novelxo A Spinster for the Earl: Chapter 13
“Why are you so tight-lipped?” Rose whined. “This is no fun.”
“I am serious. There is not much to say,” Lucy lied.
She would never tell anyone the full story about Isaac and her. As far as anyone knew, they were friends that shared an interest in the humanities. Their secret arrangement would forever stay a secret.
“Do you just not notice the way he looks at you?” Rose asked. “I know you don’t have much experience in courting, but when a man looks at you like he does, that’s when you know he’s in love. Isn’t that right, Adam?”
Adam looked between Lucy and Rose and smiled sheepishly. “I wouldn’t push it, Rosie,” he said. “We may never know the truth.”
Lucy glanced at Adam. She had heard that men talked much more about their relationships. She would have been furious if Isaac had told anyone what she had agreed to, but she did have to wonder.
“What has he told you, Adam?” she asked.
If Adam knew, he would tell her, but he would also be discreet enough not to bring up anything incriminating in front of his younger sister.
He shook his head. “Why do you care what he is saying if you are just friends?”
Lucy frowned. A waiter passed by, holding a tray full of champagne flutes. She reached out, grabbing one. “I am just curious if he would agree.”
Adam sighed. “You both have the same story,” he said. “I might believe you both collaborated beforehand just to make us all feel like we’re mad.”
“We are not mad,” Rose declared. She readjusted the neckline of her green dress so that it sat a little higher. “She just does not want to admit that she is in love with him.”
“Love?” Lucy spluttered.
She had never been in love. She wasn’t entirely sure she knew what it was. Harriet had gone through the same journey during their summer at their aunt’s. Lucy wasn’t entirely sure about everything, but she remembered Harriet being completely certain that she knew what love was after she’d found it.
It seemed for each of her sisters, there had been something that had led them to the realization. Emma’s love story required vulnerability, and Harriet’s required service and sacrifice. Lucy liked rules, and she preferred things to be concrete. Of course, things never were, if Plato’s cave had taught her anything. Might the shadow on the wall that Harriet mistook for love be something entirely different to Emma? Might Lucy never even see the shadow from where she was sitting?
“If I was in love, I imagine I would have some inkling of it,” Lucy argued.
“It’s okay, Lucy,” Adam said, his mouth turning down slightly. “Love isn’t for everyone.”
Adam had matured into the stereotype of the fun uncle who had refused to settle down. Emma’s children loved him, and he never seemed like he was missing anything. Lucy, however, knew what it was to want things. She wanted things that didn’t go together. She could never admit to anyone that she wanted to be loved, because then she would be immediately shackled to the restrictive monotony of marriage.
She wanted to be more than just a mother one day. She wanted to be successful and intelligent, and she wanted people to remember her name. Today, she was Lord Wilkes’s daughter, and if she was loved, then she would be another man’s wife. When was she ever allowed to just be herself?
“No, it isn’t,” she said, nodding her head.
“Oh, Lucy!” Rose cried. “You cannot be convinced to end up like Adam.”
“Easy,” Adam warned.
“Why not?” Lucy asked. “He seems either incredibly happy in earnest or too foolish to realize that things could be better.”
Adam crossed his arms. “I am not your punching bag.”
He was, however, unable to hide the amusement on his face. Lucy had enjoyed picking on him for the entire seven years she had known him. After so long, it had become their own way of expressing their affection for each other.
The butler’s voice rang out, “The Earl of Ramsbury, joined by the Dowager Countess of Ramsbury!”
“Oh my God,” Adam breathed, his eyes widening.
Lucy’s heart was beating just knowing that Isaac was nearby, but right now, she was more shocked to learn that he had brought his mother. There had long been an air of mystery surrounding her. Isaac didn’t like to talk about her, and as far as anyone knew, she had inexplicably gone mad and retreated from Society.
“How long has she rejoined Society?”
Adam glanced at Lucy. “Today is the first.”
“She looks… uncomfortable,” Rose noted.
She was right. The Dowager Countess was wringing her hands as the room examined her and her son. She was tall like Isaac. Her hair was dark, and her eyes were icy blue. Her skin was pale, and deep wrinkle lines were worn into an otherwise youthful face. Her gaze ran back and forth over the room while she curtsied stiffly.
Isaac, on the other hand, looked serious and stressed out. It was much like he had appeared when they had begun their most recent promenade together. Based on that, and how much he disliked talking about his mother, Lucy could only assume that their relationship was rocky.
She watched him walk with his mother across the room. Usually, Isaac would come over to see her almost immediately, but today, he didn’t even appear to look for her. She felt her chest tighten. They were just friends, so she had no right to feel this needy for his attention. And yet, it was all she could think about.
“I should go introduce myself. These people are like wolves,” Adam said. “I am sure a friendly face will be appreciated.” He dusted off his coat and made his way across the room.
Rose stepped closer to Lucy. She leaned her head on her upper arm and blinked languidly. “This will undoubtedly be the highlight of gossip,” she whispered. “I feel bad for her.”
“Do you know anything about her?” Lucy queried.
Rose shook her head. “All I have heard is that after her husband passed away, she just went mad.”
“What do you mean, went mad?” Lucy asked.
Adam met up with Isaac and his mother across the room. The Dowager Countess seemed to feel less anxious in his presence. She waved someone over.
Rose shrugged. “I never asked. I just assumed she was strange.”
Lucy shook her head. “No wonder she looks so uncomfortable,” she murmured. “Everyone has assumptions about her that don’t look to be remotely true.”
She watched as the woman met up with the Baroness of Stratham and her daughter, Miss Kitty Barrington. Kitty was merely an acquaintance of Lucy’s. They were familiar with each other and had exchanged pleasantries before, but they never had anything in common. Kitty wasn’t very interested in academics, and to be quite honest, she had never struck Lucy as being very intelligent. She was, however, one of the sweetest people that Lucy had ever met.
“Oh,” Rose whispered as Isaac bowed to Kitty and offered his hand. Together, they went to the dance floor, leaving Lady Stratham and Adam with the Dowager Countess. “Didn’t they dance together at the last ball?”
Lucy felt a pang in her chest. The sight of Isaac dancing with Kitty made her stomach twist. Kitty was lovely. She was tall, lean, with immaculate wavy blonde hair and a dainty face. Her eyes were big, warm and brown. Lucy had always envied how effortlessly attractive she was. Kitty had never needed to try. She always said and did the right thing.
Lucy tried her hardest to act unbothered, starting with taking a much larger sip of champagne than was proper. It felt hot in her chest, but it didn’t stop her from feeling jealous.
“I told you,” she said. “Lord Ramsbury and I are just… we’re just friends.”
Rose crossed her arms. “I am sorry, I really thought…” she trailed off, watching Isaac spin Kitty across the dance floor, his face punctuated by a wide smile. “They make a great couple.”
Lucy’s breath caught in her throat, and her chest vibrated with a dull, terrible pain. He had looked at her like that. He had wanted her like that. But he hadn’t even thought of her yet. Wouldn’t he have introduced his mother if he felt any closeness toward her? Because, after all, maybe they were more than friends in her head. Only now, when he was dancing with someone else, was she willing to even consider that she might feel something.
“Miss Lucy.”
Lucy started. She looked up, locking eyes with Lord Langley. She tried to hide just how much she deflated before him.
“Is there room on your dance card this evening?”
Lucy hesitated, looking up at him and then back at Isaac. “Yes,” she said. “Why don’t we go now?”
“Now?” Lord Langley’s eyes widened as if she had caught him unprepared.
“Why not? There is a song playing.” She smiled. Even Rose looked shocked.
“Of course.”
Lord Langley bowed, offered his hand, then escorted her to the dance floor. Isaac met her eyes as they passed by. She thought he looked upset, but maybe it was all wishful thinking.
Lord Langley took her hands, and together, they began to dance.