Behind The Alpha Book 2 WES

THEA

My fingers spin the rose in my hand as I sit in the branches of my oak tree. The tears in my eyes roll down my cheeks and hit its soft, red petals.

My heart hurts so much. I hurt Wes. I hurt his friends. I’m awful. I’m a monster. Why did I think this was right? I was safe in my trees.

I don’t know how many moons have past since I ran from Wes. I know I need to stay away from him and everyone. I'm not safe.

A leaf from above breaks off and falls into my lap. I pick it up and toss it to the ground with the many others that have already fallen off.

I don’t care about anything anymore. The only thing I care about, hates me and will hate me forever. He doesn’t want to be around me. I saw it in his face.

“Thea.”

My sad, slit eye looks down briefly. “Go away, Nala.” My chin quivers.

“I can’t. Not when you’re in such pain.” She still has her authoritative tone, but I can tell she’s concerned. “Thea. You can’t be like this.”

“I hurt him. I deserve to fade away to nothing.” I choke.

“No. Dear sister. Come down.” She looks up at me and speaks softly.

“Just let me pass, Nala. This world doesn’t want me.” More tears fall to the rose in my hand.

“I want you. Aurora, Faye, Iris, Dieti, and Magda. They need you, Thea. Your element needs you. Without you, the structure falls. Is that what you want?”

“Nobody cares…” I start to cry.

She shifts to a black cat and climbs up to me. She climbs onto my branch, crosses my legs and sits at my feet. She meows and shifts. She leans to me with her legs hanging off one side of the thick branch. “I care, Thea. I care deeply. For you and your element.”

“If you did you wouldn’t have left me.” I whine. “You could have helped me with this world I don’t understand.”

She hangs her head. “I will admit. After 130 years. It took me way too long to realize what my disappearance did to you. Being the youngest of my sisters, you needed me and I failed you. For that, I’m sorry, but Thea, you still have your own mind. Your own heart. I tried to keep you from all this. You refused to heed my advice. You misunderstood my warnings. I love you, Thea. It’s good you helped to fix your mistakes, but you cannot hide because of them.” She leans on the branch. Her cat like brown eyes look me over.

I hear what she’s saying, but I don’t think I can ever look at Wes again. I’m too ashamed of myself.

She places a hand on my leg. “You also cannot allow your sadness to affect your element. Your forest is dying, Thea. Look around you.”

I look out through the thinning branches of my oak tree. The clearing is browning. The trees are losing leaves. My own oak has lost more than half its leaves already. “This is why I must fade away. I hurt everything.”

“No, Thea. It hurts because you are sad, not because of anything you did. Being sorrowful is felt in its heart. The more you wallow in sadness, the more the forest dies. It’s ok to be sad. To feel guilt and regret, but you let it consume you. You are projecting it out to your element around you. You’re letting it destroy the thing you cherish most instead of using it to grow. Thea, if you fade away, you kill the one thing you love absolute in this world. You can’t do that.” Her eyes looked at me with pity.

“Nala, what do I do?” I sit up and hang a leg off the branch.

She grabs my hand and leans to me. “You stop hiding. You talk with Wesley. I’m sure you will get a much better understanding and you will heal your heart. This…” She looks around and back at me. “This is a beacon for Artemis. He will feel this. See your damage. He will prey on your weakness.”

I nod. “I understand.” I wipe my cheeks.

“Good. Now, out of this tree and clean this mess up.” She orders.

I smile at my brother. He always knows exactly what to say. It's one of the reason I’ve always relied on him. I hope he never hides from me again.

“Thank you, Nala.” I wrap my arms around her neck and hug her tight.

“You’re welcome, sister.” She says softly.

I let go of her and jump off the branch.

I walk into the clearing. The night sky is filled with stars and soft wisps of clouds. I circle the clearing, twisting my fingers. “I’m sorry for hurting you with my sadness. Please, forgive me and take my growth.”

I stop, squat down and put my hand on the dried, brown dirt. I close my eyes and open my heart.

I open them to see a new blade of grass emerge from between my middle fingers. Another appears and another.

Then all around me, like a wave, tall grasses flood the clearing out from my center to edge of it. Flowers grow and open. A smile grows on my lips.

Nala stands under my oak tree with her hands at her thighs. The grass hits my oak tree and my tree glows. My power rides up his trunk. His branches flood with buds and unfurl new leaves.

The grass grows to roots. Roots grow to trunks. Trunks grow to leaves as the brown cascades to green across the forest canopy. The trees swell and I hear their healing sounds.

I feel their energy. Their happiness that I’m no longer hurting them. They always forgive. I’m so grateful for that.

I stand and walk to my oak. My long green hair sways in the breeze.

I wrap my arms around him and rest my cheek against him to hear the heart of the forest. It’s strong and whole again. Nala’s right. I shouldn’t punish my trees for how I feel. It’s not fair. I need to turn my guilt and sadness into something I can feel safely. I need Wes to help me do that.

Nala places a hand on my back. “Come. I will take you to him.”

I smile and nod.

She shifts to an eagle and I climbed on her neck. She rose to the air and flew me back to Falcon Ridge so I can try and fix this. Try and understand myself and understand what Wesley is. Everything that’s happened has only been because I didn’t take the time to actually comprehend what I was doing. The result is Wes pushing me away. I hope he still doesn’t feel that way.

After checking his room at the pack house, I conclude he’s at the Alpha Dorms.

I walk the now cleaned halls and stop at the door to my room. Nala stands off to the side. I look at her and she nods at me to go ahead.

I suck in a breath press my lips together and open the door.

He was laying in bed and turned his head to me. He pulls himself to a sit. “Thea.”

Seeing him, flooded me with guilt. To see his handsome face, made me feel small, but I knew I had to do this. I suck in a shaky breath as I find my courage.

My eyes glance to his and the floor as I try to keep calm. Tears well and my skin trembles. “Please don’t be mad at me. My heart can’t bare it.” I hitch as I fight breaking down.

The tension was crushing as Wes stared at me. I played with my fingers in anxious anticipation for him to say something.

He sits up on the edge of the bed, putting his bare feet on the floor. His beautiful blue eyes locking with mine.

He reaches out a hand. “Baby…Come here.”

A wave of relief washed over me when his soft, kind words hit my ears.

I take big steps across the room. I take his hand and he pulls me into him. He wraps his large arms around me and I instantly start to cry. He holds the back of my head and shushes me as he gently rocks me.

“I’m so sorry.” I sob.

“I know, I’m sorry too. It was stupid to let you go. I should have talked with you. I’m just so glad you came back.” He kisses the side of my head.

I hugged him tighter and I felt his heart. His warm body and this feeling of acceptance.

He pushes me back and sits me on the bed. He turns to me and takes my hand.

He reaches up and wipes my tears with his thumb. “Thea. I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. I’ve come to realize the opposite, actually. I love you, Thea. I guess that’s why I was so upset when I found out what you did. I was more concerned with the pain I felt from the lies, I refused to take a moment and consider where you were coming from.” His eyes study my face. “I realize you’re…inexperienced out of your forest. I get that. I also know why you did what you did. I’m not saying what you did was acceptable by any means. It was completely wrong. I just understand why it happened. I'm willing to work with you so this doesn’t happen again. So, if you want to be with me, we have to agree on some things.”

My mouth goes small. “What things?”

“Well, first off…” He leans close. “No more invisibility. I want to see you…all the time. As a nymph or shifter, I don’t care, but don’t hide from me…ever.” He tilts his head and locks my eyes.

“Ok.” I give a smile and feel warm inside that he wants to see me.

He points to my nose. “And if you want to do something that concerns your powers, ask me first. I’ll let you know if you should or not. Just until you get a better understanding. Unless I’m about to die, then please, don’t ask.” He chuckles.

I giggle too.

He slides a hand behind my neck. “Finally, Thea, I don’t care how bad the situation seems, don’t lie to me. Please. I know you did it out of the goodness of your heart and that it just got out of control for you and compounded, but don’t ever feel like you can’t come to me and tell me the truth. I promise you. I will always love you and that there’s nothing that we can’t fix together.”

“I love you, Wesley.” I squeak.

“I love you too, my little flower.”

His lips engulf mine and I feel my heart start to mend. My feelings of guilt wash away and I feel myself grow inside.

His healing kiss held his love and forgiveness. I was so scared he would toss me away. After spending so much time watching him, I should have known his reason was sound. Wes is not as emotional as Grey. He’s level headed and thinks things through. I should have felt and trusted that he could handle my secrets and not condemn me for them. I know this now.

As he kisses me, he gently guides me into bed with him. He pulls the blankets around us and kisses me again.

He pulls back and traces my chin and lips with his fingers. “So…a wood nymph. What can you do, exactly?”

I scoot my hand up from under the covers. “This.” I blow into my fingertips and my sparkles produce a white rose. I slowly spin it in front of his eyes. “For you.” I whisper with a grin.

He smiles and laughs. He takes the rose. “Thank you. I can tell I’m going to have some interesting times with you.”

I tick my head on the pillow. “They can be. If your heart is open.”

“Oh, it’s open, little flower. It’s so open.” He laughs and wraps his arm around me and devours me in kisses. He pauses and lifts his head.

“You didn’t tell me trees had such good singing voices. Honestly, those guys rock!” His brows goes up as I burst into giggles. He kisses me, giggling on my lips.