Cannon (Carolina Reapers Book 5)

“Real love? It takes sacrifice. It means you’re willing to lay your body down and take whatever pain you have to in order to keep it from the person you love.”

My mind hadn’t stopped replaying Cannon’s words from our earlier fight, and my heart had yet to stop breaking each time I heard his voice echo in my head.

“Love is what remains when all the fuzzy feelings disappear, and you’re still ready to wage war to protect that person…Jesus, have you ever had to sacrifice for anything?”

“Are you all right, sugar?” Mom asked from her position in the massage chair. I glanced over at her, wondering how she could possibly tell I’d been chewing over the argument Cannon and I had had, but she’d always been good at reading me.

I smiled at the spa specialists who were currently giving us both pedicures. Something my mother and I had scheduled months ago. The day before the wedding prep. And now I wasn’t even sure there would be a wedding. Rehearsal was tonight. Would that be the place we worked things out? Where the skies cleared and the clouds parted, and Cannon would finally realize my love was real and raw and one-hundred percent his?

“I’m fine,” I finally answered.

“It’s normal to get nervous before your wedding,” Mom said.

“I’m not nervous,” I said. “Besides, we’re already married.” Or, at least, I thought we’d been. My father’s news had hit us both over the head, and now I truly didn’t know what to believe. I’d pled my case, and then my mother had walked in, and Cannon had graciously told me to go so she wouldn’t find out the truth. And I couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t not go through with our pre-wedding plans, not when they meant so much to her.

So I put on my bravest, happiest face, and talked about happy things.

Like the fact that she’d be getting the kidney she needed and deserved. The one that would lengthen her life. Allow her to possibly see her grandchildren, if that day ever came for me or Anne.

I smiled, my memory taking me back to when Cannon and I had compared Cerberus to a baby, and the discussion thereafter. My future didn’t make sense without Cannon in it. It just didn’t. But if he didn’t love me…well, that was another matter altogether. One I feared I’d find out about sooner rather than later.

One spa treatment led to another, the rest of my bridal party having treatments done in succession until we were all sparking and ready for rehearsal dinner. I hadn’t seen or heard from Cannon since our argument, and a small piece of me was terrified he’d used that incredible speed of his and bolted. Despite the news of my mother’s fortune on the donor list, I didn’t want to put her through the stress of a missing groom.

But I should’ve known better. Should’ve known Cannon would never do that because I found him waiting by the ballroom door, clad in a luscious all black suit—he’d even put on a tie—just for me.

“You look stunning,” I said, the rawness from our fight evident in my voice.

He held his arm out for me after giving my mother a quick hug. “You’re radiant,” he said as I looped my arm in his. He led me through the ballroom, no mention of our argument, nothing but a firm smile—or as much of one as he’d offer a room full of people—planted on his lips as we were stopped by person after person. All congratulating us. All over the moon happy for us. And if I didn’t think too hard on it, I almost believed them. Yes, their excitement was genuine, but deep down, I could almost make myself believe this was real. That in one day I’d marry the man of my dreams and we’d live happily ever after.

I’m not your happily ever after.

Cannon’s words from months ago echoed through my mind, and I tried not to cringe.

He had warned me.

Told me not to fall for him. Told me in his list of rules, many of which we’d broken—together.

Maybe I had imagined it all—the love I thought I’d felt.

But he’d opened up to me, had given me pieces of himself he’d never given anyone else. That had to count for something. Maybe I should take those pieces and be grateful I’d received that much. Maybe I had yet to prove myself enough to him. Maybe—

“Persephone?” My name on his lips drew me out of my thoughts, and I found him reaching for me, somewhere in my battling we’d gotten separated. “It’s time for dinner.”

I nodded and took his hand, allowed him to lead me up to the table positioned on a stage off to the right of the tables situated around the ballroom floor. Took my seat and thanked my server as food and champagne was delivered all around.

I could barely eat from the twisting in my stomach, but I forced bites down, knowing my mother watched me with weighted eyes. My father too. They could tell, even if both of them didn’t know the full truth of my anxiousness.

Cannon ate in silence, but touched me sweetly, an arm around my shoulder, a chaste kiss on my forehead. All for show. All so my mother’s heart wouldn’t be broken.

After the plates had been cleared, Logan tapped his knife against his champagne flute, rising from his seat as all eyes fell on him. “I believe it’s my turn to make a toast,” he said, the room quieting. My stomach clenched at the happiness in his eyes. “I was shocked and honored when Cannon asked me to be one of his best men.” He grinned at the Reaper table behind him, packed with the men I’d come to think of as family. “As you know, he had many to choose from.” A collective laugh from the crowd. “Those who come to know Cannon will understand his fierce loyalty to his friends and his teammates, his true family. And I can tell you that Persephone fit right into that family, from that very first day she came crashing into our world. And we’re all so grateful that Cannon was quick enough to catch her.”

A smaller group of laughter, for those close enough to know that I’d literally fallen into Cannon’s arms the first time we’d met. He’d caught me on instinct as if he’d already been prepared to protect me before he’d met me.

“Cannon, you’re one of my best friends, my brother on the ice, and one of the scariest yet most compassionate people I know.” Logan raised his glass. “I wish you and your lovely bride the very best in the long, long years to come.”

The crowd clapped and raised their glasses as well, and tears pooled into my eyes. Logan’s genuine love for his friend stung every inch of my heart. I was a fool. A damned fool for letting it get this far. For thinking my love would be enough for both of us. For thinking he’d want to stay in this marriage with me after…after everything. Now it wouldn’t only be me and mine who were hurt, but all of us. Our family. His family.

“Now it’s time for the sister of the bride to say a few words,” My father announced, and a new wave of panic hit me. I didn’t think Anne had wanted to do a toast, let alone prepare one. I certainly hadn’t asked her to.

“Thank you,” she said as she stood to the claps of the people around her. She flipped her hair over her shoulder, the move as sharp as a razor. “My sweet, perfect sister,” she said, and I swallowed hard. “You were the best in school, the best in all your extracurriculars, and well, just about the brightest star this town has ever seen.” Some awws came from the crowd, but cold fear licked my spine. “It’s safe to say that my perfect sister Persephone has never once made a real mistake in her entire life.” She raised her glass toward me, and I couldn’t help but feel like she aimed some sort of weapon at me with the way her eyes sharpened. “But let’s be real for a second,” she continued. “We’re all human. Everyone makes mistakes. And Persephone has finally joined the human crowd and made one. Because we all know why we’re truly here.” She glanced around at the confused faces, a smirk of pure delight on her face, the glaze of a few too many drinks coating her eyes.

Cannon’s hand found mine under the table, a steady comfort in an otherwise raging sea.

“A bottle of Ambien,” she said, laughing loudly and showing a bit of shock when no one joined her. “I mean, come on,” she pressed. “These two?” She shook her head. “Never ever ever would’ve happened if it weren’t for that mistake in Vegas.”

I squeezed Cannon’s hand harder.

My father bolted from his seat, ushering Anne off the floor.

“Congrats!” she bellowed as he guided her from the room.

Lillian popped up from her seat, grabbing the abandoned microphone from my sister’s table. “Well,” she said. “Sisters. I’m pretty sure wanting to murder them and hug them in the span of a breath comes in the title description, am I right?” The crowd laughed, happy to have a different person to focus on. “I’m sure what she meant to say was that you two are amazing together, and we all wish you the absolute best.” She glanced around the room. “Who wants to dance?” She waved her hand where the DJ had set up in the corner of the ballroom, and soon, music filtered through the speakers.

The dancefloor filled and drinks were poured and little desserts were offered on silver trays by waiters that flowed in and out of the room.

I let go of Cannon’s hand, pushing away from the table. Needing to escape for a moment or a lifetime, I wasn’t sure.

I hated that my sister had put a voice to one of Cannon’s fears. Had breathed life into something I’d been trying desperately to quash. And I knew I was strong, knew I had to be to love a man like Cannon, but I didn’t know how much fight I had left in me.

Because in the end, no amount of fight would prove my love.

And no amount of fight would make him love me back.