novelxo Always Red: Chapter 22
“Red, wait.”
I should have let her go. I was parked in front of Kara’s home to drop her off. I needed to rush to the airport before my plane left, but I grabbed her hand before she could slide out of the car.
“I want to walk you to the door.”
When her eyes softened, I drew her in to me and just held her close.
Would I ever get used to this?
Would I ever get used to the way my heart pounded every time she let me wrap my arms around her, the way she let her walls down for me, the way she let herself trust and allowed herself to…just love me?
“I don’t want to go,” I said.
Her arms came around my back. “I know,” she said quietly. “But you’ll be back soon.”
“Think of me.”
“I think it’s impossible not to.”
I. Couldn’t. Stop. Grinning.
I pulled away and looked at her. Taking my fill, memorizing her face. “Hold on.”
I pulled out my phone and quickly took a picture of her.
“Caleb!”
“There. All set.” I hid my phone before she could grab it and look at my photos. I think there were five pictures in my photo gallery that weren’t of her. Okay, maybe four. I loved taking candid snapshots of her—especially when she wasn’t expecting it. When she was studying at her desk. Standing at the stove cooking pancakes, holding up her hand to block the camera but grinning. Glaring at me as she picked up my clothes from the floor. There was one I took as she napped that I really cherished. I felt a little guilty, but not too guilty.
Yep. I’m a creep.
Her creep.
“Where’s your phone?” I asked.
She frowned. “Why?”
“Just give it to me. No arguing.” And then I added, “I’m leaving tonight. Please be nice to me.”
I batted my lashes at her, and she laughed. She gave me her phone reluctantly.
“What’s your pass code?” I asked.
“Just give it to me. I’ll do it,” she said.
“What is it?”
I looked up from the screen to see her blushing. I raised my brows, waiting.
“It’s your birthday,” she admitted.
Damn it. Damn it. Again, I couldn’t stop grinning.
“Why you so obsessed with me, Red? Ow!”
I rubbed my arm where she’d pinched me. She was still glaring at me, so I just leaned beside her so our faces were touching and took a picture. I sent the photo to my number, made that her wallpaper, and returned her phone.
She shook her head and gave me an exasperated look, but she was smiling.
“Are you nervous? About going to work, I mean,” she asked.
“A little bit,” I answered. She tucked a loose hair that had come out of her bun behind her ear.
I remembered her ponytail coming loose earlier when I kissed the hell out of her in the parking lot. I remembered plunging my hands into the dark thickness. I’d watched her struggle to gather herself together, and it was a treat to see. I would have enjoyed it more if I hadn’t had a raging hard-on at the time.
I loved how I could make her lose control like that. I really wanted to see it again and maybe do…other things. When I felt my pants start to tighten, I nearly cursed out loud.
I blushed when I saw her watching me, and I had the terrifying thought that she could read my mind. But then I realized she was still waiting for me to explain.
What the hell were we talking about?
“I guess you’d have a lot of responsibilities,” she prompted.
Right. Work.
I nodded, releasing that lock of hair she had tucked behind her ear and twirling it around my finger.
I found that I had to touch her whenever she was near me. I couldn’t help myself.
“I don’t mind. I’m more excited than nervous, and I’m looking forward to it. Although I wish you’d go with me.”
“I can’t.” But I want to was what I heard in her voice. Of course she didn’t say it, but I knew anyway. “I have to work, Caleb.”
Telling her I didn’t want her to work was on the tip of my tongue. Luckily, I shut my mouth before it came out. But there had to be some way.
“If I offered you a job, what would you say?”
She let out an annoyed sigh. “I’d say you can kiss my butt.”
I knew it.
“Okay.” Then I widened my eyes. “What? Right now? You’re so insatiable. I thought that parking lot session was enough, but I guess it left you wanting more. Now I have to satisfy you in…other ways.”
Her mouth fell open. I just had to laugh.
Although…I was serious. I was really serious. In fact I was thinking that—
“Like what?” she asked.
I froze. Her eyes had darkened. Damn. My pants felt tight.
Then she shook her head as if to clear her thoughts. “I’m serious, Caleb. Don’t.”
Huh?
“Don’t what? Satisfy you in other ways?”
She was blushing so hard that even the tips of her ears were red. I realized she hadn’t meant to have that unguarded moment when she asked, in that sexy, make-love-to-me voice, Like what?
She had fried my brain with that simple question and the look in her eyes.
I couldn’t keep up with her. She drove me wild.
“No,” she replied quietly. “Let’s stop talking about sex for a minute, please?”
Why?
But I nodded. I didn’t want to push her on this. But damn. I wanted her so damn bad.
And I really needed to adjust my pants. When she looked out the car window, I quickly did.
“I have my own job. I don’t want you to give me work. I want to make it on my own.”
We were back to this. Okay then. I let out a defeated sigh. There was no arguing with her when she was in this mood. I knew when to push something and when to let it go. The set of her jaw and the warning in her eyes told me this was nonnegotiable.
“Okay, then I didn’t say anything. It was your imagination. Can I hold your hand now?”
Her lips stretched into a pretty smile, and I reached for her hand, played with her fingers.
“You said you had a deal with your mom. I’m trying to understand why.”
“Why what?” But I knew what she meant. And it embarrassed me to talk about it.
“Why wouldn’t you want to work for your company while you were in college? It would have been a big help to you, wouldn’t it? In school and for your position in the company now, if you had more training.”
Embarrassed, I rubbed the back of my knuckle on the tip of my nose. “I did actually work for Ben before. You know I wasn’t always this responsible and respectable.”
She raised her eyebrow. I know that very well, her expression said.
I let out an uncomfortable laugh. “Even before my parents’ marriage completely fell apart, my dad had already moved out.”
My embarrassment was replaced by resentment so quickly that I didn’t realize my hands had turned into tight fists until she pried them open gently. With her sweet, silent coaxing, she laced her fingers with mine.
“I just switched off, I guess. I didn’t want to care that much. My dad wanted me to be one of the best hoteliers, so I worked my ass off. And when he left when I was in high school, I rebelled. Didn’t want to make him proud, didn’t want to do anything with him.”
I looked down at our joined hands, swallowed the bitterness climbing up my throat, and took comfort in Red’s touch. She calmed me down.
“But I realized that the more I resented him, the more I told myself I didn’t care, that he was not a part of my life, had no say in my life… It just meant I was letting him influence my decisions.”
I looked up into her eyes. Dark cat eyes that always visited my dreams at night.
“I was letting him control me. Giving him more power over me. And it had to stop. You know when I realized that?”
She shook her head.
“When I met you,” I confessed quietly. “You woke me up. I saw how hard you were working, how independent and dedicated and stubborn you are, and I felt…ashamed. But most of all, you inspired me. Still do. And you make me want to be a better version of myself.”
I heard her draw a sharp breath, felt her fingers tighten around mine.
“Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn’t met you that night. I have very, very bad thoughts about that.”
“Caleb,” she said tenderly and leaned forward to lay her soft lips on mine. “I need to tell you something.”
“Okay.”
“I know in your line of work you need…someone who can help you.”
I straightened in my seat, alert now. Was she going to say that she wanted to work for me? Quit her job and just be with me?
“Someone to make your personal and business life easier. A wife who has connections that will open doors for you. Who goes to club luncheons and charities. Someone in your social circle—”
“Whoa, whoa, Red. Where the hell is this coming from?”
And then I realized: Beatrice-Rose.
Damn it!
Frustrated, I raked my fingers through my hair, barely containing my anger. Beatrice-Rose was really testing what little patience I had left for her.
“Listen to me,” Red ordered. “I’m not finished.”
The quick flash of temper and sharpness in her voice shifted my eyes back to her face. Her eyes were dark and blazing with anger.
Damn, I loved my girl when she was furious. I had to be sick.
“Yes, master.” I couldn’t help it. I had to say it.
She narrowed her eyes. “I know all that. And it might make your life easier if you marry someone with social standing like Beatrice-Rose.”
“Now, wait a minute—”
“I said I’m not finished.”
I felt like a student getting a lecture. Except that I really, really wanted the lecture because the teacher was hot. Blazing hot. I realized I was grinning when she narrowed her eyes into slits again. I had to work hard to keep a straight face.
“I didn’t grow up in your world, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know these things. I’m not stupid. I know it would be more beneficial for you to marry someone from a family with a prestigious name. Someone who could play the piano and eat caviar and goat cheese and snails and disgusting rich-people food—”
“Snails give me indigestion, Red.”
“—and someone who has a degree in art history or philosophy. Who wears Louboutin shoes and expensive dresses.”
She was getting angrier by the second. And I was mesmerized.
“Someone who manages your household and has her own business but still has energy when she comes home to you and knows all these wonderful tricks in bed.”
“Wait, what tricks?”
“Caleb.”
Now her voice hitched, and when she looked at me, her eyes were vulnerable. My heart squeezed painfully.
“I don’t care,” she said quietly. “I have nothing to offer you but myself. But that’s everything I have. That’s all I have. And it’s yours.”
My chest filled with so much love for her that I forgot to breathe. If I’d been standing, my knees would have given out on me.
Oh, this girl. This girl owned me. Body and soul. I had never loved anyone like this.
“Red.”
She looked down at her lap.
How could one girl consume me like this? But I knew. I knew. She wasn’t just any girl. She was the one meant for me.
“It’s all I need,” I whispered.
I waited for her to look at me before continuing. A tear fell onto her lap, and I felt…destroyed. I was nothing—nothing without her.
“You’re all I need,” I said. “You’re all there is. Nothing else matters.”
I held her hand and placed it where my heart was beating against my chest. “Sometimes when I look at you, this feels like it’s going to burst. I feel so much. So much for you. I never wanted anyone the way I want you, need you. I want it more than breathing. I don’t want anything or anyone else. Just this, just you, right here. Give me this, give me yourself, and I’m the happiest man on earth.”
She wrapped her arms around me, and I felt her tears on my neck.
I wanted her laughter again, her smiles.
“I’m not very fond of those Louboutin shoes anyway,” I said. “Do you know how much those heels hurt? One girl stepped on me, and I swear my soul cried out in pain.”
Her shoulders shook, but this time, I knew it was with mirth.
“So…what kind of tricks were you talking about?” I asked.
When she realized what I was talking about, she laughed, pulled away, and lightly smacked my arm. I looked at her face, and the sadness was gone.
“I love you, Red.”
“I love you, Caleb.”
She took a deep breath and smiled at me so beautifully that my brain stopped functioning for a minute.
I blinked. “Sorry?”
“I said you’re going to be late for your flight. You better go.”
I slipped out of the car to open her door, but as usual, she beat me to it.
I held her hand as we walked to the door. She was just opening it when I stopped her.
“Can I come in?” I asked.
“Don’t you have to be there a couple hours before your flight?”
“I’ll make it. I won’t stay long. Maybe ten minutes.”
She tightened her hold on my hand and smiled. “Okay. Come in, Caleb.”
As soon as I entered, I froze.
Damon was sprawled on the couch, a big bowl of popcorn on his lap as he watched a hockey game on TV. He looked over when he heard us come in.
What the hell was he doing here?