Barely Breathing

I woke up as a loud sound of thunder blared to an earshot. By the sound of it, a storm must be outside. Sighing, I hold the
blanket tuck securely right under my chin and buried myself more in it, enjoying its warmth. My body feels sore and I don't want
to draw away from the comforts of my bed. It feels too good.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
Wait. Did I just hear the thunder roared in my bed? Another rumbling noise came out and I groan-buried my face on my pillow as
realization finally settling in me. Yeah, guess there's no thunder outside, rather, inside of me. I'm just hungry.
Better to ignore it; too late I'm overly engrossed by sleep. Besides, I'm not a morning person and I'd like to keep it that way.
Wait. What's with that smell?
Hhhmmmm...
It smells like fresh raindrops on the forest's leaves, and soothing cold air after the rain, calming my senses and drowning me
deep in it.
Since when did I smell like Xy...
Oh no.
I.. He.. us...
What's that again?
M-mate hunt.. shoot!
I facepalmed myself remembering the occurrences at the Mate Hunt.
Alpha Troy... the two other alphas... me fighting him, Xyrus and... and... oh berries and waterlilies... I felt my face boiled with
embarrassment recalling fully well that I passed out naked on his arms.
That Alpha! I'm going to kill him this time!
I slowly opened one eye while hiding the other with a hand and peeking under the blanket hoping I still am wearing something. A
sigh of relief escaped my lips.

Oh... that explains it... so that's where the smell is coming from. I was wearing his oversize navy-blue shirt, the one he likes to
wear every often he can, flaming my cheeks at the thought.
Urgh!
I wanna pull my hair out.
"Surprise!"
On instinct, I quickly did an attack position searching for the culprit when my eyes landed on my best friend’s face. Which I may
add, has her very I mean super-wide enormous gigantic smile that makes me want to bury myself deep down the depths of the
Atlantic Ocean. In short, bad news.
"Tash."
She was holding a chocolate cake in her hand and her wide smile didn't falter a bit.
"Happy Birthday Willoooo!! Make a wish."
Birthday? so I was out for a night only. Really, if not for my best friend I'd rather forget I turned eighteen today. But to not
disappoint her, I blew the candle after whispering a silent wish. She attacked me in a hug and a small smile crept on my face.
Life isn't heavenly and I learned it the hard way. But with Tash, I’m grateful.
"Stop the crap, you're making me cry too."
I didn't notice I was crying. I wiped it and smiled at her. She scooped some icing and put it on my nose.
"Happy birthday Luna."
Right. I knew it.
"Tash you don't wanna call me that."
"Why not?" She was about to say something but changed her mind. Instead, she gave me that very, I mean super wide,
enormous, gigantic smile again. "But you have to tell me what happened. All of it! "
And I'm doomed.

***
I spend the whole day with Tasca in my room without any sign of Xyrus showing up. Not that I would ask Tash why he's not here
nor if he'll be seeing me later.
But Tash, being Tash, had to go before dinner for her 'girly things' more of girl rituals. You see, she likes to make sure she looks
beautiful before going to sleep. She used to say, her prince charming might come while she sleeps. But now, she has Gabbiel.
Gabbiel, our beta claimed her as his chosen last night.
So here I am left alone with my thoughts that I so tried to forget the whole day. There were so many things running around my
mind which left me confused. Confused as to why I wasn't marked as I should be: part of the chosen mate tradition. Every male
has to mark their chosen to show their claim on her.
I knew it since I search for any sign of a mark when I took a bath and there was none. Only a few gashes I got from the fight,
nothing more. And why he didn't show up the whole day?
I was actually thankful for his absence; I do not know how to deal with him anyway. I'm still mad after all. Heck, I don't even know
if I can forgive him. Maybe never. I do not know what is running around his head and I don't want to know. I don't want to see him
either.
What will become of me now?
I rested my head on the headboard and embraced my knees while slowly humming a tune. My emotions messing up my mind,
making me feel vulnerable. No matter how much I hide it from Tash or deny it to myself, I still am broken. I am broken.
He defeated me...
I was... defeated...
Defeated...
A tear fell and I instantly wiped it.
I trained hard for this...
I was almost positive I could win my way out of the mate hunt...

Another tear fell and I let it be.
How could I lose a fight I had prepared myself so much more than I wanted it?
More tears fell and I buried my head on my knees, weeping silently. I feel like a failure.
A failure that would always end up a failure.
All my life I've waited for this one chance I could prove to anyone that I can fight. I can fight for myself. I can protect myself. I can
defend myself. I can be someone else, not the broken I am inside.
I played tough. Heck, I was the best fighter in this pack. I pushed myself to the limits. Believing... Hoping... that tomorrow I can
be proud of myself for once. I was so close... so close to freedom I always wanted...
And I failed...
I fell asleep with those thoughts and found myself waking up later that night. And in my hand, lays a small royal blue box and a
white rose at my side. Xyrus' scent littered the room. Seems like he was in here moments ago.
The box was made of fine material and it feels soft and fluffy. I opened it and mesmerized by the beauty in it. There lays a lovely
necklace. In the middle of the moon is a wolf howling. It's exquisite.
But I can't take it.
I laid it on the bedside table and crushed the rose in my hands. Crushing too his hope of us being together.