Cupcake

“Do you think that’s Anne Hathaway’s real hair?”

Bryleigh’s face was thoughtful as she asked the question. It was during the first twenty minutes of The Princess Diaries, so pre-makeover. Anne (aka Mia in the movie) still had a head of long, frizzy curls.

“No way,” Lana said.

“I’m not sure,” Tess said back. “It could be.”

Lana took a bite of her celery stick. “It’s too poufy and thick. They probably used a wig—or at least some extensions. The real question is: Are those eyebrows legit?”

We all studied the actress a bit closer.

“Eyebrow wax and tweezers work wonders,” I said.

“Now that we can agree on, Cupcake.”

She offered me the veggie tray and I took a piece of broccoli. It was raw with no dip, but I didn’t want to ruin our precarious truce. After we settled on the couch and started the movie, she’d been less icy than usual. So yeah, I ate the broccoli with a smile.

I leaned forward and held out the tray of pretzels and cupcakes to her.

“You want one?” I asked.

Lana looked at me then to the desserts and shrugged. She was about to take something when Mrs. Leavengood suddenly joined us.

“Lana,” she said in a sharp tone. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Nothing.”

“Are my wholesome choices not good enough for you?”

Lana’s face went red, but before she could answer, another little girl ran into the room and grabbed Mrs. Leavengood’s hand. She looked familiar, but I couldn’t place her for a second.

“Lana, I asked you a question,” Mrs. Leavengood said. “Is there something wrong with my snacks?”

“No, Mom,” Lana replied. “I was just thinking about having a cupcake.”

“Oh honey. What have I told you about making good choices with food?” she said.

The little girl was the one who answered. “Eating bad things is the first step to a lifetime of sadness.”

“Well said, Ashley.” Mrs. Leavengood gave her a nod. “At least one of my daughters listens to me.”

Ashley? Now why…

Ah, right! This was the little girl from my mom’s class, the one who said the thing about how there were no fat princesses. When I looked closer at her and Lana, I could see the family resemblance. Ashley was currently staring at me with a tiny frown on her face.

“Hi,” I said. “I think we’ve met before. Do you remember me?”

“Yes,” she said. “You brought the cake for Shamika’s birthday.”

I nodded. “That’s right. It’s nice to see you again, Ashley.”

She tilted her head. “Why are you at my sister’s princess party?”

“Lana invited me,” I said. “We’re on Homecoming Court together.”

“How exactly do you know my baby sister?” Lana asked.

I gave a shrug. “My mom’s her teacher at school. I bring the kids cake sometimes for their birthdays.”

Ashley was still frowning as her mother spoke again.

“Unhealthy eating leads to poor living in general, Lana.” Mrs. Leavengood shook her head. “It’s a fact. How many times must I tell you this?”

“Actually,” I said, “the cupcakes are gluten free.”

“They are?” Lana asked.

I nodded. “Also, free of refined sugars or oil. I make a lot of different ones, but I know you’re always mentioning eating well. So I brought my healthiest choice.”

Lana blinked. “That was nice of you.”

“Well,” her mom laughed, “Ashley and I have some errands to run. Do you girls need anything?”

“No, we’re fine,” Lana said.

Mrs. Leavengood nodded. “No offense, Ariel, but I remain unconvinced. Desserts will never be the best choice.”

At the door she turned back to deliver her last word.

“Lana, I hope you’ll set a good example for your sister. And don’t forget you have Homecoming,” she said. “You want to make sure that dress still fits.”

With a wave, she and Ashley left. I was too nervous to look at Lana, suffering from a kind of secondhand embarrassment. I didn’t know how the others felt, but Bryleigh and Tess didn’t say anything, either.

“You say these are gluten-free?” she asked.

My eyes shot to hers in surprise. “Yeah, but you don’t have to eat any if you don’t want to.”

Honestly, after that uncomfortable exchange, I was sorry I’d even brought them.

Lana stared at the front door a second longer before rolling her eyes. She turned back to me and grabbed a cupcake out of the tray.

“My mom’s sensitive about food,” she said. “She used to be very overweight and got a lot of crap about it. I don’t think one cupcake will hurt.”

After she took the first bite, her eyes closed.

“Especially when it’s this good.”

I hid a smile behind my hand. “So glad you like it.”

“Yeah well,” Lana said, “don’t get a big head, Cupcake. This is the first sweet I’ve had in like a hundred years. So…”

“I’ve had three in the last hour,” Bryleigh said. “And I’m not even sorry.”

The tension broke as everyone laughed. Lana brought out some cute princess-themed face masks, and we rewound the movie a little to see what we’d missed. The mask was supposed to clean out pores while calming the skin, but maybe it was magical. I found myself more at ease, enjoying this time with these girls I barely knew.

This isn’t so bad, I thought as the green tea mixture seeped into my skin.

“This is so unrealistic,” Tess pointed out once we got past the movie’s makeover scene. “Anne’s gorgeous. Are we supposed to believe no one saw how pretty she was before?”

“It’s the Clark Kent effect,” I said.

“Like Superman?”

“Yeah, in movies, no one acknowledges the girl’s pretty until she ditches the glasses and gets a makeover.” I shrugged. “But a lot of people look good in glasses.”

“Total cliché,” Bryleigh agreed. “Though I do like makeovers.”

“Who doesn’t?” Lana said. She was just finishing up her cupcake and looked a lot happier. “And anyway, that one guy saw how pretty she was. He liked her the whole time.”

“That’s a bit unrealistic, too, if you ask me.” Tess chewed her pretzel thoughtfully. “Why couldn’t it have been her crush, the popular athletic one?”

“Because,” I said, “the popular jocks can only see skin-deep. They’re pretty but shallow.”

Lana scoffed. “Another freaking cliché.”

I gave her a sad smile. “I don’t know. Some guys are like that.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter if they’re popular or not,” she said.

“She’s right,” Bryleigh put in. “Boys are much more superficial than girls. Especially when it comes to height or weight.”

Tess wasn’t having it. “Not all guys feel that way.”

“More than you might think,” I muttered.

“It probably has something to do with my mom,” Lana said. “But my worst fear is getting fat.”

The movie was forgotten once more as I pulled off my face mask and turned to her.

“That’s ridiculous,” I said. “There are way worse things than being overweight.”

Lana crossed her arms as she stared me down. “Oh yeah? Name one.”

She reminded me so much of her little sister that I wanted to laugh. But I didn’t, because this was an important issue, and I actually had an answer.

“Um, I can think of a ton of things that are worse,” I said.

Lana rolled her eyes, gesturing for me to go on.

“Being hateful for one,” I said.

“Or a bully,” Tess added.

“Or prejudiced,” Bryleigh put in.

“Or homeless, or incarcerated, or sick, or living in a war-torn country—”

“Okay, okay,” Lana cut in, stopping my words. Too bad, I had a lot more. “I get it. I guess there are worse things.”

I gave her a nod. “There really are.”

The movie was still rolling, so we sat back again to watch. Only a few minutes had gone by when Lana leaned over and beckoned me closer. Bryleigh and Tessandra were having a deep conversation about whether or not they’d want to be an actual princess if that meant they had to move all the way to an unknown country.

“What’s up?” I asked Lana.

She kept her voice low. “How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“How are you so confident about your weight?” Seeing the look on my face, Lana sighed. “I’m not trying to be mean, Cupcake—I’m honestly curious. Mom has told me so many horror stories, and she blames them all on her weight. It’s totally overboard. I honestly want to know why she’s like that and you’re not.”

“Okay,” I said frowning, “but if you’re doing this to tease me…”

“I’m not,” she said. “I swear.”

“Swear on the Homecoming crown.”

She rolled her eyes. “I swear on the crown. Now, will you just answer?”

I knew she cared a lot about being queen. Whether she was doing this to be mean or not, the fact that she’d sworn made me feel better about our conversation. Maybe Lana really did want to know. I settled farther into the couch.

“I guess one reason is because my mom’s never made a big deal about it,” I said. “She loves herself—and me—no matter how we look.”

“Must be nice,” Lana murmured. “What’s the other reason?”

I took a deep breath.

“Well, I had a friend who went through a bad time,” I said, intentionally leaving Toni’s name out. I wasn’t sure if she’d want to be a part of this conversation, but I couldn’t fully answer Lana without bringing up the past. “This was years ago. You never met her.”

“Okaaay,” she said, sounding impatient. “Like I care about your long-lost friend. Jeez, Cupcake. Can we move on?”

That made me smile because I knew she didn’t care.

“I’ve always been chubby,” I said. “She was smaller than me, but we were both teased. A lot.” My thoughts drifted back to those days, and a tremor worked its way down my spine. “At some point, we started believing the insults. They sort of get in your head, you know?”

Lana nodded, and I went on.

“We started complaining all the time, downing ourselves, finding flaws—about weight mostly.” I cleared my throat. “I hadn’t realized she’d stopped eating, that it was that serious. But at one point, she got sick and ended up in the hospital. It was…bad.”

I still had nightmares about seeing Toni in that hospital bed, how small and frail she’d looked.

Shaking myself, I said, “Luckily, she got better. We both went to therapy—which helped. And I decided to never put myself down again.”

“You just decided?” Lana said doubtfully. “How’s that working out?”

“I still have insecurities, if that’s what you’re asking.” I gave her a smile. “I just try to be kinder to myself.”

“That’s not the easiest thing to do.”

I nodded. “It’s not. Especially in high school.”

“I’m glad your friend’s okay,” she said.

“I am, too.”

Lana and I stared at each other for a moment. I’d always thought we were so different, but maybe we had a few things in common.

“It’s good that you came,” she said. My heart started to warm—but then she reached past me, coming back with another cupcake, and added, “These desserts are awesome.”

If Lana wanted to make it about the sweets, that was fine by me. Our little moment didn’t need to go any further than this couch. Bryleigh and Tess were still talking about the movie when I took a pretzel from the tray.

“He’s so much cuter than that other guy,” Bryleigh was saying.

“But he’s not her crush,” Tess said, “who, granted, turned out to be an ass.”

“I don’t care what you think—Princess Mia should’ve been with the nice guy from the beginning. Lana, Cupcake, what do you say? Should she have chosen the cocky jock or the sweet musician?”

“Maybe,” Lana said, “she should’ve gone with her cat and ended up single.”

Bryleigh groaned. “That’s not romantic.”

“Possibly more realistic, though,” Tess said.

“Cupcake?”

“I like the cat idea,” I replied. “Boys can be…more trouble than they’re worth.”

“I hear that,” Tess said. “Speaking of which, who do you guys think is the hottest prince on the court?”

The girls were silent a beat, then…

“Rhys,” they said in unison, followed by a bout of giggles.

“He’s gorgeous,” Tess said.

Bryleigh nodded. “Oh, you are so lucky you got to partner with him, Cupcake.”

“I agree,” Lana said. “I’ve been working toward being Homecoming queen since I was a freshman. But with Rhys on your arm? There might be some competition.”

“Yeah right,” I said. “We’re not even really going together.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re required to go as a couple because of Court, but I’m sure he’ll find someone else to take as his real date.”

Lana rolled her eyes. “Oh please, if he hasn’t asked you yet, he will.”

He did ask, I thought. He just didn’t mean it.

“We’ve all noticed how the two of you look at each other,” Bryleigh said. “It’s sweet.”

“It’s nauseating,” Lana retorted.

“Like you have room to talk,” Bryleigh said. “Do I really need to comment on your and Zander’s little romance? The way you pretend not to like him, and he keeps gazing at you as if you’re a queen already?” Lana’s mouth fell open as Bryleigh grinned. “That’s what I thought.”

“Zander’s intentions are suspect,” she said breezily. “But Rhys is so easy to read. He’s too honest for games, and he’s been flirting with Cupcake for a while.”

I shrugged her off. “I think Rhys likes games.”

“No, he doesn’t.”

“I hear you, but I just disagree,” I said. “He’s good at pretending.”

“Please, he’s, like, the most sincere guy I know. He can’t lie for anything.”

“Hmm, I wouldn’t be so sure of that.”

Lana looked at me like I’d grown a second head. “Are you serious right now? Cupcake, Rhys hates games. It’s one of the many reasons he broke up with me. I played around too much trying to make him jealous.”

Throat suddenly tight, I took that in.

“Sorry,” I said, “I didn’t know.”

“It’s fine.” She waved me off. “I was planning on breaking up with him anyway. He doesn’t talk much. Honestly, I don’t think he has a lot going on upstairs. He’s hot, but he’s just so boring, and—”

“Rhys isn’t boring,” I retorted, my cheeks hot with indignation.

“Really?”

“He’s smart, thoughtful, and kind, too.”

“Okay, whatever.”

“And you’re wrong about him not talking,” I said, remembering all the fun we’d had. “Rhys has a ton of opinions, and he’s so funny. I loved our conversations. I loved hanging out with him. I loved…basically every second we had together.”

Lana yawned. “Like I said, he’s too nice.”

She gave me a once-over.

“Actually, now that I think about it, you two are probably perfect for each other.”

Of all the things she could’ve said, that one cut the deepest.

If only it were true, I thought.

If only Rhys hadn’t lied to me, maybe we could’ve been something more.

If only my confidence was as unshakable as Lana believed it was, maybe his words wouldn’t have hit me so hard.

If only.