Critic

It's almost 2 am Jerry isn't home yet. I scared Jerry. I'm laughing inside while eating at the kitchen. I can't sleep probably because of the cigarettes. I will do something else then. I'm not sure if the weed made me horny or I'm naturally like this. I just talk more than ussual and laugh more. Which is a good thing, it made me feel good. And now I'm having a food trip by myself at Jerry's kitchen. After eating I walked up and down the stairs. I swept the floor too. I don't know what is wrong but I want to do something. I have so much energy. After a while I went by the window to get some air. A voice on my head is commanding me to jump. The window is next to the pool. With the moonlight reflecting to the water, it is indeed inviting to jump to that water... I climb up the window opening to see if I won't be scared to jump. But Then I'm not sure if the water is close enough to catch me. It looks close but I can't really say. I will just jump I can make it to the water. I won't die in case i did't make it. Worst case would be broken arm and leg. But I'm confident enough I can manage to get to the water. I climb up and stand straight to the window trying to estimate how much force i need to jump far towards the water. Im on that position when I heard a loud scream. I got distracted so I lost my balance. I tried to jump farther but that scream destroyed everything. I hit my right foot to the gutter. I felt so much pain but I manage to swim out of the pool and investigate the source of screaming. I can hear a noice coming. I immediately asked the maids what happened. Even mommy Rose came to check what is happening.

"Who screamed so loud and why?"I asked from the maids while limping.

"Maam I saw you jump from the window I was so scared I thought you were trying to kill yourself." The maid explained so worried. Her face is pale, shocked of what she witnessed from the window. So mommy Rose came to see if I tried to kill myself.

"I just want to swim. Are you crazy. I will never kill myself. I love my life." I laugh at the maid for thinking I would kill myself. Mommy Rose dismissed them all and she sent me to my room. She's so sweet. She immobilized my foot with a cardboard. It doesn't look bad. It's not broken. It just hurt the sole from hitting the gutter. It doesn't need casting. Mommy Rose didn't leave my side until I had fallen asleep. She slept on my side. What a warm feeling I felt when I learned in the morning that she didn't left my side.

We prepared breakfast while still talking about the incident about last night. The maid said she really thought I'm going to kill myself. I laugh at her again and again while other maid joined me from laughing. We waited for Jerry so he could drive us to the hospital for check up. Jerry finally came by 10 am.

Mommy Rose greeted him ahead. He went to me with a disappointed face. He is so tired from where ever he'd been now he has to drive me to the hospital. I feel sorry for him. I waved at him while i'm on the table eating.

"What the fuck Tara. What are you thinking!" He already know what happened, definitely from Mommy Rose.

"I just wanna swim. The maids are just paranoid." I explained. I don't want Jerry to be mad at me. I want to stay longer here. It is so different to stay in the house with plenty of people. I can talk to the maids to Mommy Rose and sometimes argue with Jerry and I love those things. It's fun that way. While staying at my apartment will definitely drive me crazy.

We drove off after I ate, in the car Jerry still questions my mental clarity because of the incident. I looked at him and laugh on how he is taking this.

"I don't want you making this kind of drama Tara, Mom is already old. I don't want her to witness somebody killing herself. Or whatever craziness you will bring in the future she doesn't need it. So please you either stop your madness or leave my house." He said clearly. He is mad at me. I was trying to act cute in front of him but it's not working. I have no effect on Jerry.

At the hospital they gave me a device to immobilize my foot (foot boot) for a month. We went back home directly after the hospital. I want to ask Jerry to go with me somewhere just so we don't have to go home right away but his face looks bad news so I didn't even try. He sent me to my room assisting me to my bed. Jerry is concerned of me but he hates the responsibility of taking care of me i think. I stayed on my room the whole day. While Jerry sleeps. Drake and Andrei visitted in the afternoon they already know what happened. Drake is taking me home. I told him I'm not leaving with him. I'd rather stay with Jerry. I'm happy here than my apartment.000