novelxo Chapter 93
Isabella's POV
A knock pulls me out of my thoughts and I get down immediately from the bed to answer the door.
it must be Grandma. I know she can't stay angry with me for too long. I have been waiting for days for her to come back since I don't know where she is staying in Paris.
We cried. We both cried. And she left.
itis high time she came back so we could talk and I can tell her the real reason why I did what I did.
I didn't do that for no reason. I did it for a good reason.
I get to the door and turn the doorknob but surprisingly, there is no one in front of the door. I step out and look around but everywhere is silent and empty.
My neighbor has gone to work already. I heard her muttering some French words as she locked her door before taking the staircase down.
She isn't the one.
Who could it be? Is it Grandma? Did she change her mind about coming to see me so we could talk?
Realizing that Grandma must still be mad at me, I sigh and step back inside. The moment to close the door, I see it.
A sheet of paper on the floor. The person responsible for this must have pushed it through the little hole from outside.
itis not a small paper this time. It is long and looks like a letter written to a long-lost friend.
Jayden.
This must be Jayden. I haven't seen him since I saw that wine on my doorstep. I don't know what this wine signifies but I feel he is stupid for bringing me the wine when I can't even take it.
Did he do it just so I can figure out that he is the one responsible for all those strange gifts and messages?
Even though I don't want to see him, I have been looking out of the window to see if I can catch a glimpse of him.
I don't see him and it increases my curiosity. Is he here with Grandma?
Quickly, I pick up the paper and walk to the cane chair to sit in and read.
I wonder what this is about. Has he suddenly become a coward for not showing his face to me?
I flop heavily on the chair before opening the paper.
I read out aloud.
“I know this might not be appreciated but it will clear up the air and explain some certain things you are oblivion to"
“I know I hurt you deeply but first of all, I want you to find a place in your heart to forgive me. Life has been really hard for the last six months since you left me. I miss you, Isabella. Some sentences are incomplete if you are not reading this novel on FindNovel.net. Visit FindNovel.net to read the complete chapters for free. I miss your smile. I miss how you gush over me in concern. I miss how you bite your lips and I miss hearing your voice.”
“You won't believe I made Italy my second home ever since you left. I thought you were in Italy and I have been searching for you for months. Do you want to know why I did what I did? You want to know why I claimed to hate children?"
At this point, I want to stop reading. This is bullshit! Why is he telling me all of this? Do I look like a fool to him? Does he think his sweet words will work on me again?
I want to stop reading. I know the reason why he hates babies. That is because he lost his baby. That is all.
Isn't this what he wants to tell me?
Out of curiosity, I look down to continue reading.
“I didn't tell you the whole thing that happened that night at the lake house. I only told you what everyone believed. This is something I haven't told anyone except Grandma. Your Grandma. That night when Helena left the house in anger, I didn’t follow her because of my ego. Then she had an accident and the first thing that happened was losing the baby. Helena realized the baby was gone so she didn't attempt to seek help or try to get out of the car till we got there. She was crying. The phone was next to her. She didn't call me for help because the baby was gone and she wanted to give up on that” “When Gabriel and I got there, she wanted to say something, probably to tell me that the baby is gone but I was less concerned about the baby. I was more concerned about her survival. She couldn't say anything. Her hands were around her belly as she gave up the ghost. Then I began to blame myself and the baby. That made me hate babies. The baby was innocent, I was the stupid one to have done that but I was traumatized. I refused to seek help. I wanted to remain that way until you came along."
“When I heard you were pregnant, I wasn't sure how I felt. All I knew was that I wasn't sad like I thought I would be. I never expected it. It came as a shock and I was trying to wrap my head around everything. First, it was the sex. It was intense and passionate. I couldn't stop thinking about it. You filled my thoughts all day, even at work, I get distracted. I thought it was a bad thing. I thought I was being unfaithful to the woman I vowed to remain loyal to for life but then your words kept ringing bells in my ears.”
“Helena would want me to be happy.”
“You were right, Isabella. Gabriel was right. But I was wrong.”
“All along, I was wrong. I had a bad feeling. Everything about me right from when she died was wrong. I don't know what happened but it took me almost a year of having you close to me to realize what mess I have been into. I have been living a difficult life, hanging on the rope of my past, not willing to let go not only because of my commitment but also because of my guilt”
At this point, tears are already streaming down my eyes.
I don't know if this is the truth. I don’t know if Jayden actually wrote this. I don't know why he is pouring out his heart into this and making me cry.
Does he want to make me feel guilty? He is already doing that.
I feel guilty.
Instead of turning to the other page to continue reading to the end, I stare out of the window with the paper tightly squeezed between my hands, tears spilling down from my eyes.
I don't know what to think of this. I don't know why confusion clouds my mind. I don't know why I feel guilty.
I jerk upright when a knock comes on the door again. I snap my head back, my mind drifting back to Jayden and this letter. is he the one? Is he back to finally talk to me face to face? Has he been lurking around all along waiting for me to finish up with the letter he wrote to explain the reasons for his actions?
I get up from the chair, wiping my tears. I stroll to the door with a sudden surge of energy.
When I throw the door open, a woman is standing in front of me. It takes a while for me to recognize her to be Grandma. She is wearing another expensive dress which I am sure Jayden got for her.
“Grandma” I want to squeal but her expression is still cold just like the other day.
“Get your things, we are going back to America now”, she declares with implacable authority.