Behind The Alpha Series Book 3 NALA

JESSE

We rode for three days and stopped in at a small labor town called Severn Station, outside of Phoenix. Mostly miners lived and showed up here to work.

We bought rooms in a rooming house to stay for the night.

I hardly slept. I feel it in my bones. Deep in my blood. She’s so in me, I can’t cut her out.

I laid beside her as she slept. The moonlight shining on her smooth skin. I slide her hair back and watch her breath. I don’t even deserve this single moment. A worthless dog like me shouldn’t even be this close to her. But fuck, how I feel…I don’t want to feel it because I know the minute I admit it, even to myself, she’ll disappear into the night sky.

I don’t want her to leave me so, I won’t even think the words she wants me to say.

As the light from the single candle in the room plays on her hair and cheek, I plaster her right in my mind. I'll never forget her smile. The feel of her touch. I’ll remember that for the rest of my life. I'll soak up every bit of her. Dance with her. Thank every star for giving her to me.

My beautiful Sweet Pea.

I breathe deep as she stirs. Her big, brown eyes flutter open and I smile.

“Howdy.” I whisper.

She smiles too. “Hello.”

I adjust my arm under my pillow. “Why are you awake?”

“I don’t know. I guess I sensed you were.” Her voice is so soft.

“I was just layin' here thinkin’ how lucky I am. I’m tryin' to figure out what I did to git you and for the life of me, I can’t think of one damn thing.” I gaze into her eyes.

She scoots closer and lays on my arm. “It’s not luck. It’s fate. I was meant to meet you. I'm meant to be here…with you.”

“But why? Why you? I've done some horrible things. I…I know my life won’t be much. It never was meant to be much. Why would fate lead me to someone who…who’s so full of light. Who has so much to give everyone else. Why?” I furrow my brow in confusion.

She smiles. “You needed it the most, Jesse. I was sent you. Sent to you to show you that everything you think about you is wrong. Yes, you’ve done some bad things, but it’s not about that. It’s about the horrible things you do to yourself. The torture you put on your soul. I’m here to show you where your light is.”

I grab her hand and hold her fingers in mine. I kiss her tips and place it on my cheek. “I wanna be a good man. I wanna do what’s right…” I swallow my growing hurt. “I’m a coward, Penelope. It’s easier just to be this than be that. I don’t think I have the strength to do what I have to do.”

She gently kisses my lips. She pulls back and her thumb rubs my scruff. “You have the strength to move mountains inside. You have the love to carry you to through so much dark. You have so much courage. I see you. I do. I can love you with all my heart. It’s time. Time to push the dark away and love yourself.”

I smile and bite my lower lip. “Just let it go. Just like that.”

“Just like that.” She nods with a grin. “Just close your eyes and let it go.”

I nod. I take a deep breath in and close my eyes. She rests her head on mine.

“Push it away. Open your heart and let the darkness and pain fade away.” I hear her whisper.

That night in Greece entered my mind almost immediately.

The screams, the explosion, the cries of my father all seemed to melt away as Penelope held my head. It’s like she was in me. Helping me let my mother go. Let the pain of my father go. The last of my sisters leaving me faded into the black. Then I felt something I didn’t think I would. A sense of calm, warming peace. Without opening my eyes, I pull her into me and hold her skin to mine. I feel her light. I feel her goodness and her faith in me. For the first time since I met her, I feel her. All of her. She’s pulling me out. Pulling me away from the haunting of my past.

I find her lips and kiss her with all the passion I feel for her right now. I feel complete. I feel I belong with her. She’s mine. All mine. She was brought to me because I needed fixing and she was the only one to do it.

I slowly roll on top and kiss her so deep. I still may not be able to say those words, but I sure as hell will show her.

I spread her legs with my knees and press my shaft on her core. I rock my hips and she whimpers on my lips. Between the moonlight and my heart, this is my new memory. Right now. Laying with her with all that I feel inside.

I gently feel the electric feel of her skin. I soak in her taste. I feel her wetness on my dick.

I pull my hips back and my dick finds her entrance. I push it in slowly as she moans. I break the kiss and taste her skin. I push her hips up to get nice and deep.

“Jesse…” She breathes.

“Pea…I…” I nip and suck her ear and neck, stopping myself. I want to. So bad.

I rock my hips a little faster and thrust my length in her. I cup her breasts and roll her nipples in my teeth. I lick and kiss her breasts and chest.

Her fingers thread into my hair and she holds my cheeks. Her body waves and matches my movements. The two of us are now perfect. So perfect. Our bodies feel like one.

My hands feel every inch of her milky skin. The feel of her crawls all over me, but it feels so damn good. I want her to feel all the pleasure I have to give to her.

“Yesss…” She moans a little louder and I give her all of my length as I get harder with every stroke.

I bring her legs up higher and pump her pussy harder. I feel her tense and shake under me.

Her moans turn to soft screams as my dick thrusts faster.

“God, Pea…so good…” I pant on her lips. I engulf her lips and hold her hands above her head. I bite her chest and increase my strokes.

I’m feeling it all. I’m remembering it all because if this goes the way I think it will, I don’t ever want to forget. God, don’t let me forget.

I groan in her kiss as her pussy tightens around me.

“YES, JESSE…YESSS!”

“God, baby…you’re so beautiful.” I growl as I lock her eyes.

I hold her cheek and hit her pussy hard as her muscles squeeze me. I stare into her gorgeous face as I feel her come undone.

She arches and screams as I increase even more speed and go deeper. Her come soaks me. Her screams arouse me even more. I feel it build.

“YESSS, JESSE!”

Her screaming my name sent me right over the edge. My balls slam up and I release deep inside her. I slam her lips and growl as my come fires into her until I’m spent.

I continue kissing her as I slow down and stop.

She’s everything I want. She’s everything I need.

She’s mine and I can’t have her.

I pull out and suck her bottom lip as I slide off her. I hold the back of her head and pull her into my chest.

Our hearts beat at the same time and I just lay and listen to them.

“That was wonderful.” She pants.

“Ya, it was.” I kiss her forehead and adjust to my back. She cuddles into me.

“It felt different.” She says, tracing my muscles with her fingers.

“It did?” I glance at her.

“It felt…honest.” She looks up at me.

“I’m always honest when I lay with you.” I cock my head.

“Not this way. I think I felt your heart open.” She smiles.

I smile back. “You bring out the best in me.”

I cuddle more and kiss her head. “Git some sleep.”

She settles in my arms and I think, why move? Can we just stay here like we’re frozen? Just the two of us. Like this forever? No world. No demons. No angels. Just me and my Sweet Pea. Why does anything have to change? Haven’t I paid enough? Can she be my reward for the last 600 years? She’s the biggest score of my life. I wanna keep her.

I decided I needed to stop thinking and just enjoy the moment as I fall asleep when she shot up and grabbed her head.

“AHHHH!” She bent over.

“Pea? What is it? What’s wrong?” I sit up in a panic.

“The voices…They hurt…ugh….Just stop!” Her fingers grip her hair like she’s about to pull it out.

I lean over to see her face. “Caliel?”

“Ah!...Yes…” He grits.

“What’s going on? What voices?” I place a hand on her back and try to help calm him down.

With a shaky hand, he points up.

“STOP!” He growls in his own voice.

“Caliel. What do they want?” I say in a low tone.

“Me home.” He tries to catch his breath.

I lean closer. “Then go.” I whisper.

He rolls Penelope’s head to me. His dark silver eyes hold so much pain. “I can’t…Not yet…The future…It’s not secure…” He says as he weakens.

“Ya ain’t getting better, buddy. It’s clear yer suffering.” I stare into his eyes as my brows stitch up.

“I know. The longer I’m in her…the more I die. A guardian…angel…wasn’t created for this much…responsibility…” He narrows his eyes further.

“Then don’t. I got this. I can take it from here.” I place a hand on Penelope’s hair.

He shakes his head. “I’m not leaving you. I need to make sure…AHH!” He holds her head again. Her hands shake even more.

“Ok. Fine. Is there anything I can do?” I ask.

He raises his head. “You could take some of it. Just until we get this done.” His breathing is labored. “It’ll prolong my life.”

I nod. “How do I do that?”

He turns to face me. “Like this…”

Penelope’s lips hit mine, but it’s different, more powerful. Our tongues meet and it like the world consumed me. The whispers screamed in my head. I wanted to pull away but Caliel grabbed my head and rose up on his knees, kissing me from above. He deepens it and I feel what he feels inside me. The pain, the anguish. He fills me with it. My heart aches at the feel of it. My mind has trouble with it.

Just when I think I had enough, I hear the ruffle of feathers. I feel them wrap around us like one of my pods. It’s warm, safe and strange all at the same time.

Then something in my mind comes through. A vision. A man. He’s dark and giant. His murderous eyes glow a yellow green color. He’s standing in a battlefield surrounded by monsters. My father stands beside him. He looks different. He glows and calls the wind. He holds my sisters power inside him. My blood tingles in my veins to acknowledge the nymph existence. He makes the ground shake as I watch with fear filling my soul. “God, no.” I say as my brow stich up, my face falls and my chest squeezes to the point it's hard to breathe.

“I…AM…DEATH!”

People run for their lives as the man rips them apart.

Tears run down my face, thinking about all I have done. This vision is covered in blood and it’s on my hands because I let it happen. I was too stupid and selfish. I wasn’t there to stop it. I wasn’t there to warn them of what’s coming. People are being torn limb from limb. Children scream in terror. The man bites necks, creating more of the wolf like monsters.

The earth is swallow by this unstoppable creature in my head.

I feel Caliel take his wings away and he lowers himself. He slowly retreats from the kiss and pulls away.

My tear filled eyes find his. “What?” I’m shaking all over.

“It’s your future, Jesse. The difference between beating death or letting him win, is your presence when it happens. If you are there, it will mean your father got the power he needs. You need to make sure he doesn’t. No matter the cost. You need to take yourself out.” His fingertips slightly indent my skin as he looks unto my eyes.

“But why? I don’t understand why I can’t have both. Why can’t I just take her and run? Not let Art git me?” I ask with quiet pain in my voice.

“She’s a burden. I’m sorry, Jesse. She will only stop you from doing what needs to be done. You will not be able to make the decision you have to if you love her and create what the cosmos gave you.” He looks my face over.

“What do I have to decide?” My brows cinch as I try to figure this angel out.

“To end it…Jesse. To end it.” He leans back on his legs and places his hands on his thighs.

I think about what he means. “I don’t wanna go. Not now.”

“You have to, to be in the path you truly need to be on. I know you love her…So much. I felt it in that kiss. I saw the life you dream for her. I will say, that ranch by the lake, she gets that. The good life you want her to have, she has it all.” Caliel gives a little smile.

I wipe my nose and look around the room. I meet Penelope’s heart stopping gaze. “Just not with me.”

“Just not with you.” She lays a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry. Your love…it’s out of time. It’s not the end, it’s just a moment. Don’t look at it like punishment. See it as it truly is…A gift.”

“I’m sorry if I’m having trouble seein’ it that way.” I lower my head.

“You will. It hurts now because it’s a love you crave. When you see the bigger picture. When you truly feel what’s important, you’ll feel it as the love got and deserved.” She smiles and my heart feels full again.

I smile and nod as my pain rolls down my cheek.

“Don’t tell her any of this. It’ll make it less painful for her if she doesn’t know.” He closes his eyes and Penelope falls into my arms asleep.

I lay her down, lay with her and wrap us in blankets.

I place my lips on her hair and try to fight the hurt inside. “I’m sorry.” I whisper as I hold her tight.