Barely Breathing

The cold wind in its morning routine, brushes my skin, blending well with my cold and tormented heart. The grass felt smooth
under my feet, yet gives no comfort. The forest that once been a haven, seems to taunt me, reminding me that I now belong to
its alpha.
I didn't look back. No, I would not dare. I kept a hold of myself, now is not the time to be messed up with unwanted emotions.
And, looking back would break the resolve I made.
I ran half-heartedly and went deeper into the forest. Ever so careful not to be caught by lookouts. Patrols are on guard even in
daylight.
I can't stay anymore. Xyrus left me with no choice. He knew from the very beginning that I don't want to be chosen yet he can't
understand. He wouldn't. He's forcing me to things I despise the most.
He is awakening some emotions within me that I so hardly buried deeper in my consciousness. Memories that had been dormant
in the back of my mind for years. And with his doings, he is opening a wound bound to never heal.
I felt the fragments of the past traitorously played in my mind. I tried to stop it but of no use.
(Flashback 5 years ago)
I gazed at the man in front of me and forced the tears to not fall. For years, he had been a stranger but for this moment, he
decided to be my father, again.
His dark, tired eyes that mirror a decade of sorrow held me captivated as he lovingly gazed at me. I feel like a daughter again
and it somehow made a bitter smile crept on my lips.
His once built physique was replaced by a feeble appearance, though I believed he was much stronger than he looks. He held
me by the shoulder and made me looked at him. His eyes have that spark of determination.
"Listen to me Willow, do you remember the song your mother and I sing when you were a child?" His voice strained.
The mention of my mother made another stab in my heart. I might be only thirteen but I know what was going on and what was
about to happen. Tears blurred my vision as I nodded my head.
"Good. I want you to sing it with me. You know how it works. "
"Papa...I..."

He kissed my head and lingered there for a moment. I felt something wet rolled on the side of my face. He was crying. My papa
was crying.
For almost ten years, he had kept it all to himself. I never saw him cried yet he lived a dead life.
I fell in my own sob as I clutched at his shirt, savoring the fatherly care I was deprived of, for eight years. Only for it to come to an
end. They're coming.
"Willow, my daughter, forgive Papa will you?"
He said solemnly, then, he let me go. I didn't look up at him, I don't want to see the pain in his eyes. Slowly in a whisper tone, he
started to sing the song I knew by heart. How much I had wished so many times to sing this song again with my father, but
certainly not this way, nor this moment.
"Little wolf come and run,
Little Willow hum around,"
Paws could be heard near us and I was so scared. All I want to do was to hug Papa and feel safe. But his eyes pleading me to
be strong and to do this for him.
"Twisting toes,
Swirling fun,"
I had to be strong, it would make papa proud.
"In a count of one,
Let's take a run,"
I started to sing along with him, the last chance I might have. My voice breaking as I readied myself for what I ought to do.
" The wind whispered three"
My father's hold on my shoulder tightening yet I felt numb.
" Two hushes more it can be."

He spun me around, me facing the endless forest.
" Roaring wolf make it one. "
At the song ending in one, I dashed into the endless forest, but this time Papa and Mama aren't just running around playing with
me; I was running faster for a different reason. I was running for my life.
I ran and ran not daring to look back. 'Papa would be proud' Those were the words I kept repeating in my head yet I can't stop
my tears from falling. I was at stake and his life was the one sacrifice in order to prolong mine.
(end of flashback)
I bit my bottom lip to stop the tears until I tasted blood. A bittersweet memory I can never forget easily, even the pain wasn't
lessened by time. In just a couple of days, my life changed, and most of it not for the better.
I couldn’t tell Xyrus the one thing my father fight for with his life was my freedom. And he, claiming me would make it all go to
waste. I am not yet ready to tell him my secrets, my wounds, and my story. But I wish I could tell him...someday. I wonder what
the moon goddess has stored for me.
I was finally nearing the border and a sigh of relief escaped my lips. One more array of trees and I will soon leave the land of
Blood Moon Pack.
I passed the last tree hiding my view of the human road, and stop a moment to breathe. I was on my knees, breathing heavily
when a voice I was so familiar with decided to ruin the moment.
"Took you half an hour, not bad though. You impressed me."
There, leaning in one of the trees; my nightmare. His black hair hanging low covering half his eyes as he gazed on his wristwatch
checking the time. The same black shirt was on but he was barefooted.
What was most noticeable was his mischievous smile like he had just caught me doing mischief. Not that he hadn't actually.
So, him leaving me alone in my room was a ploy, he actually went here first to see how long before I could pass the lookouts and
escape.
He was clearly toying with me and all of these amuses him. Showing me who's really in control. I never hated him more than the
hatred I feel now.

"You!" I said through gritted teeth. How dare he played with my emotions!
I punched his shoulder which caught him off guard but I didn't stop there. I pounded on his chest repeatedly while crying my
heart out.
"You think this is funny?!" Pound.
"Cruel you are!" Pound. pound. pound.
I let my tears fall as I repeatedly hit him on his chest. Him, not moving at all nor uttering a word. His smile faded.
"I hate you!" pound.
"Why can't you just leave me alone!" pound. pound.
"You...selfish alpha!"
I pounded, one after another. I never felt so much more hopeless. There was no way escaping him and it's what he's showing
me. We stayed like that, me hurting him for another minute until he stopped my hand with his own, forcing me to look at him. My
watery eyes meeting his stoic pair hurt flashed on his face and, this time he didn't hide it.
He suddenly pulled me to him and encaged me with his muscled arms. He buried his nose into my hair and inhaled my scent
shamelessly. Tired and all, I let him, even so, vowing to myself that I would not let myself be tamed by this alpha.
"I had to do this." His crestfallen voice whispered in my ear and I felt him touched my neck and I understood his words as
darkness consumed me once again in his arms.