180DAYS

GINEVRA P.O.V.

Beep beep beep!!!!

The sound of an alarm keeps beeping, I hate that sound, wait, it’s not exactly the sound of an alarm, it sounded so much like a machine... I tried moving my legs but they won’t budge, since my legs couldn’t move, well let me try to move my hands, I tried shaking my hands but they were stuck into something, it felt so warm and uncomfortable, I felt so uncomfortable. I could feel something in my mouth, it feels like I am attached to a life supporter, but why?. Where am I? hope Papa has taken his drugs? What about Mama, hope she has to eat, she has been working all day and she needs to rest. Is Matteo home? He needs to eat too, the food is getting cold...All these questions keep playing around my head, I don’t even know where I am. My mind keeps searching for answers until my memory button hit the last incident that took place...

Mama! Papa! Matteo! Where are you? Looking around me all I can see is darkness, I try opening my eyes but it feels so heavy. Who put off the lights? It’s getting cold. I squint my eyes to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I see an airplane losing control, and keeps twirling in circles, looking so closely, I see Papa, Mama, Matteo, and someone else I couldn’t see clearly. Then it dawned on me that the last person was me, I screamed in horror... “Mama, Papa, Matteo you need to leave that plane, it’s about to crash, someone help them please, the plane is about to crash...” I kept on shouting, I knew no one could hear me, and that caused me more pain, watching Mama die was so painful, I couldn’t tell papa that I love him so much before he died, I forgot to help mom bring more cotton and satins for her sewing, I never got to tell Brother that he is the best brother I have ever had... I mourn quietly, this pain was going to remain forever in my heart, a pain that wouldn’t be able to wipe off from the plate of my heart.

Am I dead? No, I can’t be, I asked God for another chance, but what if I am? If I am dead, where am I then? Is this heaven or Hell? I can’t be in heaven, I am still a virgin, I have never drunk before, I haven’t stolen, I have never killed anyone. But what if I’m in hell, I disobeyed Mama on the day of my wedding, I told her I would never marry the prince. I weep in pain. Did I get married to the prince? What will he think of the Esposito’s, I know he would think that we are not loyal... He would think we didn’t want me to be his bride. What happened to the Prince, how would he feel now, is he searching for me? Would he see me in this miserable state? I don’t want him to see me like this.

Lord if you can hear me, please have mercy, I don’t want to die like this, I don’t want my life to end like this. I know I am not worthy but please give me another chance on earth, I want to make my family proud... I couldn’t stop crying, I just kept drowning deep in the bottom of the lagoon... My eyes closed as I utter the last word of prayer, taking me back to my dark and silent days of pain.