novelxo A Spinster for the Earl: Chapter 18
Lucy crept down the servants’ hallway. Her heart was in her throat. She was doubly nervous. Not only was she sneaking out of her home for the first time, but she was on her way to meet Isaac in private.
This meeting was far from innocent, she knew, and she had to assume it would involve more than another perfect kiss. But she wanted that. She didn’t know what he would do, but she had spent the last few weeks craving him so badly that she couldn’t sit still. It felt like all the meetings they had had with no chance of privacy had been simply designed for the purpose of torturing her.
She reached out, her hand shaking, and slowly twisted the doorknob. She expelled a harsh breath and pushed the door open, the warm night air hitting her face. It was relaxing. It was, however, far too warm to be wearing a heavy dark cloak. It was much better to feel a little hot than to be recognized by family, or worse, a gossip.
She couldn’t remember the last time she had been out late at night. Her parents liked to go to bed early, and her mother was terrified of the dark. That was partially why Lucy missed the country. She had had so many wonderful memories with Harriet the summer they had lived with their aunt Bridget. Even all the mosquito bites had been worth the relaxed rules of country life.
And that memory was also comforting because while Emma was undoubtedly the best-behaved Hale sister, Harriet was no saint. Lucy knew a lot more than she’d ever let on, and she certainly knew that Harriet had had her own secret rendezvous with the Duke of Stanton. Perhaps the difference was that Harriet had gone ahead and married him, and Lucy was just enjoying the moments she had with Isaac while they lasted.
Lucy crept around the back of the house. The entire yard was surrounded by a gray stone wall. Luckily, she was good at climbing. She put her foot on an uneven stone and hauled herself up. She found another foothole, and just like that, she climbed up the wall. She straightened out her skirts and hopped over. There, on the street, the carriage waited, the driver standing, ready to help her in.
She took a deep breath and reached her hand out. The driver opened the door and helped her up, her cheeks reddening the instant she saw Isaac inside. He smiled, pulling her beside him. The driver shut the door.
“In between your dances with suitors and days at the races, I am glad you were able to pencil me in,” Isaac said.
The carriage began to roll. The night was fairly quiet, save for the soft clomps of horses’ hooves along the cobblestone street.
“Likewise,” she returned.
He looked quiet for a moment. “I think it’s safe to say that the highlight of the race was seeing you.”
“Oh.” Lucy smiled, feeling her breath catch in her throat. She shifted in her seat, wanting to sit closer to him but not knowing if she should. This was all so foreign to her. “Like—likewise.”
Try as she might, she couldn’t stop herself from acting impossibly shy and totally unlike the firebrand she was.
“We should be at the estate in just a few minutes. It’s one of my London homes,” he said. “And I’ve given my staff the night off, so it will just be us.”
She nodded, feeling even more nervous at the idea of being completely alone with him. She had been wanting this for so long, but she still hardly knew what to expect. She hadn’t explored her own body much. She had been too scared, but now she wished she had, just so that she had some idea of what she was getting into.
She sucked in a breath through her teeth and closed her eyes as he leaned in closer to her ear and brushed her dark hair off her neck. She shivered, instinctively stretching her neck out for him.
“Are you nervous?” His voice was a whisper, and then all of a sudden, his lips were trailing across her neck, planting soft kisses.
Lucy bit back a moan and managed to nod. She wasn’t sure how long it would take for her to feel brave under his touch. He was so confident, and for once, she could savor how it felt to not have to think too much. She had a way of overthinking everything, so surrendering to him felt like a relief.
He pulled away from her neck, just enough so that his lips were no longer touching her skin, but he was still close, and his hand was firmly holding her head. She wanted to touch him so badly, but she was scared.
“Remember how I said I wanted to take care of you?”
She nodded. She had never forgotten those words. They were simultaneously the sweetest and most scandalous words that she had ever heard.
“Good. We’ll go at your pace,” he murmured. “So, what do you want?”
Lucy tried to breathe in, but the air was so heavy. She squirmed in her seat, feeling restless. Her hips ached. She knew what she wanted, but she didn’t know how to put it into words.
“Tell me, Lucy,” he pleaded softly.
Lucy turned her head and looked at him. His eyes were piercing, blue enough to drown her in, and maybe they already had. She hadn’t quite been the same woman since she’d met him. She was different. Better. Braver.
Her eyes trailed down to his lips.
“You.”
Thankfully, that was enough for him.
Isaac reached out, pressing his lips against hers. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her toward him until she was forced to wrap her arms around his neck. His lips were hungry, his hands were powerful, running along her curves and making her gasp for air. She trailed her fingers up the back of his neck, and he ran his tongue across her bottom lip until she parted her lips for him.
His kiss was the most intense feeling she’d ever experienced. She had seen people kiss before, but it was never like this. It was never so urgent, so out-of-control, it was never like everything stopped and the ground fell out from underneath here. Here she was, in his arms, falling and falling, and there was nothing to catch her. Maybe there was someone else she could have kissed and not felt anything for, but when Isaac kissed her, he made the risk worth it.
She swallowed her fears and ran her hand over his chest, feeling his muscles through his clothes. She wished he was wearing less. She was lucky she had a good imagination.
He grunted softly, moving further into her until he was pinning her back against the seat, his lips trailing down her neck and across her collarbone. She dug her fingernails into the back of his neck and whimpered as his lips sucked at the top of her breasts. While the neckline stopped him from kissing any lower, his hands reached out and grasped softly at her. She moaned, not expecting it to feel so good. She could feel it all the way between her legs.
She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to feel this insatiable ache or whether her inner thighs were supposed to feel so wet. But she supposed that if he made her feel that way, then it must be natural.
The carriage came to a stop, and he pulled back, panting. His eyes were fixed on her, filled with an intensity and desire that she hadn’t seen before. He collected himself, fixing her hair and readjusting her dress so that she was decent. He pulled his hands away just in time for the door to open and then he hopped out. Her fingers brushed against his, and he guided her out onto the driveway.
His London house was much more private than she’d imagined. It boasted a large yard, similar to her father’s house. It had two stories but looked to be large enough to host guests. The house was built of sunset red bricks and large white Greek revival columns. Instead of leading her to the front door, he guided her around the house to the secluded backyard.
Lucy breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that there was no one close enough to see her. While it had been overcast, it hadn’t rained yet, and the air was delightfully warm.
With her hand in his, he guided her around to a spot on the lawn covered by a willow tree. The branches were long, hanging down over a soft white blanket. Little candles flickered all around, twinkling in the night to make up for all the stars under cloud cover.
“What do you think?”
Lucy smiled. “You set that up for me?”
He tilted his head incredulously and looked behind her. “I think so. There’s no one else here.”
“Funny,” she said.
There was a little stone table beside them. On it was a tray with a bottle of wine and two glasses.
Isaac walked over, unbuttoning his coat and sliding it off his shoulders. He draped it over the edge of the table and picked up the bottle of wine. “I took a wild guess and picked out a Madeira. You strike me as the type.”
“I think you have me figured out,” she said, sitting on the blanket.
He poured two glasses of wine, then asked, “How was your day?”
The red drink swirled around the long stem glasses.
“Just passing the time until I met you,” she admitted, wringing out her hands. She was eager for that wine. She needed something to calm her down a little, as she was on fire with anticipation.
He grinned. “How flattering. Me too. I’ve looked forward to it all week. I had a morning engagement with Miss Barrington and our mothers today.”
Lucy winced at a pang in her chest. “Must have been nice.”
Isaac sat beside her, handing her the glass. She immediately brought it to her lips and closed her eyes, savoring the sweetness. It was nutty, and rich notes of caramel lingered on her tongue. She felt that comforting warmth bloom again in her chest, and she exhaled.
“It was!” Isaac laughed. “She’s fallen for Lord Weston.”
“That is entirely your fault.”
She looked down at her glass, wondering why he seemed so happy that Kitty had rejected him when his most consistent goal as of late was to marry. Kitty might not have been a love match, but she was sure to make a dutiful wife. She was so bright and cheerful. Surely anyone could learn to love her over time.
“I know,” he said. “I already told you. Why should she and I be relatively compatible, when I already know that she and Lord Weston are perfectly compatible? Besides, she and I agreed that we harbor nothing beyond friendship for each other.”
Lucy felt some relief. She had been wondering since the race whether he felt equally as passionate about her as she did for him. They had held hands. It was such a simple, relatively innocent gesture, and yet it had meant more than a kiss. A rake could kiss anyone, but would he really hold hands with anyone? Maybe she was overthinking it, after all.
Lucy didn’t want to push, but she couldn’t stop herself. “Do you really think you can find a love match this season?”
Isaac paused before taking a long sip of his wine. He set his glass on the table and leaned back in the grass. “I do not know what I think.”
“Do you know what you want?” she asked cautiously, unsure if she wanted to know the answer.
He said nothing, just slowly nodded his head, steeping them in pregnant silence.
“I don’t…” Lucy ground her teeth. “I don’t know what that means.”
“You don’t have to,” he said. “I am here. You are here. That is what matters right now.”
He motioned for her to lie down. Slowly, she rested her head on his chest, and within an instant, she melted into him. He wrapped an arm around her, and they lay there in the grass, with her feeling infinitely safe. She could hear his heartbeat.
“If you are happy, then that’s what matters,” she murmured.
Isaac ran his bare hand across her arm, and she felt her skin prickle with heat. She arched into him.
He expelled a relaxed sigh. “I was reading earlier. I told you, I had wanted to brush up on philosophy.”
“What did you read today?”
“The Social Contract,” he replied. “Isn’t it interesting how performative our lives are? It leaves me wondering how much of me is real and how much of me is just an actor.”
Lucy placed a hand on his chest and took a deep breath, savoring the feeling of him so close. “I am fairly certain that one of the first things I said to you was that I didn’t like you acting fake.”
“Ah,” he breathed. “That you did. But it seemed I impressed you anyway.”
She shook her head. “The Earl of Ramsbury didn’t impress me. Isaac impressed me. You impressed me.” She felt his body still underneath her, while his heartbeat quickened. She bit her lip.
“That is why… I wanted Miss Barrington to reject me.” His breath rattled as he exhaled. His hand slowly ran up her arm and then gently down her back, his fingertips grazing the cotton of her dress. “Because she doesn’t know me like you do. No one knows me like you do. No one.”
Lucy leaned up to look at him, feeling her heart in her throat. Her fingers trembled. He was leaning back, one arm around her waist and the other bent, his hand cradling his head.
She reached out, hesitantly trailing her fingers across the angle of his jaw. “Isaac,” she whispered.
Without another word between them, he sat up and pressed his lips against hers. She exhaled sharply, reaching out to put her wine glass on the table without pulling away from him. As her hand searched, he took her by it and rolled her onto her back. She dropped the glass beside her, spilling wine all over the blanket, but she didn’t care. She let go of the glass and wrapped her arms around his neck as he tugged at her lip with his teeth. She moaned against him.
The last time they had kissed, they had done so because they were attracted to each other, but now their bodies were tangled because of the things she’d said to him. And even now, it felt different, and maybe that was because she wanted more than just pleasure from him. She wanted him.
His hands roamed across her body and up the curve of her waist. He gently squeezed her breasts, making her back arch. Then, his hand trailed down, back over her waist, her hips, her thighs. At her knees, he bunched up her dress with his hand.
“Do you want more?”
Her mouth fell open, but she wasn’t sure what to say. She thought she knew what more was, but she had a feeling that he had something different in mind.
“If you don’t like it, we can stop anytime,” he reassured, his face close to hers.
She nodded, closing her eyes and squirming. “Please.”
He pulled her dress up above her knee and over the smooth porcelain skin of her thighs. She gasped as his fingers trailed across the sensitive skin of her inner thighs. She felt restless, her body squirming at his touch. She was dripping, and her core ached for his touch, but he didn’t give in.
She busied herself by unbuttoning his waistcoat and pushing it off his shoulders. Next, she pushed his suspenders off before working her fingers down the closures on the collar of his shirt and pushing it open just enough so that she could see the top of his chest.
She gasped, then moaned as his fingers ran across her heat and filled her with a delicious sensation. It was impossible to describe, as intense as a spark catching to flame, yet as indelible and soothing as a melody. Her hips bucked as he ran his fingers up to the peak of her slit, before massaging her in circles. She tipped her head back, her mouth hanging open as he kissed her neck. They were just getting started, and she had already felt something beyond what she knew to be possible. If this was the start, was she prepared for more?
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered in between kisses. “I haven’t wanted to look at anyone else. I just think about you. I’ve only wanted you.”
Lucy tried to respond, but she could hardly breathe with the way he was touching her. His fingers explored her folds as if he had all the time in the world. While she lay there, she allowed the sensation to wash over her. His touch, the warmth of his cologne, the smell of freshly cut grass, and the distinct hint of petrichor in the air around her.
She ran her fingers through his hair. It felt even softer than she remembered it.
“I need to taste you,” he groaned.
She swallowed hard, wondering why he’d said so when he had been kissing her this entire time. But as he bunched her skirts around her waist, she began to understand what he had meant.
He lay between her legs, and noticing the look of confusion and surprise on her face, he laughed lightly. “Do you understand? I don’t want to surprise you.”
“Why?” It was all she could squeak out.
He huffed, obviously amused by the mental picture in his head. “Because I wouldn’t put it past you to kick me in the face if I did startle you.”
“No, I mean, why would you…” She tried to catch her breath, but she couldn’t focus with the way he was holding her hips, in clear view of a part of herself she had been so careful to hide her entire life. “Why would you do that?”
He ran a gentle hand over her thigh. “Lay back, Lucy,” he whispered. “Let me take care of you. Let me give you what you need.”
Those were the words that had made her melt before, and now, they were doing the same. She leaned her head back, her legs trembling as he pressed gentle kisses across her thighs and sucked at the skin. Then, just when she least expected it, he pressed his mouth against her heat, and his tongue plunged in between her folds. She cried out, fisting the white blanket beneath them and squirming underneath him. He pinned her down by her hips, lapping feverishly at her folds.
When she looked down, his eyes were on hers. The sight of him was enough to intensify the feeling. Her legs felt restless. She wrapped one over his shoulder, the other bent in the air, her toes curling as he sucked at her pearl.
That was when she felt a cool wetness on her cheeks, soft at first. She felt it on her chest, then again on her arm. And just like that, the rain picked up, and the clouds finally broke. She shouted as the rain came pouring down. She thought it had ruined the moment, but it was as if Isaac didn’t even notice. He continued kissing her as the rain soaked his clothes and pasted his hair against his temples.
Instead of slowing, he slid one hand under her rear and lifted her so that her legs were wrapped around his head, and doubled his efforts. His fingers pressed against her entrance, and slowly, he filled her, causing her to grip the blanket even tighter. When she opened her mouth to gasp, the rain threatened to drown her. She dropped her head to the side just so she could breathe.
As inconvenient as the rain felt at first, it was refreshing, and knowing that he wanted her no matter what was happening around them was making the feeling even more intense. His fingers plunged in and out of her, drawing out every last gasp and moan from her lips before the feeling overwhelmed her.
She cried out, and suddenly, her core was exploding with a warmth that continued to build. Her legs shook, her hands grasped at his hair, and her head dipped all the way back, pressing into the ground underneath her. Waves of heat and pleasure rolled through her body and blossomed at her fingertips.
Spent, she collapsed completely, and after a few seconds, he pulled away. She closed her eyes, humming softly in the afterglow. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back onto her feet. Before he took her inside, he was sure to remember the wine.
She followed him, her hand in his, back onto the porch and through the back door. Inside the impeccably-neat sitting room were plenty of flickering candles for light. He set the bottle down, then wrapped her in his arms and kissed her, his hands holding her against him with as much care as they were commanding.
“How was that?” he asked.
“How do I…” she trailed off, shaking her head, her eyes closed. “How would I even begin to describe it?”
“Well, you’re certainly wet.”
“I think that was mostly due to the rain.”
“It’s not raining,” he whispered in her ear. She could hear the smile in his voice.
She lightly swatted him on the head. “It so is.”
“Fine.” He laughed, pressing one last kiss against her lips. “We should dry off by the fire.”
She collapsed against the door and caught her breath as she watched him through half-lidded eyes as he pulled his soaking, nearly transparent shirt over his head. Her mouth hung open at the sight of him shirtless. His muscles were defined, and his arms were as strong as they felt. She couldn’t believe how lucky she was that she had been adored by him.
She was very certain then that he was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of man. She wasn’t certain any longer whether the dreams and goals she had for herself made sense. After all, she felt better, and she felt more like herself whenever she was around him. Was she willing to give up whatever feeling was taking over her entire body?
He sat down on the couch and beckoned her over. She bit her tongue just so that she wouldn’t tell him the truth. She was in love with him, entirely, ultimately, and undividedly.