My stomach did its weird twist thing.

“This is for you,” Winifred said, breaking my focus.  She passed a to-go box back to me.  I took it but didn’t open it.  The portion of BLT still in my stomach was enough for now.  Winifred watched me in the mirror as she started the car.

“Carlos said you didn’t eat this morning and barely ate anything before you went outside.”

“Yeah.”  I set the box aside.  “Still, I think I’ll save this for later.”

A wave of annoyance rolled over me as Winifred mumbled something about Jim.  Then she shook her head and cut off the emotion.

“Sorry about that.  So, what questions do you have?”

Now that it was time to start asking, I was nervous.  Did I really want answers?  I settled back into my seat as I decided it didn’t matter what I wanted.  Ignorance would get me into trouble, not just with Carlos and the whole pull thing but with werewolves in general.

“Let’s start with what werewolves can do.  I’ve noticed some differences.  Obviously, you change forms, but when in your non-fuzzy form, you guys are hard to dent.  Do you have thicker bones or something?”

“I don’t believe so, but it might explain why we’re harder to injure.  We tend not to go to doctors for obvious reasons.  Besides additional strength, we have better hearing, better vision, and quicker reflexes than humans.  We generally heal faster, too.”

“Same with the Urbat?” I asked.

Winifred glanced at Bethi.

“Yeah,” Bethi said.  “From what I’ve seen, werewolves and Urbat are about the same body-wise.  Their differences seem to lie in their beliefs and values.”

I thought on that for a bit.  It would have been nice if the werewolves had an upper hand, physically.  Yet, it was better to be equals than the Urbat having the advantage.

Now to the harder questions.  I glanced at Winifred and caught her watching me in the mirror.  I heaved a sigh, hoping everything I said would stay with the two women in this car.

“When I said I’d help, I didn’t care who you all were or what was going on.  I just wanted to get rid of this thing I do, so I could be with Ethan.”

I glanced down at my hands and tried to swallow past the lump in my throat.  It took a few tries before I could speak again.

“But things changed.  Before Ethan…”  I cleared my throat, skirting around his death.  “He noticed that all of us girls seemed to be paired up with one of you.  Not long after he pointed that out, Michelle said something about a pull, and Bethi said something about biting.”

I lifted my eyes and met Winifred’s gaze.

“Am I supposed to be Carlos’ Mate?”

“Do you want to be?”

I shook my head in frustration.

“Don’t answer questions with questions.  It’s annoying.  According to your beliefs, does Carlos think he and I are supposed to be together?”

“Yes,” Bethi said when Winifred wouldn’t.

Winifred gave her a look.

“What?  He nearly tore down Ethan’s bar when that guy hit her.  What else could it be?”

“That’s why he came at the cage?” I asked.

Bethi, still turned in her seat, grinned at me.

“Werewolves are protective.”

“Okay.  Fine.  So I get that he wants me to bite him—not going to happen by the way—but why did he want me to run?”

Shock hit me.

“I beg your pardon?” Winifred said.

“Last night, after I blasted all you guys.  Carlos took me into the woods and told me to run.  I blame my agreement on the alcohol.”

“What happened?”  Bethi’s rabid curiosity coated my skin like lotion.

“I ended up on the ground with a growling fur-beast straddling me,” I said.

“Did he hurt you?” Winifred asked.

“He thanked me and helped me to my feet.  So, can you tell me why he wanted me to run?”

Winifred’s sudden need to watch the road had me curious.  That she took a moment to answer had me planning all the ways I’d make Carlos pay if he’d talked me into doing something bad.  Gradually, Winifred’s shock died down.

“It hasn’t been long since we shed our fur as daily wear and started to wear clothes.  At heart, we’re still animals,” she said.  “And a chase still gives us a thrill.”  She glanced at me in the mirror.

“Wait.  You’re saying he wanted me to run because it turned him on?”

“I’m totally going to get Luke to chase me,” Bethi said with a grin.

I ignored her.

“And the shaking?” I asked.

“Struggling for control over the change,” Winifred said.  “When we’re emotionally—”

“I get it.  Do I have a choice?  Am I going to be forced to pair up with Carlos?”

“No one will force you,” she said.  “You will always have a choice.”

“Good,” I said with a long exhale.  “I didn’t sign on to be a new candidate in this werewolf dating service you all seem to have going on.  Now, for some serious business,” I said, ready to change the subject.

“I thought that was serious,” Bethi said.

“When I tried to push out the sludge inside me just a little while ago, it didn’t work.  Carlos thinks it’s because I’m too worried about hurting the people around me.  He might be right.  But, I need to figure out how this thing works.”

Bethi was already nodding.

“Yep.  I agree.”

“Okay.  So, pushing with everyone around is out.  But I thought of something else.  Gabby said the Urbat are spread out.  I want to see if we can isolate one or two, so I can use them as practice.”

I could already see the rejection in Winifred’s gaze.  Bethi, on the other hand, thought it was a great idea by her excitement.

“Yes,” she said.  “That would be perfect.  We can hang back, and you can easily take on one or two.  As long as Gabby’s watching, they can’t really go anywhere with you if it doesn’t work.

“We don’t think this is a sound plan,” Winifred said.  She opened her mouth to say more, but Bethi turned on her.

“Did you see what happened to her when Ethan died?  Her skin split.  From the inside.  Her eyes were seconds from hemorrhaging, based on how they looked just after.  She’s lucky she didn’t liquefy her liver.  If she doesn’t learn how to push out the excess emotion the next time something bad happens, she won’t have an out.  Denying her isn’t an option.”

Bethi’s angry waves of frustration made me twitch.  I needed to call my attack Chihuahua off.

“Down girl.  You’re back on my sleepover list,” I said, nudging her with a finger.  “Just cut back on the overload, okay?”

She took a breath and muted some of what she felt.

“Can we pull over to talk about it?  After that, I think I need to drive with Carlos again.

“Sorry,” Bethi mumbled.

“Don’t worry about it.”  As I spoke, the lead vehicle put on its blinker and braked.

When Winifred came to a stop on the shoulder, I breathed a sigh of relief and climbed out.  Carlos was already out of his seat and walking toward us.  His gaze swept over me.  He’d been worried.  I couldn’t feel it or see it in his gaze, yet I knew and felt a flutter in my middle because of it.

“I’m fine,” I said when he walked up to me.

“Why did we stop?”

Winifred indirectly answered his question as she spoke to Sam and Grey while everyone else joined us.

“Isabelle wants to find a lone Urbat.  She needs to figure out how she released her emotions yesterday and can’t do it with us around.”

“Alone?” Sam said.

Carlos studied me.

“Isolated.  Not alone,” I said.

“It’s not up for debate,” Bethi said.  “If she doesn’t learn how to do this, the next time she overloads, she could kill herself.”

Carlos’ hands, which had hung loosely at his side, curled into fists.

“How does the route look?” Sam asked Gabby.

“Clear.  It’s been clear since we left.  Although, one of them came near the hotel last night then left again.  Since then, none of them have moved.”

“It’s bugging me that they’ve backed off like that,” Bethi said.  “They don’t back off.  They fight.”

“Maybe what Isabelle did scared them,” Winifred said.

Bethi seemed to consider it, then slowly shook her head.

“I think there’s something more to their actions.”

“We need to find out what,” I said, agreeing with her.  “Maybe we can kill two birds with one stone.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, looking at me.

“They are obviously trying to steer us north, right?  So let’s go west and see what happens.  As soon as we find an Urbat, we’ll stop and I’ll say hi.  Maybe the lucky guy will be able to shed some light on why they want us to go north.  If not, I’ll still get my chance at figuring out my newest trick.”

“What exactly do you mean by isolated?” Grey asked.

“You just need to be far enough away that when I pull or push emotions, you won’t be in the blast zone.”

He nodded and looked at Winifred and Sam.

“If the rest of you stay back by the vehicles, Carlos and I can walk Isabelle as close as possible.  Then, she can go the rest of the way on her own.  Gabby and Sam can keep Carlos and me informed of any movement.  We’ll be close enough to protect her if need be, and the rest of you will be far enough away to stay safe.”

They debated it for a while, then finally agreed.  Gabby would take us to a thin spot.  Not too close.  Within a mile.  Then Carlos, Grey, and I would walk the rest of the way.

Before we got back into the cars, we practiced again.  Emmitt was getting better at trusting the circle to protect Michelle and his mom.  The three in the middle were working together seamlessly to announce the fight.  Our weakness would be in the numbers.  There was no way we would survive without casualties if we were attacked again like we had been.  We needed to get to New York.

*    *    *    *

I sat in the front again, enjoying the emotional silence as Carlos drove.  My stomach rumbled, and I unbuckled to reach back for the sandwich I’d forgotten.

“Isabelle, that’s not safe.”

“Not feeding me isn’t safe.  I’d hate for you to lose an arm because I’m hungry.”

I settled back into my seat and set the box in my lap before I buckled again.

“See, nothing to it.”

He didn’t comment.

With a grin, I opened the box and saw a whole sandwich inside.  It wasn’t the toasted BLT I’d half eaten.  I lifted the top and saw peanut butter and grape jelly.  I’d mentioned I’d wanted one, and he’d gotten it for me.  It wasn’t the first thing he’d quietly done for me.  He’d been taking care of me since Ethan had died.  And how had I treated him?  Like a pariah.

“Thank you,” I said quietly.

“You’re welcome, Isabelle.”

My stomach dipped and danced at his use of my name.  I had a feeling he knew exactly what he did to me when he said it, too.  Thoughtfully, I lifted the sandwich and took a bite.  Ethan had been right; the big guy did want me.  But watching my back wasn’t going to be enough because Carlos wasn’t attacking.  He was worming his way in.

“This pull won’t go away, will it?”

“No.”

I nodded slowly.

“I don’t do relationships,” I said softly.  “It’s not just to protect the guy, you know.  It’s to protect me, too.  I don’t want to spend my life hitting the people who mean something to me.”

“Maybe you’ll feel differently when you learn how to release what you pull in.”

I finished my sandwich in silence then turned in my seat to study him.  He really wouldn’t give up.  For some reason, the idea didn’t annoy me as much as it probably should have.

“And maybe I’ll be so overcome by my awesome new skill that I’ll bite you.”

His hand tightened fractionally on the steering wheel. The bite thing was really messing with him.

I smirked when he cleared his throat lightly before speaking.

“Michelle found a place in New York already,” he said.  “Three apartments in a secured building.  Bethi is arguing that you need better isolation.”

“It’s New York.  How isolated does she think she can get me?  Tell her to stop worrying.”

“Will it be too much?”  He glanced at me.

“It will be what it will be.  We need to expose the Urbat, and everyone agreed New York is the place to do it.  So, we have to go there.  But, this side trip will be helpful.  If I can master pushing out the emotions, pulling won’t be an issue anymore.”

We drove west for almost an hour before we pulled over again.

I got out and stretched.  I was tired of all these car rides and just wanted to get where we needed to be already.

“He’s about a mile up the road,” Gabby said as she walked toward me.

“He?”

“Just a guess,” Gabby said.  “They’ve all been men so far.  I figured the Urbat are just as hard up for females as these guys are.  I’ll keep an eye on things from here and report any movement to Sam.  Sam will keep Grey and Carlos informed.”

I nodded.

“Ready for a country stroll?” I said, looking at Grey and Carlos.

“Lead the way,” Grey said.

My palms started to sweat as I walked away from the group.

“I want you to stay as far back as possible, Grey.”

“You have my word,” he said. Yet, Grey’s worry drifted on the wind.

I didn’t bother trying to reason with Carlos, who strode beside me.  I doubted he’d listen.

The sound of the idling engines faded as we walked.  Ahead, in the road, I spotted a little figure.

“Gabby says there’s movement north and south.  Reinforcements,” Grey said.  “We’ll only have a few minutes.”

We picked up our pace, and I watched the distant figure rapidly grow.  Whoever it was approached us, too.

When I could make out the worn pants and stained shirt of the man, he stopped advancing.  So did Grey.  Carlos and I kept going.

“I won’t let you pass,” the man called.

I could see the superior smirk.  Oh, how I wanted to wipe that look from his face.  His people had killed Ethan.

“I’m not here to try to get past you,” I said.  I kept walking until I felt his disdain.  Then I stopped.  I couldn’t feel Grey or Carlos so I began pulling a little.

“Here for some more fun, human-lover?”

My nervousness fled at the rise of my fury.  He knew about Ethan?  How could he know when I’d killed them all?  Could they do that mind thing, too?

“No.  I’m here to see how many more of you I can kill before I die.”

His humor faded, and I waited for his reaction.

“The others are turning back,” Carlos said.  Grey was obviously feeding him information.

“Your friends don’t want to come and play?”  It didn’t surprise me.  “Why not?  What are you and your kind afraid of?”

His anger washed over me.  I pulled some of that into me as well. My skin tingled but didn’t feel tight.

“Nothing.  Certainly not a little bitch like you.”

I laughed, pulled hard on an inhale, and pushed it all back at him on the exhale.  The man fell to his knees, holding his head.  His nose bled.

“Tell Blake I’m coming for him.”

“He’s counting on it.”  The man spat red.

“I doubt he’s counting on what I’m going to do to him.”

His twisted, feral smile made me itch to do worse to him.

“Blake’s got far worse planned for you,” his gaze flicked to Carlos, “and a few others in your group.”

I tried to step forward, but Carlos’ hand on my shoulder stopped me.

“You know what you need?” I said to the man, ignoring Carlos.  “Obedience training.  When I’m finished with you, you’ll be fetching my paper.”

I pulled hard again.  The man grunted and wavered.

“Do you like how that feels?  Mmm, your fear is delicious.  I like the taste of coward.”

His anger spiked, and I pulled it all.  The man slumped to the ground.  Though his face rested against the asphalt, his eyes tracked my progress when Carlos finally released me.  I squatted beside the man and poked his forehead.

“Don’t threaten what’s mine.”

“When we’re done with you,” the man slurred, “you’ll have nothing.”  He started to laugh.

I wanted to push out the anger I still held, but I didn’t.  I couldn’t kill him.  Even though it seemed like a really awesome idea now, I’d regret it later.

“Night,” I said standing.  Then I kicked him in the head.

His eyes rolled back and closed.

I stood and stayed there, staring down at him for a moment.

“Isabelle?”

Turning, I glanced at Carlos.  I felt twitchy with the unspent energy still crawling through me.  It wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.  But it made me frown at him irritably.

“Get rid of it,” Carlos said.

I started walking.  Grey was a good distance away, and I waved him to move further.  When I was an equal distance between the fallen man and Grey, I glanced at Carlos.

“Do it,” he said.

His dark gaze held mine.  What if I hurt him?  I swallowed my fear and pushed.  This time, it worked.  Carlos didn’t stagger or fall, but I did see his fingers twitch.

“Did you feel that?”

“No.  There are others coming this way.  We need to run.”

I didn’t need to be told twice.  He and I ran back to the vehicles.  It was obvious he was holding back so he kept pace with me.  All the engines were running.  Winifred was at the wheel of our vehicle.

“Kicked the hornet’s nest, did I?” I said as I slid into the backseat.  To my surprise, Carlos joined me.

“Not too badly.  There are only a few headed this way,” she said as she turned the car around.  We followed the other cars back the way we’d come.

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine.  Let Bethi know it worked.”

Winifred nodded.

*    *    *    *

We drove forever.  My butt went numb, and my patience wore thin.  The clock on the dash flashed two a.m.  Sure we’d stopped for bathroom breaks, practice, and slowed down for a fast food dinner, but we still continued to push further north as if trying to make up for the westward detour.

The Urbat alley remained a beehive of activity with many leaving their posts to follow us north.  Though Bethi felt more assured by the response to our test, no one else did.

“Seriously, are we there yet?” I asked, letting my head fall back against the seat.

“Almost,” Winifred said.

Thankfully, she wasn’t sugarcoating it.  We pulled into a motel parking lot a few minutes later.  The neon light flickered like a horror movie, and the burned-out bulb of the yard light cast shadows on the long, narrow building.  The weathered exterior doors to each room needed new paint—at least, on the bottom half.

“I changed my mind,” I said, looking out the window.  “Let’s drive all night.”

“Gabby needs a break.  She said this area’s been clear for a while.”

“Gee, I wonder why,” I mumbled as I opened my door.  I waited for Carlos as he grabbed our bags from the trunk.  The rest of the group shuffled toward the shady “office.”

“Not that I expect five star hotels or anything, but a single star would be better than this.”

“We’ll be safe,” Carlos said, coming to stand beside me.

I tipped my face up to look at him.  “From the Urbat, yes.  But I bet there’s a lot nastier stuff crawling around in those rooms.

“Come on.”  He led me toward the office.  The rest were just coming out with keys.

“The rooms only have one bed each,” Emmitt said as he held up a fistful of old-fashioned keys.

I glanced at the numbers on the doors.  One through lucky number seven.

Carlos took a key and watched me.  My guilty conscience had me wondering if he was expecting me to throw a fit.

“Well, come on, snuggle buddy,” I said.  “You can protect me from everything that skitters away when the lights go on.”

I heard Michelle make a concerned noise.  She looked less pleased than I did.  Bethi, on the other hand, seemed to have no problem with the situation.

I followed Carlos to the door and peered around him as he turned the light on.  The inside was far better than the outside.  The room smelled fresh, was bright, and looked clean.

“Thank God!”  I flopped onto the bed and didn’t move.