Awake At Dawn (Wildflower Series Book 2)

REGARDLESS OF NOAH’S feelings about it, I was glad I put on the dress. The lakeside bar that Blake drove us a mile down the road to was just as upscale as the surrounding neighborhood and surprisingly busy for a Thursday night. Noah and I followed his brothers to a few open chairs by a sleek bar top, which boasted rows of high-quality liquors on the wall behind it, lit with moody, ambient lighting.

Maybe it was just the heat from Noah’s eyes every time he looked at me, but the room felt stuffy. I slipped my jacket off and threw it over the back of the barstool before sitting down.

Noah sat beside me and then wordlessly reached beneath my seat, dragging my stool closer to his.

I looked over at him. “Was that really necessary?”

“Yes,” he grunted before flagging down the bartender and asking for a drink I didn’t recognize. Two of them.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“It’s a really good mocktail that they make,” he replied. “I’ve had it before. If you don’t like it, I’ll get you something else.”

I smiled. “Well, you must be sure I’ll like it if you ordered me two.”

His lips twitched. “One is for me, but if you want both, I’ll get another for myself.”

“Oh, my bad,” I laughed. “You don’t want a drink?”

“I am getting a drink,” he said stubbornly. His eyes glittered like they did whenever he teased me.

“You know what I mean.”

“I do. But it seems only fair since you can’t drink. Also, I try to keep the alcohol to a minimum during the season.”

The bartender slid two identical drinks across the counter, and I picked one up.

“Cheers, Mr. London. Congrats on the win.”

He rolled his eyes, but his voice was soft when he clicked our glasses together. “Cheers, Coach B.”

I lifted the drink to my lips, licking a small dribble off the side before taking a sip. Noah’s eyes burned brighter as he watched me, his glass suspended midair. The cool, refreshing flavors of mint and strawberry hit my tongue, and a little moan of delight slipped out of me.

“That’s really good,” I said with approval.

Noah’s fingers flexed slightly around his glass, his grip tightening.

“Glad you like it,” he murmured before finally taking a sip of his own drink.

Sully caught his attention after that, lifting his glass and cheering his brother in a louder, more obnoxious way, and it definitely garnered the attention of the people around us. Guys from the other end of the bar flocked toward Noah, excitedly peppering him with questions despite Noah being partly responsible for their hometown losing tonight.

Deciding it was a good time to slip away, I hopped off my barstool, weaving through the crowd until I reached a darkened corner of the bar that hosted a few single-stall bathrooms.

I’d been in a lot of bathrooms lately, thanks to morning sickness and my increased water intake, but this one was by far the nicest. Unlike the bright, breezy interior of Noah’s lake house, the decor here oozed moody, old-world charm while still being modern and trendy. The glow of the wall sconces was the only light, and the seductive atmosphere made me want to tug the top of my dress lower.

Just a little bit.

So I did.

Like Sully said this morning…it was an experiment.

I found myself more than curious of the results. And luckily enough, as soon as I left the bathroom, I ran right into my test subject.

Literally.

I collided with Noah’s hard body with enough force that I would’ve fallen backward if it weren’t for the arm he quickly hooked behind me. I thought he might let me go once he’d steadied me, but he didn’t.

If anything, his hold tightened.

His eyes quickly assessed me, looking me up and down.

“Don’t fucking do that,” he said, sounding oddly tortured. His chest heaved against mine with quicker breaths than normal.

“What?” I breathed, alarmed by his sudden presence and the wild way he looked at me.

“Disappear like that. Christ.” His head tipped back momentarily, eyes closing with emotion I didn’t fully understand. “You’re gonna be the death of me, Gemma.”

“Sorry.” I tried to swallow past the dryness in my throat. “I just had to use the bathroom, and you were busy.”

Noah lowered his gaze again. His green eyes traced my face, and I wondered what they sought. We were only a breath apart.

I didn’t know why he was still standing so close to me. Maybe he just wanted to melt into the shadows so no one would see us here alone, so no one would gossip if they saw him with a new girl. But the way his body cradled mine, pressing it against the bathroom door, made my knees weak.

“Blake just told me that they were being assholes earlier, and you stuck up for me,” he finally said when he found words again.

I tried to duck my head as I figured out how to explain myself, but Noah caught my chin with two fingers. He tipped it back up so our gazes collided.

He didn’t look mad. No, I recognized this look. He was⁠—

“That’s so fucking hot, Em.” The gravel in his voice made shivers work their way down my spine. “That you did that for me.”

“It was nothing,” I protested weakly.

He shook his head, and even if he weren’t still holding my chin, I wouldn’t have been able to look away from him. His expression was fierce and untamed. Desperate. I loved it. He was consuming me with just that look alone.

“It was everything,” he insisted. “And it makes absolutely none of this less hard.”

“Noah…”

I wanted to tell him that it didn’t have to be hard. That I knew exactly how we could make it better. But his thumb had moved to trace the outline of my lips, and I couldn’t speak. I could barely breathe.

“Why?” Noah murmured as his eyes lowered to my lips, entranced by the way his thumb moved over my mouth. “Why is it so impossible to resist you?”

I leaned into his touch, wanting him to know that he didn’t have to. But he seemed like he was waiting for something. For more of a response. My pulse raced in anticipation, and I licked my lips, trying to get them to form words. The flick of my tongue grazed Noah’s thumb, and some unintelligible, gruff noise rose from his throat as he absently swiped across my bottom lip, coaxing me to speak.

“Don’t,” I managed to whisper, giving him permission. “Don’t resist.”

“Thank God,” he groaned, sliding his palm to my cheek. Suddenly impatient, Noah tipped my head back with a rough move that made my stomach flip, and then his lips slanted over mine, claiming my mouth.

Noah London was kissing me.

No, kissing didn’t seem like an accurate description. This was so much more than that. Noah’s talented lips nipped and pressed and danced over mine as a sort of foreplay, and then he thrust his tongue into my mouth like he wanted me to know exactly how good he was at using it.

Less than thirty seconds, and he’d worked me into a knot of need, desperate for him to unravel me. This kiss alone, laced with hints of strawberry and mint and sex, threatened to end me.

He slid his hand down to the nape of my neck, caressing softly before tangling his fingers in my hair and giving a little tug. I gasped his name as heat flashed up my spine, and he groaned into my mouth with appreciation.

A second later, he’d flattened me against the bathroom door. The handle rammed uncomfortably into my side, momentarily distracting me from what Noah was doing to my body. I reached back and turned it, letting us tumble inside the bathroom.

As soon as I closed the door behind me, Noah had me pressed against it again. His lips reattached to mine in a kiss so deep a groan erupted from my throat. His tongue teased mine. Just enough that it left me wanting more, needing more, dying for more of him.

“Fuck, Em,” he rasped, and I realized just how addicted I was to the way he said a name that was just for him when he was turned on.

“Noah,” I reciprocated. “Noah, please.”

I didn’t know what I was begging for, but I knew he would. He would know.

And he did. Noah’s hips began grinding into me, keeping me pinned in place as he rocked his erection exactly where I wanted to feel him. And oh, God, did it feel good. He moaned when he felt my hips tip up in response, and I needed to hear more of that. I had to.

Slithering my hand between our bodies, I trailed it down to the zipper on his jeans. But as soon as he felt what I was doing, Noah grabbed my hand by the wrist and pinned it above my head instead. Then he found my other hand and did the same.

“Gemma,” he warned breathlessly.

“I’m just trying to help,” I gasped.

“It feels too good.” He tipped his forehead against mine, letting his words whisper across my lips. “I need to feel you. That’s all I want.”

He slammed his lips back where they belonged while moving his body over mine in a slow roll. One of his hands released my wrist, drifting down my arm, making all the hairs stand on end as he brushed his fingertips over my skin. They trailed the length of my side until he gripped my waist like he was holding on for dear life.

But I liked how he was touching me way too much for him to stop.

“Feel me, Noah,” I muttered between kisses.

He sighed into my mouth before dropping my other hand and sliding both of his back up my torso. He paused ever so slightly as his fingers drummed over my rib cage, but his restraint broke a second later as he roughly cupped my breasts in his large palms, all while stroking my tongue with his.

Lord, how I wished there weren’t any clothes between us. I was dying to feel those hands knead my bare body like he did over my dress.

“Holy fuck, Gemma.” Noah squeezed his handful appreciatively before making a low guttural noise in the back of his throat. He kissed the corner of my mouth before letting his lips trail over my jaw, nipping slightly. “You are…you are unreal. I can’t believe…”

His words disappeared as he got distracted by dragging his lips over my skin. I gasped and tangled my fingers in his hair while his lips found the hollow at the base of my throat, exploring it as he discovered what I reacted to. I felt his mouth curve in a smile whenever I made a sound.

“I dream about those sounds you make all the fucking time,” he murmured.

A whimpering noise slipped out of me. It was all the response I could muster.

Noah didn’t seem to mind. His lips traveled lower until they brushed over the swell of my breasts, kissing the outline of my dress. I closed my eyes, letting him take what he wanted, but when his lips vanished, I looked down to find him staring up at me with the string holding my top together between his teeth.

He tugged on it—just slightly. I could tell he was experimenting with how hard he’d need to pull to untie the bow, but he was waiting for my permission to go further. His dazzling green eyes watched my face, desperation dancing in them.

“Yes,” I breathed.

Noah ripped the string out of the knot with his teeth, and the bodice of my dress loosened.

“I knew it would be that easy,” he muttered, sounding awed as he watched the reveal of more and more cleavage while the dress slowly fell open. I wasn’t wearing a bra; the ruched, peasant dress design gave an all-natural shape that I liked. And I had a feeling Noah liked it, too. Still transfixed, he continued in a rough voice, “That’s why this dress was such a fucking tease. Dangerous as hell because I knew all it would take was a little tug, and you’d be mine to see like this.”

But he never got to see what he wanted to.

Not before a knock at the door caused us both to jump.

I instinctively covered myself, gathering the fabric of my dress in my hands before it could fall completely. Noah swore under his breath and glared at the door like it was his enemy. While he stared it down, I reluctantly tied my top again. Noah caught my movements out of the corner of his eye and scowled.

“I’m going to kill whoever is on the other side of that door,” he grumbled before sighing as though realizing that the moment was lost and we couldn’t continue to hide in here. It was suspicious, especially if people were waiting for the bathroom.

Noah gave me one more look of longing while we caught our breath and then grabbed my hand as he opened the door. Sully stood on the other side, his eyes widening as we both emerged. A goofy grin spread over his face despite his brother’s glare.

“Shit, sorry.” He pushed Noah back toward the bathroom. “I didn’t realize. Go back in there. I’ll stand guard.”

“Yeah, okay. As though having you listening on the other side of the door isn’t an absolute mood-ruiner.” Noah pushed his brother off with a roll of his eyes. But I didn’t miss how his lips curved, a grin threatening to break through. “Way to go, Sullivan.”

Sully smiled apologetically before winking at me and disappearing into the bathroom. I laughed, which seemed to tip the scales for Noah. He grinned freely as he led me back to the bar, where his other two brothers sat. Since someone had taken our chairs, he squeezed us into a free space along the bar instead.

Noah let go of my hand, and I mourned the loss of his touch for only a few seconds before his arm wrapped around my waist instead, pulling me into his side.

It stayed there, too.

He didn’t let go.

Not even when Blake smirked at him.

Or when Theo caught him spreading his palm over my stomach like he did in bed last night.

He didn’t let go as he ordered us another round of the same drink. He guzzled his down, licking his lips and looking at me with heat in his eyes, as though the taste of strawberry and mint on his tongue reminded him of the flavor of mine when he’d kissed me.

Noah didn’t even let go when two girls showed up beside him, offering to buy him a drink for the win.

I stiffened as he leaned over to mutter something to them. I wasn’t sure what he was saying, but it felt like their conversation took forever, and I tried to ignore the irritation coursing through me.

One kiss, I reminded myself. We’d shared one kiss. It didn’t mean he couldn’t talk to other girls. But still, it wasn’t until they finally walked away with disappointed expressions that I relaxed again.

Noah returned his attention to me, chuckling softly in my ear. I wanted to know if it was something to do with the other girls, something funny or amusing that they said. I’d been thinking about telling him he could go after them when he abruptly grabbed me by the hand, leading me away from the bar.

I clutched my drink in my hands, trying not to spill it as Noah dragged me outside.

“What are you doing?” I asked just as the chilly air hit my skin, and I repressed a shiver.

Noah didn’t answer. He walked us across a deck that overlooked the lake, the moon reflecting across its ripples. We stopped near the railing, and he looked down at me, flashing a smirk. I frowned slightly, annoyance plaguing me because I didn’t know what the hell was going on.

“If you wanted to get out of the bar, you had a few girls ready to join you,” I muttered.

Noah’s smirk grew. His eyes wandered my face with interest, and I shifted on my feet.

“Gemma,” he muttered, amusement laced into my name. He reached out, plucking my drink from my hands.

“Excuse you,” I protested.

But Noah simply tipped my drink back, downing the rest of it. His gaze glittered above the rim of the glass as he watched me.

I scowled at him. “There were clearly people in there who would have bought another drink for you. You didn’t need to steal mine.”

Looking down at me, Noah raised a brow. Without saying a word, he moved his hand to wrap around my throat, grabbing in a way that forced my head to tip back and my lips to part. And then, with aim as perfect as the winning touchdown pass he’d thrown earlier, he spat my drink back into my mouth.

He leaned close enough that our lips brushed as the cool taste of strawberry slid to the back of my throat. I nearly choked with surprise but recovered just as he issued a husky demand.

“Swallow like a good girl, Em,” he murmured.

I did, and Noah watched with hooded eyes.

“While you’re cute when you’re jealous, you don’t need to be,” he added, slowly releasing my throat. “The only girl I want to share a drink with is you. I’d think you’d know that after how I kissed you, but if I need to drag you away from everyone else to prove it, I will.”

“Sorry,” I gasped when my airway cleared again. I couldn’t feel the fall air anymore; all I could feel was heat unraveling in my gut. “I wasn’t sure…I mean, maybe you didn’t think it was a good kiss.”

He chuckled, and I felt it vibrate through my body as he pressed closer to me. “Don’t say shit we both know is a lie.”

“Fine,” I groaned, trying not to get lost in how good he felt. “I was momentarily jealous. Happy?”

“Right now? I’m so fucking happy, Gemma.” Noah’s voice had a delicious rasp to it that sent shivers down my spine as he wrapped his arms around my waist again. He mistook it for what it wasn’t. “You’re cold.”

“It’s not so bad,” I argued.

“I wasn’t thinking about anything but getting you alone when I brought you out here,” Noah murmured, running a hand up and down my arm. “But I can feel your goose bumps, Em.”

I didn’t know how to tell him that those had nothing to do with the temperature.

“Let’s go in,” he concluded, stepping back.

“But—” I didn’t want to go in yet. I didn’t want him to step back. I wanted more.

“Inside. Now,” Noah grunted, twisting my body with his hands so I was facing the door again. “We’ve already had this conversation about how I’m not going to let you fucking freeze. Let’s go.”

I adored sweet Noah.

But bossy Noah might be even better.

And that was the only reason I let him drag me back into the bar.

“Where’s your next game, Noah?” Blake immediately asked when we reached him again, looking at us with a warning in his eyes. Or a reminder that we were in public, and a lot of eyes had been following us around. There was humor there, too. Happiness. But it seemed like the big brother in him hadn’t been able to hold back any longer.

Noah cleared his throat, answering his brother with ease. As though nothing had just happened between us. But his stiff length pressing into the small of my back told me differently. Unable to resist, I wiggled a bit in his arms, and he tried to suppress a groan while tightening his hold on me.

He tightened it so much that my brain began to race.

I liked what was happening a little more than I should. But this was Noah London. This was a guy who straight-up told me he couldn’t promise a relationship. He might be holding me like he never wanted to let me go, but he would. He might have dragged me outside to get me alone, but eventually, he would leave me alone. I knew he would because I’d prepared myself for that even while encouraging him to kiss me, to touch me.

So while standing in his arms like this felt more than nice, we shouldn’t be doing it.

It was confusing. Not just to us—but to everyone.

“You should let me go,” I whispered when there was a break in conversation. “People are going to assume things.”

Noah grunted. “I don’t care what they assume as long as one of those things is how you’re off-fucking-limits.”

“Noah, no one cares about me.” I sighed. “The only reason people are looking over here is because you’re a famous NFL player getting handsy with some random girl in a bar.”

“You think this is handsy?” he breathed, his lips teasing the shell of my ear. “This is me making sure no one bumps into your precious cargo. Handsy is something entirely different, Em.”

My breath hitched. “How about you show me later tonight?”

He groaned, but I didn’t miss how he refused to agree or make promises.

It was like he’d already determined this to be temporary. Even more temporary than I’d prepared for.

Sure enough, when we returned to the house, Noah stood in the doorway of his room and stared at the bed, uncertainty in his eyes. He put his hands on his hips as he turned to survey the living room, and his gaze was careful to avoid me, even as I walked to stand beside him in the doorway.

“I think I should just sleep on the couch. I can turn the fireplace on. You can have the space heater in my room,” he said. “That seems like the right decision.”

“Why on earth would you do that?” I laughed, mostly because of how seriously he was taking this decision. “We already slept together last night.”

Noah turned, giving me his heated attention as his body crowded me against the door frame. He pressed one hand beside my head and leaned in. Meanwhile, his eyes lingered on my mouth. Instinctively, I licked my lips, which caused a muscle in Noah’s jaw to pop.

“Last night, I didn’t know what you tasted like, Em,” he said, dropping his voice. “And it’s dangerous how fucking good you taste.”

“Noah…” I whispered, hating the slight shake of my voice born out of pure need. I put a hand to his chest, sliding it up the front as though I hoped that would steady me. In reality, it reminded me of how amazingly hard he’d felt against me earlier, and it made me realize just how strung tight he was. “Noah, I already told you not to resist. Nothing’s stopping you, least of all me.”

His jaw clenched again, eyes closing momentarily until they flashed open and burned a hole through my heart.

“That’s the problem, Gemma.” The words burst out of him, but then he took a deep breath and lowered his voice. “You’re Julian’s sister. Julian’s sister. I never meant for this to happen. I asked you to move in because I wanted to help you, to be a good friend to him and to you. Not because of…this. And now I have to figure out how much I care about him breaking my fingers.”

Of course he was stuck on Julian. I should have known Noah didn’t think we could go any further because guilt would follow him when we didn’t last. I wasn’t just a random girl he’d never see again. I couldn’t be the kind of fling he wanted.

“This,” I repeated. “I hope you know that I realize exactly what this is, Noah. You don’t have to worry that I’m getting the wrong idea. I don’t have any expectations.”

How could I? I was a two-for-one package deal, and there was no way I’d ever expect Noah to be interested in that.

Noah stared at me. His eyes suddenly appeared…flat. A muscle ticked in his jaw again, and I’d never wanted to be able to read his mind more than I did right now. My words had done absolutely nothing to appease him, so I tried again.

“Julian’s not going to break your fingers for kissing me,” I sighed.

A husky chuckle emerged from Noah’s lips. He shook his head before piercing me with a look that made my knees threaten to buckle. Brightness had returned to his gaze.

“If I get into that bed with you, Julian won’t be breaking my fingers for just kissing you, Gemma. My self-control where you’re concerned is slipping.”

“Let it slip,” I whispered.

“I want to. Fuck, I want to.” His words descended into a slight growl as he pushed a hand through his hair and leaned even closer to me. Close enough that I felt his words brush against my lips. “But even if I let myself touch you, it can’t be here. If I’m going to make you come, it’s going to be somewhere that I get to hear you. I want to hear those pretty sounds come out of your mouth for me this time, and I’m gonna need you to be loud. I want you to scream my fucking name, Em.”

My face flushed. I could feel the burn of my skin, heating me from the inside out. I swallowed and let my lips find Noah’s ear, murmuring. “That night you heard me…those sounds, they were for you. They’ve been for you.”

Noah abruptly pushed away from me, cursing as he walked into his room and snatched a pillow from the bed. “Christ, Gemma.” He shook his head, walking over to turn the space heater on. “I really wish you hadn’t told me that. Not right now.”

“Noah…” I started but didn’t know what else to say to him. His mind seemed made up, judging by how he brushed past me to throw his pillow on the couch. “Noah, I trust you.”

It was the only other thing I wanted him to know.

I trusted him.

He didn’t need to sleep on the couch.

No matter what happened tonight, I trusted him.

“I don’t know if you should,” Noah muttered as he dragged a blanket out of a closet.

Goddamn him.

“I don’t want to take your bed,” I said, recognizing defeat when I saw it. “I can sleep on the couch.”

“No,” he argued, his words clipped but his eyes gentle as they landed on me. “You’re going to sleep in the bed. And you’re also going to wake me up if you get sick during the night.”

“Fine,” I gave in but crossed my arms over my chest so he knew I wasn’t happy about it.

Noah noticed the movement, but I doubted he was thinking about what it meant. Instead, his eyes lingered on my chest before jumping away as he swore under his breath.

I couldn’t help a small smirk of satisfaction from slipping onto my face.

I didn’t feel bad for torturing him anymore, not when he did it himself. He could have me. At this point, I was pretty sure I’d made that more than clear. All I could do was hope that by the time we made it back to Boston…his head would be clear, too.

It was only a matter of time.

That was what I told myself as I tried to trick my body into sleeping when I finally got into bed with Noah still on the couch. I twisted onto my side, wrapping my arms around me as I pretended I didn’t wish his arms were comforting me instead.

Goddamn him. Playboy, my ass.

I’d given that boy a clear directive to play all he wanted, and he was out there on the fucking couch.

I sighed, shutting my eyes to the moonlight filtering into the room.

Soon, we’d be home again. And there was no way things would be the same.

Right?