Chasing The Broken CEO

I kept reminding myself that he was the devil who destroyed my life because he chose to abandon me. I reminded myself not to be foolish all over again. "Where am I?" I asked coldly without looking at him.

I looked at the familiar painting hanged on the wall. The painting that has a deeper meaning that I can't even understand. For the second time, I observed every detail of it. The mixed color of green and black paints as its background as if those were just spilled accidentally and the woman in the middle who seemed to be turning her gaze on something, wearing her red long dress and the sadness evident in her eyes. It's an abstract painting reason why I don't understand and can't even decipher the true meaning of it.

And Evan was the one who bought it from Chandria.

He was the stupid guy who bought it for a million price. For what reason? My chest started to feel heavy as I continued to look at the painting. It was like I'm getting lost in it that I had to look down after a few minutes of spacing out. I let out a heavy sigh and wished that I could teleport right now so that I won't be here with him. I don't want to get near him.

"You're here in my rest house." He replied in a calm tone.

He got up and I felt him on my back. My forehead creased as I didn't like the idea that we're on the same bed. I got flustered when he suddenly touched my forehead only to see if I am still having a fever. His warm touch electrified the shit in me that I had to move it away from me. I was about to stand up but he was fast enough to hold me in my arm.

"You're still sick," he stated.

"I want to go home." I told him firmly without even looking at him.

I just can't glance at him. I am afraid that if I look at him, I'll get drowned and will no longer able to move... to breathe. And so, I don't want to take a risk.

"Please stay here for a bit, Risha. Just stay until your temperature gets better."

"Please, don't touch me..." I snorted and pulled my arm off him.

"I'm sorry..." he said softly.

Why is he apologizing? What is that apology for, Evan?

God knows how I wanted to yell at his face... how I wanted to blame him for everything that happened to me and to hurt him so bad. God knows how I wanted to say all the painful words I prepared for him so he would understand how my life turned upside down because of what he did, and how he destroyed the high hopes he made my parents feel before...

I wanted him to feel every pain that he made me feel. I wanted him to feel my anger towards him because he only hurt me... he made me hope for a good life with him... I swore I have a lot of things to say and I want to hurt him as well but my body can't seem to do it. Everything is just here in my mind. My physical form doesn't even respond to what my mind would tell.

Everything was just stuck in my head. All the emotions I want to release were just inside my chest, as if they are waiting for the right moment to attack the devil.

I thought this would be the good time to burst it all out but my body doesn't have the courage and strength to do it.

"Are you hungry?" He asked me carefully.

"I want to go home..."

"Risha..." he whispered my name in a familiar way.

I closed my eyes firmly as I started to feel weak. Please... please, don't let him affect you, Nathalie.

"You heard me..." I uttered in a cold and firm tone.

He didn't say a word so I stood up and saw my things on the side table. I grabbed all of it and put my sling bag on my shoulders.

"Risha..." he called me once again but I just ignored him.

I glanced at the door on the right side of the room. That might be the exit door. I breathed heavily and walked towards it. I held the knob and opened the door. I went outside and found a spiral staircase.

I gathered all my strength and walked downstairs. I'm walking very slow, afraid that I'll be out of balance again. Well, he was right that I'm still sick as I can still feel the heat in my breath. However, it is better for me to go home and deal with this sickness alone than to be here with him.

In fact, I don't want to see his face ever again!

I need to protect myself. That's the only thing I want to do right now and if that means getting away from him, I would be happy to do so.

It's funny that I don't want to get away from people back then. I want to be friendly and I always cherish the people I met but everything has changed. Now, I find peace when getting away from a lot of people... and I'll find the better peace if I stay away from him.

"Risha!" I heard him calling my name but I didn't listen.

I was already in the middle of the staircase when I felt dizzy again. I held on the railings and massaged the side of my head. I closed my eyes and leaned my back on the wall instead. "Risha!" His voice is already worried.

I heard a few steps he made on the stairs. I felt his the back of his hand on my neck and then he also checked my pulse. I breathed heavily and with my kept eyes closed as I felt weak all of a sudden. God knows how I wanted to push him away and let his body roll over all the way down of this stairs but I don't have the strength for that kind of crime either.

"Please, listen to me." he said softly and as he reached for my things. He took it from me reason why I had to open my eyes.

Our eyes met again and just fuck it, hot tears immediately pooled in my eyes. I don't know what else to feel towards him. All I know is that I am mad at him! I am fuming mad for what he did! I have this hatred inside my chest because of him! And here's the only thing I can do... to cry helplessly in front of him! Letting him see that I am so hopeless... that the damage has been done yet he could still kill me emotionally, and that he still affects me in so many ways.

It was like the scars he has given me before are now reopened and will cause another deep wounds that would not heal for this lifetime.

"Care to explain what happened, Evan?" I managed to say with my teeth gritting in anger and with tears spilled around the side of my eyes.

His lips parted. He looked guilty and apologetic. I saw the regrets right through his eyes and perhaps he also pity me for crying like this in front of him.

He was about to hold my hand but I managed to pull my hand and hid it on my back. I shook my head and stepped down a bit as I don't want to get close with him, I don't want to stare at his eyes and let myself get drowned in it all over again. I can't let it happen again.

I sighed and wiped my tears away.

"You disappeared like a bubble, Evan. I didn't hear anything from you.I didn't know the reason as to why you did it to me. And now, you're here... showing up suddenly like nothing happened in the past?"

He remained silent. I noticed that his hand formed a first. I looked at him and his lips were pressed together firmly. It was like he's trying to control something in him, like he's trying to reserve all the words he wants to say and will choose to stay silent for now.

Evan fucking Zendejas...

Silence engulfed us. A soft whimper escaped my lips when I realized that he's trying to be hard on me. He's like a hard stone that doesn't want to open up.

I mean... Who are you kidding, Nathalie? Don't let this man fool you again! Don't ask for any explanation from him because you will just find yourself getting fooled all over again!

This guy is so powerful in many ways. Who am I to boss him around and ask him to explain his side? Why would he even do that for me?

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Shit...

This is so bullshit!

"I will go home," I said with finality after the long deafening silence.

I inhaled sharply and started to walk downstairs. My tears were already staining my face and deep emotion made my chest so heavy.

I also can't help but to feel upset to myself. I've been dealing with these negative emotions for quite some time. I promised to myself that I won't shed a tear for someone like him but here I am, crying in pain because of him. All the tears I didn't shed before were flowing like a rapid river on my cheeks. What hurts me more is the fact that I can't do anything about it.

"I'm so sorry..." I heard him say in a very low tone.

That made me stop. I swallowed hard.

Is that it, Evan?

You will only apologize without telling me the reason why you did all that?

"Sorry for what?" I managed to asked with a cold voice.

"For everything..." he replied sincerely.

"Too late for that, Evan..." I said and then walked away.

I wiped my tears away and saw the double doors. It might be the way out of this place. I went to that door and opened it right away. The cold night breeze embraced me. I inhaled sharply and with all courage, I stepped out of his rest house. I just realized that he's not worth it at all. I should've stayed out of his sight before. I should've refused him and ignored the whole arrangement. I should've stopped myself from getting curious about him. If only I got control in everything, definitely this would never happen.

He's not worth it.

He's the most worthless man I ever met. That's right, Nathalie. I kept telling it to myself as I walked towards the main gate of his place. It's not locked so I was able to go out and started walking on the familiar road. I can't believe that he's living near our place. I saw the familiar alley that will lead to my grandma's mansion. I bit my lower lip and realized that perhaps he was just here the whole time, watching me silently. Why? Why would he do that?

Does he really want to make me more upset? To be agitated by the fact that our paths would cross often because he's living near my place? I can't believe him!

I shook my head. I know that he's following me as I continued to walk under the moonlight but I don't really care. All I ever want is to get away from him, to go home and cry in my darkest room.

I let out a heavy sigh. I heard him locking the gate. My hand formed a fist just when I felt his presence behind me. I tried to control my anger and walked in silence. As much as possible, I don't want to say a word because I am done talking to him. Even though he put a coat around my shoulders, I remained quiet and didn't bother yelling at his face.

I just want to be numb so that I won't be able to feel anything. I just want to be numb so that tears won't fall from my eyes again. Is that even possible?

I turned to the familiar alley and he did the same thing. I'm walking slowly and that's what he's doing as well. I hate the fact that we're breathing the same air. He should've stayed out of my life. He should've stayed in Manila and live his life happily. What is he doing here anyway?

Perhaps he felt guilty about what he did. He felt guilty while I felt like dying and that being said, I will continue to hate him for as long as I live.

He invalidated my worth. He left me hanging alone. He's the most devilish person I've ever met.

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I stopped walking when I noticed Chandria who just went outside of the main gate of our house. Her eyes immediately darted on us. Her eyes widened and she looked very worried. She glanced at the man behind me that made her shake her head in disbelief.

"Risha..." he called me in a careful manner.

"I don't want to see you ever again, Zendejas." I said firmly without looking at him.

Chandria gasped for air. She looks shocked after the words that came out from my mouth.

I heard him sigh heavily. He walked near me and I remained in my position, trying to think of the next words I would say to attack his feelings because I realized that I don't need to filter my words simply because he's not worth it.

"I just... damn it..." he uttered a curse fluently. "I wanted to see you... that's why..."

"Stay away from me," I told him coldly.

"I wish I could do so..."

I bit my bottom lip. A flood of tears gushed down my cheeks. I want to know what he meant by that. What stopping him from staying away? Does he really want to kill me emotionally?

"I know that I did a lot of mistakes, Risha..." he said softly. "I understand why you're angry at me. I understand how you feel... I just had to do it. I had no other choice..." he said and I almost heard his pain.

I gasped and turned to meet his gaze. My lips trembled when I saw the sadness and pain painted in his eyes but I don't want to dwell on those emotions anymore.

"Then tell me why did you do it, Evan." I asked him one last time.

With clenching jaw, he closed his lips firmly. He doesn't really want to tell me the reason! Why am I wasting my time on him?

Could it be because of Irish?

I smirked bitterly.

Nathalie, this should be a lesson learned for you. You should not allow yourself to be in a mess with a man who can't forget his first love.

"That was the only option I had, Risha..." he said and then breathed heavily. "I apologize for everything that happened."

I nodded, "You should be. You destroyed my family, Evan. I hope you're already happy. How cruel of you to even show your face in front me. Your existence disgusts me the most." I laughed sarcastically after a longest time. "If you still have the conscience, can you please stay away from me? I don't want to see you. Please let me live happily."

He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. My lips parted and breathed heavily.

"You are not living your life happily, baby. That concerns me the most..." he stated in a sad tone. He stepped closer and my heart almost skipped a beat because of what he did. I stepped back immediately. "Please don't cry, Rish. I can't bear to see you crying like this..."

My eyes widened in disbelief. The searing pain inside my chest became too evident. I shook my head. With tears spilled over my cheeks, I ran away and went home.

"You're making things worst, Evan!" I heard Chandria yelling at him.

He's really unbelievable.