Denying The Alpha

"And how was the romantic dinner," I asked my aunt excitedly. I can't believe Amy has been gone three weeks already. I talked to her almost every day. Her stories were amazing. I can't believe how much fun the human world is. I hope that I can convince Kyle one day to take some time off and do what they are doing. Maybe we can even visit some different werewolf packs from other countries. It would be so exciting to see how differently they lived as well.

"It was fantastic. Thank you so much for organising it. We never expected the surprise. I didn't know they did dinner at the Eiffel Tower. I took photos of the view. I can't wait to show them to you once we're home. Are there any more wild surprises to come?" It was nice to hear my Aunty so happy.

"Oh come, you know I'm not going to tell you that. It would ruin it."I giggled. Kyle and I spent hours huddled over a computer, searching for the best of the best for this holiday. We made sure we booked everything Amelio and Amy had instructed us to, but I had a lot of fun adding a few little things of my own, like late night dinners, wine tours and an abundance of sightseeing tours. Even Kyle added a few of his own surprises. They were mainly for Amelio. According to him, I had planned only 'chick' activities, and he wanted his friend to enjoy his time away too.

"Okay, okay. Well, I can't wait. Now tell me, how are you feeling. I didn't forget, I know it's today, and I know you are avoiding talking about it, but I won't let you. I need to know how my girl is doing."

Ugh, I almost got away with not talking about it for five whole minutes. Everyone has been fussing over today for weeks now, fussing over me. I know they worried, but I wish they would believe me when I told them that I was fine. "I'm doing okay. I'm over Declan. He can't hurt me. It won't mean anything to me to see her wearing his mark. They can lie to people all they want. I am happy. I have all that I could ask for and more." And that was the truth. I won. "So your not at all bothered about going back, Hmm?" I could hear her doubt over the phone.

Talk to her about it. Amy will understand. Sapphire urged me. Maybe I should, I can trust Amy, and I was tired of keeping things to myself.

"I'm not afraid of him. I have been training daily. I've moved up ranks and fast. There are only a handful of people who can still beat me at this point, and they're all experienced male warriors. There is not a single female in the pack that I can't beat. I have made friends here and a home. I am a respected leader, and I love my pack. Then there is Kyle, who I love more than life itself. He's like the sun in an otherwise dark world. But the past few days, I haven't been sleeping well, I haven't been feeling very hungry, and when I do eat, I feel nauseous. I have been having nightmares again about being thrown down those stairs over and over. I haven't had nightmares since Kyle marked me, but they're back again, and they won't stop. I survived Declan, and I should feel proud, but I don't...... I feel.... Well, I feel embarrassed." I sobbed. That was another thing. I got better, well, at least I thought I had. I haven't cried since the night Amelio woke up. But for almost a week now, I have been bursting into tears over abnormal little things. It was a miracle no one had spotted me whilst I have been so emotional.

I know Kyle can feel it through the bond and that he worries for me. He asks about it, but I don't know how to talk to him about it when I don't even understand why it is that I am feeling this way.

"What? Oh, Faith. I am so sorry. I wish I were there to help. I should have stayed." Amy fretted.

Now I felt guilty, she was supposed to be having a good time, and here I was dumping all my issues on her.

"No, I am sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." I sniffle.

"Oh, no, girl. Don't you do that. Don't you apologise. Please tell me about it. I just don't understand what you have to be embarrassed about. Can you explain it to me?"

"Well, everyone at my old pack, they know what happened. I know they do. It's embarrassing to go back there and be the girl that let her mate cheat on her and put her in the hospital. That stood there and took his beatings. That did nothing more than run away when she was thrown down a flight of stairs. I am stronger now, but they don't know that. They haven't seen me lead this pack, nor have they seen me in training. What if by going back there for two days, I'm just this weak measly little girl again." What would I do about the whispers that followed me because I knew they would. What would I even say to Sam? To Declan and his devil B.itch mother, because I'm not stupid, they will approach me, I know they will. I'll leave Kyle to deal with Jackson. In fact, I think Kyle is looking forward to it.

"You are looking at it all wrong. From my perspective, I see someone who is incredibly brave and passionate." Amy cooed.

"Okay, now it's your turn to explain!" I didn't want to seem pessimistic or down, but I don't see what she sees, that's for sure.

"You went through hell because of Declan. You almost died. But you managed to rise above it and create a beautiful new life for yourself. You didn't let your past stop you from embracing your future with open arms and a heart full of love. That takes incredible resilience, and that is rare. You never backed down. Even now, you are going back, and you're facing them. You don't have to. No one would blame you for not going, and yet you are. Any person less than what you are would be seeking revenge, but your not. Tell me, why not?"

"Because I don't feel like they took anything from me. I have a good life." I answer honestly.

"Exactly. So go today or don't go, but hold your head high. You have a lot to be proud of."

She is right, I hope you know that. Sapphire agreed with Amy.

"I'll try." And I would, but I couldn't promise that there wouldn't be moments of weakness or self doubt.

"When do you leave?" Amy asked. I looked at the clock on the wall, it was already seven in the morning, and we had to leave by half past eight.

"In an hour and a half. I should get off and get ready. Goodbye, I love you. I'll call you when I'm back home, let you know how it went." I promise.

"Bye baby, I love you. I'll speak to you in two days." Amy says, and then she cuts the call.

I stare at the phone in my hands for a few minutes when the door creaks open.

"Oh, good, there you are. You ready?" Kyle scooped me from the end of the bed and cradled me in his strong arms as he sat down. I inhaled deeply, breathing in his intoxicating scent and allowing it to calm me down.

"Not yet. I need to put makeup on and some nice clothes, but I'm all packed for the night. My bags are by the door." But when I looked at the door, my bags were nowhere to be seen.

"What? I swear I packed them." Maybe I was losing it.

"I had some omegas take them down to the car already. Don't worry."

Kyle kissed the crook of my neck, and goosebumps danced across my skin. His touch was electric.

"You know we have time before I have to get ready," I whisper seductively into his ear as I run my hand down his chest and squeeze his pen.is gently in the palm of my hand. I smiled when I heard him gulp. Without a word, he hoisted me up and threw me on the bed.

"Is this what you want, baby" Kyle spread my legs apart and dropped his body weight on the bed above me, stopping just shy of my lips.

"Yes." I grab him by the neck and close the distance.

I wanted this every moment of everyday, I could never seem to get enough of the s.ex.