Barely Breathing

Chapter 38: This is where I belong forever, in his arms



It was dark, so dark. I blinked several times just to be sure my eyes were open. I can't see anything at all.
My feet felt like floating because I don't feel myself standing on anything. It was cold, too cold. I moved my hand to touch
anything but came to nothing.
What bothered me the most was that I feel empty inside. As if there was this hollow inside of me but I can't pinpoint why. I feel so
lonely...so alone.
Where am I? What happened to me?
Suddenly there was a tiny circle of light that keeps glowing, perhaps because it was too dark. Until it gradually grows into a larger
circle, the size of a man. It formed into a man, he was glowing and I was momentarily blinded by the light he emits.
"Willow dear." The voice called.
"Pa-papa?" I rushed to him and hugged him until I was crying.
"Hush my child, it's okay now." He patted my head, smiling down at me.
"How? Why?" I asked confuse. "Am I dead now?"
"Basically, but it is not yet your time. It is not your destiny my child, to die this chance. You have to go back." He spoke softly.
"But-"
"Stop living in the shadows of your past. You have to let go of what can not be changed."
He pointed at my heart. "Only when you forgive yourself will you truly be set free."
"And running from everything doesn't count an option." He continued.
"Papa, I- I am not as strong as I want to think I am," I confessed. "I don't know if I could ever forgive myself for everything that
happened.
"Maybe you can pay us by living the life we so much tried to save." He smiled. "You have to live Willow... for us."
I nodded, a smile forming on my lips. My papa kissed my forehead. "I am proud of what you have become, always remember
that my little princess. You will always be my little Willow.

I hugged my papa tight. I felt a weight has suddenly lifted off my shoulder and replaced it with immense joy.
He lightly pushed my shoulder, and his smile was the last thing I saw as I fell into endless darkness, I screamed as much as my
lungs could but I was still falling deeper and deeper into an abyss of nothingness.
I gasped, the air suddenly filling my lungs. I deeply breathe in and out only to be crushed into something hard.
"Can't breath." My voice was raspy and I coughed a little more.
Whoever was holding me, loosen their embrace. I came eye to eye with a worried Xyrus. There was a moist in his eyes and it
seems like he was crying moments ago.
"You're alive!" Xyrus whispered as if he can't believe what he was seeing.
"Xyrus." My voice cracking, I felt him lightly kissed my forehead.
"Don't ever scare me like that again. I won't let you leave me...ever again. Even if I have to follow you to the ends of the world or
the afterlife. You can't escape me. You are mine and mine only. You hear me?" He said softly, searching my eyes.
I smiled, my eyes watery from the flood of emotions as I stare at the eyes of the man I love.
I looked around and saw Tash, Gabbiel, Julian, Carter, and the others. They were all smiling at me with relief. They all look tired
and battered but there was something else, something powerful than ever - it was hope in their eyes.
I looked back at Xyrus and he also has a bright smile on his face, his eyes twinkling.
I hugged him and let my head lay in his chest as he stood up and carry me. I smiled as I thought, 'this is where I belong forever,
in his arms.'


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