Bound by Moon & Blood (Book 1)

Liv’s smile fell as Nessa and the kids disappeared into the house. She dropped her head as her lip trembled and the pain of her power still coursed through her belly. She couldn’t believe that she had actually healed them, but she also couldn’t be happy about it. It was her fault that they were hurt in the first place. The longer she was here the more shit was going to happen and she was responsible for all of it.

The flashbacks of herself getting hurt by King or his wolves whenever she tried to help her mother were still branded in her mind. A sob left her mouth as she bended and laid her forehead against the grass and cried. She couldn’t take all of this anymore. Two kids got hurt because of her! They don’t deserve that! No one, no matter what, deserves to be beaten up like a dog only because they are defending someone else, but kids... Two human kids?!

This whole situation has become a clusterfuck and she was drowning in it. She was drowning and she didn’t even want to swim anymore.

She didn’t want to save herself anymore. Why would she want to?! If she were to lose control and shift into her wolf skin, she may be responsible for the death of countless wolf as she won’t be able to control herself!

Why would she want to save herself to remain in a life that has been constant pain and survival?

Why would she keep fighting if she has nothing left to fight for?

Her parents are dead, her pack is dead, her sister will soon be dead as well and then she will truly have no one left in this world.

That realization broke a dam inside of her and her tears started to fall rapidly. Another sob left her mouth as it dawned on her that she was starting to give up on everything. The one thing she had always refused to do was forcing its way out and she had no strength left to fight it. There was nothing left to fight for. She had nothing left. Not even her life was her own. King got control of that the moment he killed her pack. Her life has never been her own, not even when she was free of him for eleven years. It was because of him that she forced herself to stop the shift. Because of him she became a mercenary to stay under the radar and out of his grasp. Everything that happened in her life is because of him and she just couldn’t stand it anymore. She couldn’t take it anymore.

No.

She wasn’t going to do this. She wasn’t going to let her destructive thoughts win. Even if she had nothing left to fight for, she wasn’t going to give up. No matter how much she wanted to drown, she wasn’t going to give in. Not as long as the monster responsible for everything still walks this earth.

Slowly, Liv pushed herself up and looked out over the lake as a breeze made her hair dance. Reason and madness had started a war inside of her and if she wasn’t careful, they were going to pull her under with it. She needed to get a grip on herself. She needed a clear mind and there was only one way to get it.

Liv got up from the ground and started to walk forward into the lake. It was freezing cold, but she had always been used to it. Liv drowned out everything, every sound, smell and feeling except for the feeling of the water on her skin. Liv took a deep breath as she dove into the water. Cold enveloped her, it made her lungs scream, but she held on. She swam until a dangerous hum started in her chest. Liv stopped swimming and held herself underwater at the same spot as she looked at the endless water in front of her. There was nothing there to see, but the feeling told her everything she needed to know. It was the barrier. The border of King’s pack; the one thing that could doom her. She was so close to it, if she were to reach out, her arm would cross it. King had said that the collar would paralyze her if she would cross the border. Here in the water, it could mean that, before they would get her, she would die. She kept looking at it as her lungs slowly started to scream for air and wondered. Wondered, why she didn’t feel an urge to cross it even though her mind wanted to succumb to defeat just seconds ago. Liv closed her eyes and focused on nothing more than cold on her skin. Her thoughts had gone silent in the lake and she could finally get a sense of logic again. No, she wasn’t going to kill herself, she was going to make sure that everyone who ever hurt her or those she loved will pay for their crimes and die by her hand. She may not join her loved ones in death just yet, but she will honor them and give them justice. She will give everyone, who have been hurt or wronged by King or his goons, justice.

Just as she was going to push herself up to give her lungs the air they were screaming for, an arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her backwards. Shock invaded her senses. Liv struggled in her captors grasp as she was pulled above the water and to the shore. Her captor released her in the shallow water and Liv yelped as she fell down. It was shallow enough that the water now reached her waist as she turned on her knees and yelled at the fucker. “What the fuck!?” Her eyes met those of a furious and wet Caden who was standing before her. “You could have drowned me!” She spat as she pushed to her feet and got up in his face.

“It looked to me like you were doing a perfectly good job doing that yourself!” He snarled back at her. His eyes had become amber again and she could tell that the wolf inside of him was close to the surface. Not that she really cared, but she became mor vigilant nonetheless.

“I wasn’t trying to drown myself, you moron!”

“Oh really, then what the fuck were you doing underwater and only a couple of inches away from the fucking border?!” It did look bad. Liv released a long sigh before she looked out over the water. Liv threw her soaked hair on her back and removed the locks that were plastered to her face as she looked back. “I wasn’t trying to kill myself.” Her voice lost the anger she had felt. “I was just trying to clear my mind who was trying to convince me to drown myself.” Liv explained as she turned and sat down in the lake. The water reaching her waist again.

“And you couldn’t do that another way?” Caden was still pissed. Not that she blamed him, but the condescending tone in his voice made her want to snarl at him. She didn’t answer him. When she also didn’t look at him, she heard him sigh before the water moved and he sat down next to her. They didn’t speak for a while and somehow her thoughts stayed silent as the hateful Alpha sat next to her.

“Why the lake?” Caden broke the silence. She looked at him, before she looked at her hands in the water. Ripples formed where the drops from her body fell.

“In Greenland, there was a lake close to my pack.” She could feel Caden’s eyes on her as she started to tell her story and looked out over the lake. “When I was five, I started to explore and one day I found it. A lake that reached so far, I could only see the trees or the mountains that indicated the shore. In the middle was a small island which held these gorgeous white gemstones which I had never seen anywhere else. It was so beautiful and quiet. It was like the landscape had never been touched by any living being, even though it was close to the pack. Yet there were never any pawprints or footsteps in the snow. It was like I was the only one who was granted permission to enter the landscape. Whenever I was overwhelmed or when I wanted to be alone or gather my thoughts, I would go to the lake and swim in the freezing aquamarine waters. It soon became my haven and the island my little territory in the vast territory of my parents. I was always sure that my parents knew where I was running off to every day, but they never followed. They allowed me to keep it to myself and to this day it is still the only place where I ever truly felt like...” Liv released a small breath as she dropped her head, before looking at Caden who was looking at her intently. “What?”

“I never hear you talk of your home.” That’s because she almost never did, but she had wanted to tell him. She had wanted to tell herself. To relive the memory of something good and peaceful. “You asked why the lake and that is the reason why.” She said with a small smile. “I never talk about it because most of the time it is too painful.” Her smile fell as she looked at her hands again.

“Talking about something you lost is always painful. Especially when you’re a wolf.” Liv hummed. “Sucks being a wolf sometimes, huh?”

“It sure does.”

Liv looked at Caden who was looking out over the lake with a grim look. His face told her that he knew the feeling just as well as she did. “You’re staring.” Her eyes snapped to his and met his silver ones. “You really are a complicated case.” The corners of his mouth tipped up. “That’s because I don’t let people get to know me.”

“No, it’s because you don’t let people get to know the real you.” She corrected. “No one here knows who you really are, do they?” He narrowed his eyes at her as his smile spread a little more. “Some do. You aren’t one of them.”

“Yeah, no shit sherlock.” Caden chuckled a little.

“You don’t need to know who I truly am, Moonblood. At least not yet.” She released a long sigh. “And yet, you do everything in your power to learn who I truly am.” A crooked smile replaced his small one.

“Don’t blame me for you dropping your guard and letting me see through your cracks.”

“Oh, I do blame you and I don’t accept it anymore.” She turned so she was facing him. “You say that you need me to bring King down, but that doesn’t mean that I will just help you just because I want to kill him too. You want my help? Then is going to cost you.”

“What makes you think you can demand anything?”

“The fact that I hold the power you need and won’t lift a finger unless you hold up your end of the bargain.” Caden turned a little more towards her as well. “You do know that I can very simply lock you up and force you to help me.” Liv leaned a little more forward and allowed her eyes to glow with her power. “And you do know that you cannot do shit to me as long as we’re in Kings pack, so your threats are empty.” A slow but cruel smile formed on his lips. “Oh, are they now?” A shiver ran down her spine, but she refused to let him see it. “Unless you have a way out of this pack, which I doubt, yes, they are. Or do you want to enlighten me?” She tilted her head to the side. A muscle ticked in Caden’s jaw.

He had a way out of the pack. Holy shit...

“You’re playing a dangerous game, Moonblood.”

“And you are losing it, Wolf.” She leaned even closer. “You want my help to kill King? Then you are going to have to give me answers in return, or I’ll make sure to contact Finnegan and tell him that I’ll work with him.” His eyes shifted to green before they became amber as rage took over his body. She still wondered why that happened with him. No other wolf had ever shown green when their eyes shifted to amber.

Liv allowed a little more power to glow in her own eyes. She wasn’t going to cower before him. She never will and the feeling that it brought was one she was going to get drunk on if she wasn’t careful.

“It’s your choice, wolf.” She said before she got up and walked away.