Chapter 26 - Mouse and cat
CH –MOUSE AND CAT
Thomas awoke to a tender touch, something he hadn’t felt in what seemed like ages. Slender fingers worked their way methodically back and forth across his forehead. He smelled an alluring perfume that lingered in his nostrils. It was pleasant and refreshing. Opening his eyes, he saw the decorative ceiling of Barb’s room. Everything was blissfully peaceful. Everything was quiet. But soon his mind was busy revving itself up. All the things that had happened came back to him, taking his breath away. Feeling a sudden sense of panic, he bolted upright, frightening Barb who had been tending to his wounds.
“Thomas, don’t do that to me!”
His mind rapidly came to the present. He looked at Barb, who was holding a damp rag and bowl. She had been taking care of him the entire time.
“How long was I out?”
Barb smiled gingerly before dabbing at his face again.
“A few hours—you pretty much ruined my bed sheets—thanks.”
Thomas smiled. He had missed Barb’s thorny wit. He felt much better than before, despite his ongoing fatigue.
“I’m not safe staying here . . . they’re probably looking for me.”
Barb’s smile continued.
“Then let them. As far as I’m concerned, you don’t exist. And I’m an excellent liar, unlike you. I am a psychiatrist, after all.”
“He wanted me to help him, Barb . . . the killer. When I refused, he tried to kill me.”
Thomas could still feel the powerful fingers clutching his throat.
“Don’t blame him. Having someone like you on his side would definitely sway the teeter-totter.”
Barb paused for a moment and Thomas gazed up at her. She had a strange look about her; one he had seen a few times before; she looked as if she cared for him. Thomas put his guard up, realizing that he had lingered a touch too long on her eyes.
“Doubt that. All I’m good at his burning down bridges and pissing people off.”
Barb plopped the soaked rag into the bowl and shook her head.
“You’ve pissed me off and I’m still here. Besides, I think I’ve lost my mind.”
“What do you mean?”
“All of the things you’ve told me about—a murdering time traveler, the disasters, the secret organization, and Freud knows what else, may he rest in peace. Thomas, I’m actually starting to believe them. The other day I was doing some laundry and couldn’t find one of my black socks. I always keep things organized and know for a fact that it had to have been by my bed. But something had changed; isn’t that how it works?”
Thomas smiled. He glanced over at Barb’s feline companion who was chewing on a pile of black threads.
“Barb, your attention to detail astounds me.”
She crossed her arms and let out a puff of frustration.
“You’re not taking me seriously? You think I can’t understand something like this? I’m seriously losing it here.”
Thomas took her hand.
“Barb, trust me, it’s real. And that’s what worries me the most. That’s what I was trying to say; you’re not safe around me. This guy’s a seriously bad egg who will stop at nothing to finish what he’s started. And now that I’ve thoroughly upset him, I’m as good as dead.”
Barb absentmindedly pulled a pen from her pocket and began gnawing on its end nervously.
“Maybe not.”
“Maybe not? Haven’t you been paying attention? And in case you’ve forgotten, I’m the one who keeps ending up in a hospital or your apartment, not him. This guy’s too good.”
“Would you just shut up and let me think?” Barb said, rolling her eyes.
Thomas puckered his lips and pouted. There was something about Barb’s feisty side that intrigued him. A few moments went by as Barb paced in a tiny circle in her room before collapsing into an arm chair in the corner. She sighed a few times before finally speaking.
“Screw it, just screw it. This is such a bad idea, but the hell with it.”
Barb sat up and crossed her legs. Her professional demeanor had returned. She looked at Thomas like she used to; a patient she was examining.
“Maybe you’re right. He’s just too good. But even the too-goods have weak points. I mean, from what you’ve told me, this person has some serious issues with this organization, and all of humanity, in some deranged way. Perhaps it takes understanding him a bit more.”
“But you know I can’t do that. I barely register as a normal human being, let alone one who understands people. Just give me the facts.”
“Then, like I said, screw it. Make him chase you. You’ve been getting beat to hell and he’s been leading you around by the nose. Maybe it’s time you start doing the leading.”
Thomas took a deep breath. The thought had crossed his mind many times before. But the rules were clear; one does not go gallivanting into the past for any reason other than to protect it. And he knew his way was anything but the right way to do things. He could potentially open Pandora’s Box.
“So just sit back and watch the world burn down? I’m not following you here, Barb.”
“No, not burn down, per say, just hit with a little controlled bonfire. Find a pressure point and start pushing. We all have them. I’ve known you for a long time now and we both know you’re good at being especially aggravating. With your ridiculous attention to detail, there’s got to be something you could scrounge up. Isn’t there?”
Thomas pondered over the entirety of what had happened. So many hazy dots and connections streamed through his mind. But one picture was clear—Roslin. Either he was involved or he was being victimized, tortured. Roslin was as good a starting point as any, and there was also the woman.
“There was a woman. He took me to her. Tricked me into taking the bait. But when I got there she was long gone, frozen to death on the mountain. She had scribbled something on the wall—a name—one I haven’t been able to connect to any of this. She’s obviously someone near-and-dear to this psycho. The only question left is who is she?”
Barb uncrossed her legs and slouched forward onto her elbows.
“Bingo. The deranged psychopath used to be a sweet little lover boy. Or maybe she was family, or a near friend? No way of really knowing. Did you see him with her?”
Thomas shook his head.
“He took me away before anything else could happen. He just wanted me to see it.”
“Then what?”
“I saw a bunch of men fighting. They looked to be on opposing sides of an argument. Two of them, Roslin and Banks, are guys I’ve been working with. Both of them looked very upset. But I’ve been around them many times now, and have never seen them behave like that. Banks’s pretty much Roslin’s little stooge, and Roslin’s just a complete jerk. But their eyes were so angry.”
“That’s a start. Maybe that’s the hole worth going down.”
“I was told I could never come back. Like I said, I’m really good at burning bridges.”
“Thomas, if any brilliantly gifted, unemployed, practically homeless man can figure out a way, you can. I’ve got faith in you.”
“I think you were right, Barb. Pretty much like always.”
“You’ve got my attention. Please indulge me.”
“You were right about finding a purpose. I think Jen would have wanted me to keep doing this. It’s just a messed up situation, is all. Something that feels so right, and yet, it’s so wrong.”
“That’s not surprising. It’s always difficult to discern between the two. It’s a fine line to walk.”
“The two?”
Barb pursed her lips, putting on an impish smile.
“Good and evil. It’s in all of us. We all like to believe we’ve got a halo floating above our heads, but the truth is, we don’t. I’ve often questioned how capable a person really is of doing things completely out of character when dropped into the right circumstances. A disaster, a tragic loss, a change of heart; these things intrigue me.
“You always had a way with words, Barb. Full disclosure—I’m not even sure I know which side I’m on. Am I supposed to care that a bunch of underworld thugs got buried in rubble? Am I supposed to care that some secret organization’s agents were plucked out of existence? In truth, I really don’t care, and yet I do. It’s confusing.”
Barb stifled a chuckle. She let her eyes fall on Thomas and linger. She found him to be delightfully complex.
“This is why I missed you. No matter how hard I try, I almost never understand you. You’re like my own personal crazy koosh ball. I just want to keep squeezing until something finally happens.”
Thomas rolled his eyes and sneered.
“Barb, are you sure that you’re not already skirting that fine line we just talked about? Maybe your halo is starting to droop a bit.”
“My halo? Oh, that old thing? It’s been in the closet for years; haven’t even dusted it off.”
Thomas smiled. For a moment he had forgotten where he was and what he had just been through. He thought there might be something special forming between the two of them. But he quickly dismissed the notion. His heart was still an ice box to which there was no key. The idea of it, however, still remained, tantalizing his imagination.
“You naughty girl. You know that things are going to get ugly if I do this. I can’t imagine what’s going to happen next.”
Barb’s demeanor adjusted itself into one of a more serious nature. She was thinking through what she had suggested—it was both sweet and sour—a chance to end the madness, but at the expense of even more catastrophe. What other choice did they have? Thomas swung his legs over the side of the bed and let the fresh air sift into his lungs. Could he really do this? Alone?
“I need to get going. There are some things I need to do.”
Thomas stood up slowly. His movement was akin to a rusty, mechanical robot. But he was still alive. He had meant it when he’d said he would die trying. If this was his only purpose left in life then he would defend it as such. He covered his eyes for just a moment, suddenly feeling a chill of darkness sweep through his mind. The dark mask of the killer plagued him like some incessant disease. It was always there, watching. He wanted desperately to rip it off, put a face to the crimes, the injustices. He wanted a target at which to expend his deeply buried hatred. Looking up, he saw his hat on the edge of the dresser. It reminded him of so many things now.
“My uncanny desperado. It’s a wonder how a man like you stays single.”
Thomas put on a cheesy smirk that quickly faded away.
“I still think you should leave town, get out of here. I mean it, Barb. It’s just not safe anymore.”
Barb put her own façade of seriousness on.
“That’s not going to happen, Tommy. It’ll take more than a time traveling killer psychopath to make me leave my apartment. It’s taken me this long just to get my own parking spot.”
She looked like she couldn’t really believe she was actually saying that. But she had left all logic behind when she had decided to share this nightmare with Thomas.
“I’ll be coming back. Not to sound cheesy, but you’re all I’ve got now.”
Barb’s face softened. Her eyes were talking again. But with a few blinks, the moment had passed.
“You know where to find me. I’m a creature of only two worlds at this point; the office or home.”
Thomas looked back down at the bed to see fresh linens had been stretched over it.
“Yes, you owe me some new sheets. A girl like me likes to be pampered, so you’ll understand when you get the bill. Not to mention the clean-up,” Barb said, drawing a circle around her own face.
Thomas smiled as he headed towards the door. Once there, he paused. He briefly wondered if what he was about to do was right or not. It was all so convoluted, it didn’t matter. Turning the doorknob, he opened the door and began stepping out.
“I didn’t think women like you ever slept. We’ll talk about the bill later.”
Thomas shut the door, cutting off Barb’s retort.
I got the last word. Barb will love that.
Looking at his wrist, he let out a sigh of relief to see the dimmed lights of his watch staring back. Although he knew that the organization couldn’t track him directly, they’d undoubtedly be able to see his glimpse to the past. Or would they? The intricacies of the brink technology were like a magic show to him. Smoke and mirrors with the real guts of it hidden beneath absurd complexity. It would take someone like Jo a million years to dumb it down enough for him to understand it fully. But all he cared about were the results. The technology was a means to an end. That’s when it hit him; he was acting just like Roslin; hiding in the shadows, keeping secrets, going behind everyone’s back. Was he becoming the very monster he so loathed?
What’s happening to you, Tommy?
He stepped away from Barb’s apartment building and worked himself into a wide alleyway. He hadn’t spent much time on this side of town. It was well outside his territory from his days on the job. But it still felt like home. He saw a man covered in rubbish sitting next to a large trash can. When he noticed Thomas, he looked offended and straightened up. As Thomas began fumbling with his watch to plug in some coordinates, he heard the man grumbling.
“Not another one of you freaks! Why can’t you people just leave me alone? First the gangly one, now you . . .”
Thomas disregarded the comment, his thoughts elsewhere. He looked at the display on his watch which was prompting him to enter some coordinates. He had watched Jo read them off and had learned how to put them in. But for some reason, this time, he paused.
I shouldn’t do this, should I?
He knew it was wrong, and yet it felt very right in this moment. To senselessly indulge in the idea of it was intoxicating. Perhaps his time with Barb had accidentally left the door to the cage of his locked-up emotions slightly ajar. It felt uncontrollable. A need he had to satiate. A selfish desire he wanted to indulge.
Damnit it, Tommy, just let it go. Why are you doing this?
With trembling fingers, he punched in the date and time. He knew it like the back of his hand, down to the very second. It had been seared into the very tissue of his brain. It was a place in time that would never be forgotten by him. He took a deep breath. Was he merely damning himself to a tortuous circle? Why was he doing this? In a tornado of fragmented light, it no longer mattered. His heart ached with an insufferable pain. His worst nightmare had returned.