Awake At Dawn (Wildflower Series Book 2)

“YOU TOLD ME the bathtub held two people.”

Noah chuckled, his breath tickling my bare skin. He crouched behind my back, outside the tub. He’d stolen the washcloth from me and was busy dragging it up and down my arm, like he refused to give up touching me completely.

“It does.”

“Then why are you out there, and I’m sitting in here?”

Noah didn’t respond. Instead, he trailed the washcloth to my chest, gently teasing it over the tips of my breasts beneath the water. They hardened, and I bit down on a moan before snatching the washcloth from him so he couldn’t drop even lower.

“You’re going to have to get in here if you want more,” I said breathlessly.

Noah cursed under his breath and then, to my great disappointment, stood and strode away from the tub.

Well, that backfired.

“I can’t get enough of you,” Noah groaned, keeping his back to me for a moment before spinning and leaning against the bathroom countertop.

I couldn’t get enough of him, either. All I could think about was how ridiculously sexy this man was as he stood there shirtless with sweatpants riding low on his hips. When he walked up to me while I was talking to Matt earlier, I nearly combusted from the heat of his skin as it brushed against mine.

If I thought Noah was attractive before, it was nothing compared to how I viewed him now that he’d fucked me into a near coma last night. I kept seeing flashes of how his muscles tensed and his eyes rolled back. And right now, his hair was all messy, reminding me of how my hands had sifted through it last night.

And God, it was all so hot.

“Then get in,” I encouraged.

Noah’s eyes drifted over me as I sank back into his massive soaker tub. The bubbles were up to my chin, so I doubted he could see anything other than my head floating above the water, but he seemed satisfied with the situation regardless.

“You’re in there because I made a sexy mess out of you,” he muttered, finally answering my question from earlier. “And I’m out here because I’m enjoying the view of my pretty roommate.”

I sat forward, and Noah’s eyes zeroed in on my breasts, peeking out of the water. Smirking, I said, “If you get in the bathtub, you could enjoy the feel of your roommate.”

His gaze flicked up to mine. “Pretty.”

“What?”

“You dropped the pretty,” he said. “I can enjoy the feel of my pretty roommate.”

I cupped the bubbles in my hand and blew on them, watching as they floated through the air. “You’re really stuck on that, aren’t you?”

“You’re really stuck on ignoring or denying me whenever I try to say how beautiful you are.”

I ducked my head, struggling to figure out how to reply. This unfiltered version of Noah had a lot of things to say about me that made my stomach flutter. And I just wasn’t used to that. I didn’t know how to handle it. Or acknowledge it.

Mostly because I was afraid that acknowledging it would end up hurting me in the end. Noah had made it more than clear that night in the living room fort that he didn’t do relationships. He’d looked me in the eyes when he said it, making it feel like a warning.

And while I didn’t agree with the reasoning he gave because I knew in my heart that Noah could give someone all the love in the world, I couldn’t count on being the one to change his mind. Especially not when it wouldn’t just be me he was committing to. I was a two-for-one deal, and if Noah and I delved into more, if I let myself think for even a minute that it could be more, I wasn’t sure I could handle a broken heart while also navigating single-motherhood.

That’s what I should be focusing on, anyway. My mind should be on this baby and everything I still needed to do to get ready for them. This—sitting in Noah London’s luxury bathtub—wasn’t reality. Even if I was loving every minute of it, this was just a temporary fairy tale. The fact that I was even indulging in it made me feel guilty to the core.

“Gemma,” Noah continued without a care in the world for my internal dilemma. “I enjoyed the feel of you last night. And this morning. And if I enjoy the feel of you anymore without giving you a rest, you won’t be able to walk at Juniper’s bachelorette party.”

I laughed, and it echoed in his spacious bathroom. It was all modern lines and sleek fixtures. Not to mention the floor-to-ceiling window that the bathtub sat against, giving me the perfect view of Boston as I soaked.

“Juniper’s bachelorette party isn’t until next weekend,” I protested. “You think you can fuck me hard enough that I won’t be able to walk for a week?”

“Careful how you phrase that, angel.” The corner of Noah’s mouth tilted up as he crossed his arms over his chest. “It almost sounded like a challenge.”

I clenched my legs under the water, trying to soothe the growing ache between them. God, I was insatiable when it came to this man. My body wanted more. I suspected it had something to do with the hormones, but also…Noah. Noah London had a lot to do with it, too.

“Maybe it was,” I said, looking up at him beneath my lashes as I smiled.

“Gemma,” he groaned, tipping his head back and closing his eyes.

“If you’re not gonna get in and make yourself useful, why are you hanging around torturing yourself?”

“Because I don’t know how to walk away, either.” He ran a hand over his face while tipping it back down, flashing his piercing green eyes open to stare longingly at me. My face grew hot, and it had nothing to do with the steaming water. “Clearly, otherwise last night wouldn’t have happened.”

“I’m glad it happened,” I whispered.

Noah groaned. “Fuck, me too.”

I could see the indecision in his eyes as he warred with whether to join me in the tub.

I knew what I wanted. I wanted him close. Touching me, preferably. Frankly, I should be concerned with how badly I wanted it, with how quickly it was growing into an addiction.

Noah dragged his gaze away from me and looked out the window instead. I wondered what was going on in that head of his, what he was thinking of this…of our situation.

Part of me wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

“Have you ever watched the sunrise from here?” I asked, redirecting the conversation into safer territory as I sank back into the tub, letting the suds cover my body. “I bet it would be amazing. A cup of coffee in hand, watching as the light gradually peeked over the cityscape.”

“I haven’t,” he admitted, surprising me. He was always up so early. “But you’re welcome to watch the sunrise in my bathroom whenever you want…” He looked back at me, his lips twitching. “In exchange for one request.”

I cocked my head to the side. “Is it a dirty request?”

I could almost guarantee that I would say yes to that.

“You tell me.” He chuckled. “I want to see your mug collection.”

I narrowed my eyes, not believing that was what he really wanted. “Are you sure that’s the collection you want to see?”

“Is there another option I’m not aware of?” He raised his eyebrows.

“I think you’re more than aware of the other option.”

He grinned, not denying it. “Fine. I would also really like to be introduced to your sex toy collection.”

“Hm…” I pursed my lips, pretending to consider his request. “You have to pick. Mugs or sex toys.”

“I pick the mugs,” he said without even considering it.

Huh. “Surprising.”

His expression softened, and I just knew whatever he was about to say would wreck me a bit.

“The mugs tell me about you, Em.”

My brows furrowed as I stared at him, unable to find words.

“They tell me the TV shows you like, and the quotes you find funny, and that your favorite color is either green or blue,” he went on, making my stomach flip into my chest. “I like that every morning when I see you drinking all that decaf coffee, I learn one new little thing about you. Whereas, if I had to guess, the sex toys would tell me that you like it when that sweet clit of yours gets all the attention.” His devilish smirk returned. “But I already knew that.”

Yes, he did. And he knew just what to do with that information, too. But I didn’t need him getting too cocky on me. That wouldn’t do.

I flashed him a teasing look. “Oh, so after one night, you know everything about what I like in the bedroom, huh?”

“Not everything, no.” His smirk grew, but his voice dropped to a calm, seductive pitch. One that excited and soothed all at once. “And I hope you know you can tell me if there’s something you want that I’m not giving you. But I also like discovering it on my own. I like exploring your body until I figure out what makes you tick.”

His eyes drifted across the tub like he had laser vision that could see through the piles of bubbles. Honestly, I wished he did. I liked feeling his gaze on me last night.

Noah’s eyes eventually found my face, searching it for…something. I wasn’t sure, but I stared back, wanting him to know that I wasn’t going to back down from this. I wasn’t afraid of it, from what he was saying. And if he wanted to explore my body right now, I would let him.

“Stop looking at me like that, Gemma,” he rasped after a minute.

“I’m sorry.” I wasn’t sorry. “You’re just so…” I flicked my eyes over him the way he did to me, needing him to know that he wasn’t the only one who recognized the attraction here. If he got to eye-fuck me, I should be allowed to do it back.

“Gemma…cut it out.” Noah’s jaw ticked as he shifted against the countertop. “Or deal with being unable to walk at Juniper’s bachelorette party.”

“Fine,” I pouted. “I already have enough to worry about with that party.”

“Do you think—” he started before biting his lip in thought.

“Do I think?”

“I just…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Do you really think you can get away with people not noticing?”

“Well, I figure we’ll only be together when all of us are at the Bellflower, and then we’re going⁠—”

“Wait, what? The girls are going to the Bellflower, too?”

“Yeah.” I nodded before rolling my eyes a bit. “Juniper and Julian wanted the whole wedding party to get drinks together before splitting up. Although, I think if it were up to Julian, he would have gone wherever Juniper went.”

“He would have,” Noah agreed dryly. “But I wasn’t talking about us, Gemma. Although I’m sure keeping my hands off you will be impossible.”

“What were you—oh.”

That.

“Yeah.”

“It’ll be fine,” I said, trying to convince myself just as much as I was trying to convince him. Celebrating my best friend’s marriage to my brother would definitely be a lot more fun if I weren’t pregnant. Secretly pregnant. “The dress I was planning on wearing is loose around my stomach, kinda like the one I wore out the other night. I doubt anyone will notice.”

Noah’s eyes darkened before he interjected. “If it’s like that dress…I’m fucked, Em.”

I smirked and then sobered, my thoughts still lingering on the pregnancy.

“After the bachelorette party,” I promise. “I’ll tell everyone sometime after the party.”

Noah considered my words for a moment before nodding. He looked more uncertain than he had in the past whenever I brought up keeping the pregnancy secret. Usually, I had a good read of his thoughts on the matter. But this morning, I couldn’t be sure.

“When Julian finds out that you’re pregnant,” he said after a long pause, “and he finds out you’re living here, he’s going to try to get you to move out.”

I sighed. “I know he is. That’s why I wanted to keep it a secret until I had an apartment lined up. But at this rate, I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hide it. Not with all the wedding events coming up. We’re only like a month out from the big day, and I didn’t take all that into consideration before.”

Noah cleared his throat. “There’s no rush, you know.”

“No rush?” I repeated. “I thought you wanted me to tell Julian⁠—”

“No rush to move out,” he clarified.

“I’m staying until the end of the season,” I said, reassuring him that I would stick to our agreement. “Or even if I move out, I’ll still watch Winnie whenever you’re gone. Or if Natalie needs help with Chloe, I’ll be around.”

“That’s not it.” He frowned. “It’s that you have enough on your plate without worrying about an apartment and rent. You can stay as long as you want, Em. And Julian can deal with that.”

“You’re just saying that because the longer I live here, the longer we can have sex.”

“If your moving out is our expiration date, then yeah, maybe I am,” he said, surprising me with the sharp note in his voice, but then it disappeared as he sighed. “But it’s not really that. I just don’t want you to be stressed about finding a new place when there’s no real reason why you have to move out.”

“There’s a baby coming, Noah,” I whispered because there was definitely a reason to move out. I didn’t want to be stressed about apartments, either, but I knew I needed to find one. I needed to get ready for the baby. I needed to find a home for my little lemon.

But Noah just blinked once and said, “I know.”

My brows drew together as I attempted to understand the look in his eyes. But a second later, he blinked, and it was gone. Slipping his hands in his pockets, he pushed off the countertop and strolled toward me.

He bent, dropping a kiss on the top of my head.

“I have to head into the gym,” he muttered. “I probably should have been there a while ago.”

“Okay,” I whispered as he pulled away. “If I’m not home when you get back, I’ll be at the rink.”

Noah groaned abruptly. “Isn’t there some way for you to teach those kids how to skate without stepping onto the ice?”

“It wouldn’t be very effective,” I laughed.

“Fine. Just—” He raked his fingers through his hair before shooting me a meaningful look. “Just please be careful.”

“Baby and I will be safe, Noah,” I said, trying to reassure him with a smile.

He shook his head as he walked to the doorway, a tiny grin playing on his lips. With one foot out of the bathroom, he looked over his shoulder.

“What do you and Baby want for dinner?”

“That’s hours from now,” I said. “Whatever Baby and I are craving will be totally different by dinner.”

Noah turned, facing me again, that smile still on his face. He crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the doorframe. “Do you have any names in mind, or are you just going to keep calling them Baby?”

I cocked my head to the side, considering his question. And surprised to find I didn’t really have an answer. “Baby will have to do for now. I’m hoping it will just…come to me.”

“I hope you tell me when it does,” he said softly before clearing his throat and adding, “Text me when you figure out what you want for dinner.”

Feeling a bit speechless, I didn’t get a word out before he walked away. All I managed was a nod.

But because I wasn’t going to argue when a hot man was willing to get me dinner, later when I was at the rink and got the sudden urge to eat my weight in spicy food, I texted Noah.

I need literally anything with buffalo sauce. Anything at all.

NOAH: That must be the baby talking.

Buffalo sauce, Noah.

NOAH: I got it covered. Just get home safe, Em.

Always.

I was still looking at my phone when another text chimed in.

It was from one of the many people I’d been avoiding.

DAD: Hey, Gems. How’s everything going with the new job?

Guilt washed over me. I should call him. I used to talk to my dad on the phone at least once a week, even if it was just a quick check-in. He didn’t have a lot of free time, and he had a lot of children to stay in touch with, but he liked hearing our voices. Just for a few minutes.

I’d been dodging his calls because I knew he’d have me spilling everything. Even in those few minutes.

John Briggs had this uncanny ability to see through his children. He’d been the first one to catch onto Julian and Juniper’s relationship, and I knew if I gave him the chance, he’d be the first one to catch onto me, too.

I really like it. It’s been a fun change!

DAD: That’s great to hear. Been up to anything else fun? Taken any trips or have anything in the works?

My stomach flipped, even though I knew it was probably just a coincidence. He knew I used to take trips for work all the time and likely wanted to know if I still did for this new job. That was all.

I swallowed and typed out a response that avoided answering the question about travel because I couldn’t outright lie to my dad.

Just working and getting ready for Juni’s bachelorette party!

DAD: You kids have fun. Make sure Julian behaves.

Lol you know Juniper will make sure of that.

DAD: Oh, I know.

Sighing, I put my phone away.

And then I wished it was just as easy to put my guilt away, too.