novelxo Break My Heart: Chapter 38
The harsh fluorescent lights of the police station make everything feel surreal, like I’m watching my own life unfold from the outside. It’s a peculiar sensation. I sit in the small, stiff chair, with my parents on either side of me. Their hands clasp mine, offering silent support. My body still hums with nervous energy, but my mind feels distant.
Numb.
I still can’t believe this happened.
That Nathan would—
The officer sitting across from us closes his notebook, his expression remaining neutral.
“We’ll be in contact if we have any further questions,” he says. “Nathan is at the hospital. The guy is lucky to be alive.”
“What happens now?” my dad asks, his voice low and steady, but I can hear the tension fighting to break through.
“A psych evaluation, for starters,” the officer replies. “And then, depending on the results, he’ll be charged. Stalking, assault, illegal possession of a firearm. He’s not walking away from this.”
His words should have relief flooding through me that it’s finally over, but instead, all I feel is exhaustion, a bone-deep tiredness that makes it hard to think, hard to breathe. I just want to go home and pretend this nightmare never happened.
It’s almost difficult to believe there was ever a time when I thanked my lucky stars that Nathan Covington found me, saw something in me that I didn’t realize was there, plucking me from obscurity.
Now the opposite is true.
“Thank you, Officer,” my mom says softly, squeezing my hand. I nod, my eyes fixed on the door, only wanting to get the hell out of here. I want to fall face-first into bed and sleep for days. Long enough to forget about the terror pumping through my veins when he’d pointed that gun at me. I never believed it when people said their lives flashed before their eyes, but that’s exactly what happened.
We stand to leave, and I follow my parents out of the room. I appreciate their comforting presence now more than ever. As we walk into the lobby, my heart stutters in my chest when I catch sight of Hayes. I wasn’t sure if he would take off after the police were done talking to him.
He jumps to his feet the moment he sees us, his face a mix of relief and something else.
Guilt, maybe?
My pulse quickens, and it takes everything I have inside not to run to him. To throw myself into his arms and forget about everything that happened.
But I don’t.
I can’t.
We’re not together.
Maybe we were never really together.
That thought cuts as deep as a knife.
Hayes shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans as his gaze searches mine. “Do you have a moment to talk?”
Dad steps forward, his protective instincts kicking in. “I think it would be best if you and Ava spoke another time,” he says. “She’s pretty shaken up.”
“I’m so sorry I didn’t get there sooner,” Hayes whispers, his voice low and thick with regret. He looks at me again, and the weight of his words presses on my chest.
What if he’d gotten there ten minutes later?
Or not at all?
A shiver scurries down my spine, not wanting to imagine either of those scenarios playing out.
“It’s not your fault.” I glance at my parents as guilt threatens to swallow me whole. “I should have told them about the texts. Or that I thought I saw him following me.” I shrug, wishing it were possible to go back in time and make different decisions. Better ones. “I thought I was just being paranoid.”
When a heavy silence falls over our group, Dad’s hand settles gently against my back, attempting to steer me toward the exit.
It’s a surprise when Hayes steps in front of us, desperation flooding his green eyes. “Please, Coach? It’s important.”
Dad hesitates before shooting a glance at me. “Is that what you want?”
I nod, unable to trust my voice, as my mom brushes a kiss against my forehead.
“All right. We’ll wait in the car.” Dad squeezes my hand before wrapping an arm around my mother. She leans her head against his broad shoulder. Barely do I hear the soft sob that escapes her as they walk out, leaving me alone with Hayes.
The moment the door swings shut behind them, I feel the weight of Hayes’s gaze pinning me in place.
He looks wrecked.
His eyes are full of an apology that doesn’t need words.
“I’m so sorry, Ava. For everything,” he says, his voice hoarse. “I thought I was making the best decision for both of us, but it turned out to be the wrong one.”
I frown as confusion mixes with the swirl of emotions I’m still trying to manage. “I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”
“Your dad told me about the coach who wants to work with you.” Remorse clouds his face as he looks away. “I thought if I ended things, you’d move to Colorado to focus on skating, and that you’d be safe there.”
“He did?” With that, understanding dawns. I exhale as the pieces finally click into place. “Is that why you were with those girls? Why you pretended we were nothing more than a hookup?”
He drags a hand through his mussed hair, and I get the feeling I’m not the only one trying to keep it together. “Yeah. You’re too damn talented not to compete. I didn’t want to be the reason you didn’t reach your full potential.”
I shake my head as frustration bubbles up inside me. “That wasn’t your decision to make.”
“You’re right,” he says, his voice rough. “It wasn’t. And I’m sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you. I just…” He pauses, his jaw clenched. “I only wanted what was best for you.”
Silence stretches between us as the tension turns oppressive. I search his eyes, desperate to see the truth behind his words.
“Did you ever consider that you’re what’s best for me?”
As soon as the question is out of my mouth, Hayes steps forward, bridging the distance between us. My breath catches when his hand rises to cup my cheek, and his thumb brushes against my skin.
“If that’s true,” he admits, seriousness shining brightly from his eyes, “then I would consider myself the luckiest bastard in the world.”
Unable to hold back for another second, I lean in so my lips can drift over his. The kiss starts off soft, almost tentative, as if we’re both testing the waters. It doesn’t take long for the floodgates to open, and everything I’ve been holding back—the fear, the pain, the longing—pours out into that one caress.
Hayes tugs me closer before wrapping his arms around me, as if he’ll never let go, and for the first time since this nightmare began, I finally feel safe.
Really, truly safe.
And I know with every fiber of my being that this is exactly where I’m supposed to be.