novelxo A Dose of Pretty Poison: Chapter 7
He’s avoiding me.
And I’m not entirely sure what hurts more—him doing it, or that I knew he would. His text the other night didn’t surprise me. The guilt was written all over his face when he left my room that day. Even if he tried to hide it and distract me with a move I shouldn’t have found nearly as hot as I did, I could see it. But he left before I could try talking to him.
My response to him was less of a proposition and more just me trying to say that he shouldn’t regret it, because I don’t. But he never responded. And by the third day he gave Cam some excuse for why he couldn’t come over, I knew.
He won’t come anywhere near me.
To say I’ve been driving myself crazy with this would be an understatement. The kiss was one thing. There was never a point where I didn’t know what that was. He was doing me a favor and getting Craig off my back—and while I loved it more than I should have, I didn’t let myself get confused by it.
But this time was different.
This time was all him.
There were no ex-boyfriends to ward off. No life-and-death situation forcing us together. Nothing except two people and enough tension to suffocate with. And he can say it was a mistake all he wants, but I could see it in his eyes as we stared at each other.
He wanted it, too.
BY DAY FIVE, THERE’S a shift in my attitude. I’m not confused anymore. That stopped when I finally let myself accept that I didn’t force him into anything. Sure, I begged him, but as Mali reminded me, Hayes isn’t the kind of guy to get forced into anything.
If he didn’t want to do it, he wouldn’t have.
It’s as simple as that.
There was a point where I was angry. It’s a real dick move to avoid me like a coward after everything that happened last weekend. Threatening Craig at the party made it seem like he cares about me, and everything he’s done since the morning we spent together has shown the exact opposite.
But time has a way of changing your perspective with everything, and the same is true for this. I’m not angry anymore—I’m just sad. If I had known that this would be the aftermath of what we did, I never would have unlocked the skylight.
Hands down the best orgasm of my life, but I would trade it in a second to have him around me again.
“I’m so pathetic,” I say, dropping my head into my hands.
Mali sighs. “Being upset over this isn’t pathetic. It’s human.”
“But like, I miss him,” I admit. “I miss him so much it actually hurts. He hit it and quit it, and yet all I want is for him to show up and at least act like I don’t exist in person.”
She chuckles. “I love you, babe, but he technically didn’t. Hit it and quit it would entail that he got his rocks off, too. And if he had, I’d make him feel the pain of having his pubes pulled out one at a time until he looks like his balls haven’t dropped yet. But that’s not the case here.”
Groaning, I throw myself backward onto my bed. The same bed I can’t lay in anymore without picturing him hovering above me. Is he as hung up on this as I am? Yeah, right. Of course, he’s not. If he was, he would be here—instead of giving Cam excuses and showing up late to hockey practice just so he can avoid seeing me.
“I don’t think I’ll ever wrap my head around this.”
Mali lies down beside me. “Me either, but who knows. Maybe he’ll show up to the bonfire tonight. Has he ever missed one?”
My lips purse as I try to remember a time he wasn’t there, but I come up empty. “I don’t think so, but I guess there’s a first time for everything.”
“Well, if he does show up, I promise to distract Cam and the guys so you can talk to him. Confronting him seems like the only option you have anyway.”
She’s right, and a part of me considered showing up at the surf shop and talking to him there. But while I may be a total badass when it comes to literally anything else, my brain goes by a different set of rules with him. The fear of rejection is just too strong. I mean, the text he sent still hurts. I can’t even begin to imagine what it would feel like to hear him say it to my face.
“Thanks.” I roll over and rest my head on her shoulder. “You’re the best friend I ever had.”
She snorts. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN a cat in a room full of rocking chairs? The way every little thing has them looking around? That’s me. With each car door that shuts, I turn excitedly, hoping to see Hayes walking through the backyard as if nothing happened. And each time, I’m left disappointed.
He’s not coming.
Mali seems to be holding out hope, but if he was going to show up, he would be here by now. Instead of filling my head with false hopes, I’d rather face it now.
He’s so determined to not come anywhere near me that he’s willing to break the one summer tradition he and Cam have kept for the last three years—since the first time my parents let them have a fire without supervision.
I bring my legs up and wrap my arms around them, resting my head on my knees. Mali keeps glancing over at me, a worried look on her face, before she finally decides to put me out of my misery.
“Why do I feel like we’re missing someone?” she asks, looking around as if she doesn’t already know who isn’t here.
“Because we are,” Lucas answers. “Hayes and Isaac both didn’t come.”
“Isaac wasn’t fucking invited,” Cam sneers.
Mali drops her head as she smiles, then gets back to what her original intention was. “And Hayes? Where’s that idiot?”
Cam shrugs. “Not here.”
“Well, obviously.” She rolls her eyes. “But why isn’t he here? He’s always here.”
Owen takes the last sip of his beer and tosses the can onto the pile forming on the ground. “Anyone else think he’s been off lately?”
Lucas and Aiden nod, but Cam doesn’t seem bothered. He grabs the fire poker and starts to move some of the wood around.
“He’s probably hooking up with some new chick,” he says simply, with no idea that he just verbally punched me in the stomach. “He usually disappears for a bit when there’s someone new. He’ll come back around when either he realizes what they’re trying to do, or they realize he’s never going to settle down.”
I know it’s not true. Hayes can be a dick, but I don’t think he’s that cruel to start hooking up with some other girl right after what happened between us. And Cam doesn’t know that he’s not coming around to avoid me, so of course he would think that way. But that doesn’t mean the idea itself doesn’t make me feel like I could throw up.
Mali, the goddess she is, is so in tune with my emotions that she gives me an out before I even ask for one. She puts her hands on her lower stomach and winces.
“Lake, can I go lay in your bed?”
I nod. “Yeah. I’ll come with you.”
Cam’s brows furrow as he looks Mali over. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” she says, waving it off. “Period cramps.”
All the guys go dead silent, glancing at each other like it’s the most awkward situation they’ve ever been in.
“What are you, seven?” Mali quips. “I should keep that in mind. Ever want you guys to shut up? Simple. Just mention bleeding out of your vagina.”
“If only I knew that while we were still in high school,” I chime in.
As we’re walking away, the guy talk already begins.
“Have you ever fucked a girl on her period, though?” Owen asks. “Wettest she’s ever been. Hands down. No contest.”
Aiden sighs. “Yeah, I faint at the sight of blood, so I’ll take a pass on that one.”
“Let’s hope he never has a daughter,” I tell Mali.
She glances back at the fire. “Who, Aiden? That would require him getting laid, and he has no game.”
Fair enough.
We go into the house and before going up to my room, I gesture toward the fridge. “Should I grab the ice cream and some Midol?”
She shakes her head. “My shark week was two weeks ago. You just looked like you would rather be anywhere but out there.”
My shoulders sag as I give her a sad smile. “Thank you.”
“You can thank me by letting us watch Twilight.”
As she rushes up the stairs, I throw my head back and sigh before following her.
I should’ve known there was a catch.
TUESDAY COMES AND I try to stay at the rink a little longer than necessary after work under the pretenses of doing some registration paperwork. Really, I’m waiting to see if Hayes shows up for practice while I’m still here. But he never does. My guess is that he’s somewhere in the area, waiting for my rental car to leave the parking lot before he comes inside.
It’s frustrating as hell, but he’s definitely determined—I’ll give him that.
On Wednesday, I let myself consider showing up at his job for the millionth time, but there’s always something that holds me back. A little voice inside telling me that it’s a bad idea. That I shouldn’t subject myself to the possibility that I’ll get my heart stomped on…again.
But as I’m on my way to meet up with Heather and Mali for dinner, I spot his truck out front of the billiards place on Main Street. My thumbs beat against the steering wheel as I keep glancing over at it. And when the light turns green, I finally say fuck it and turn left.
Not doing anything about this is driving me crazy. If he wants nothing to do with me anymore, that’s fine. But he’ll have to tell me that to my face—potential heartbreak be damned.
Parking my car, I take out my phone and send the girls a text letting them know something came up. Once I press send, I look myself over in the mirror. With one last deep breath, I swallow down the lump in my throat and push away the nausea before going inside.
It only takes me a second before I spot him, standing in the back corner as he drinks a beer and shoots some pool. And the best part of all?
He’s alone.